2004

by Leroy Moore/Illin n' Chillin

In 1967, a Black disabled leader was born into an
independent thinking and radical Black family. My
mother was very independent and blazed new grounds on
how to rise her children. My father, an ex football
player and Black Panther, who worked with Push,
rainbow Coalition and was a revolutionary. Our family
saw him going to house meetings and groups he helped
start for Black youth, and his involvement in the
Black Panther Party. My mother dragged me to disabled
meetings, school's PTA's and protests on many issues.

In my early days I tagged along with my father
at house meetings on issues concerning the Black
community. Many youth at that time witnessed our elders
doing everything under the sun in the community;
children programs, home schooling, opening up stores,
providing in-home-support services to elders,
community doctor's office etc. This all took place by
people coming together at friends houses over some
soul food to lay out what needed to be done and how to
raise funds for the work. What happened?

Very slowly my father and others got involved
with organizations outside the Black community and
found the concept of receiving money outside the
community from the government and white foundations to
do work in the Black community. In my view this was
the downfall of the extraordinary work youth like
myself saw in my community. The first element that
was scraped was the environment my elders met in.
Slowly the structure of house meetings became ridge
and people had to fit into this strange uniform that
restricted our progress, conversation and created an
hierarchy with president, vice president, treasury and
secretary. All-of-a-sudden people had their hands out
for a piece of the money that flowed in from outside
of the community and the work we, youth, saw every day
by many was cut back drastically and the house
meetings were no longer popular in the community.
You would of think my generation would learn from
what we viewed when we was younger? Just like my
father, I got involved with my community and activist
groups. Carrying what my mother showed me by
attending all of those white disabled groups and that
was learn from them but always remember you cant
relay on them to carry out your agenda. She used to
say to me. Just like what I saw in those house
meetings I saw in many new groups today including
Disability Advocates of Minorities Organization, DAMO,
that got together to work on their own agenda. The
same thing has happen to these groups compare to the
groups my generation grew up in. Much incredible work
was done in the early days of these groups and it was
a family affair until outside pressure began to
influence the group. However in these days the amount
of time between a loose collective group to a
structure official uniform of non-profits is very
short and this is unfortunate.

The tight straight jacket of non-profits most of
the times suck the creativity, friendships, vision and
dedication of the group who started out with thinking
and working from their hearts but on the other hand in
our capitalist society very few of us can or will work
for free. So where is the middle stage? How much
some of us would love to turned back the clock to my
youth, seeing our communities totally ours without
strings attach to foundations, the red tape and paper
work and hierarchy of non-profits! But we must charge
onward into the future to find out new models of
community activist work that has a mixture of the two
models mentioned above or is it time to come up with a
whole new model.

Today, after five years of building Disability
Advocates of Minorities Organization we've felt the
straight jacket of fitting a collective group with
strong like family ties into a cold, informal and
culturally insensitive non-profit structure in the
last two years. This has turned my stomach inside out
so much that I'm taking time off and really answering
the question, are non-profits the way for
activists\revolutionaries like myself?
Just think about it, every group that turns into
a non-profit has to go down the same avenue. About
the time we have come out of this tunnel in getting
our non-profit status, do we have our same vision and
individuality and commitment to our community or are
we too wrapped up in bureaucracy culture of the
non-profit machine? Is this diversity? Hopefully we
know by now that there has to be another way to
continue to do our work as activists!

by Joe B.

Bio-Chrono,I Explain

Last time I went talked of deep abiding like of women because I couldn’t say love yet adding maybe in a few hundred years (Goddess and God) willing I’ll know enough of the feminine psyche to not run into so many of the opposite sex that have a smoldering hate of the male which I couldn’t help being part of.

Also there was writings of biological and chronological processes that may help me achieve an if not impossible but improbable goal.

For me women have both been waking nightmare and living breathing angels when they looked beyond the surface of this male’s deformed looks (wandering lazy eye) as I’ve said I was glad their were wars that disfigured,maimed, men though being killed is what mostly happens surviving war can be a long harrowing process.

Men born whole then by job injury,accident elsewhere in youth or in war return changed out or inside and must adjust to how people see them the most difficult for them are with women known or unknown to them judging them on looks appearance along.

Girl friends may leave, wives divorce or strangers avoid eye contact it is difficult to be rejected by something that happened them in youth,by accident, or war.

I didn’t go through war but my own facial features made it a problem because young girls,women expect to see good looking men to compliment their own good looks.
"Wonder looking Couple, they’re great looking together" as oppose to what does he or she see in him or her?

Sometimes I’ve though God made me with a correctable flaw that I young to understand and so missed looking as other people do.

My lazy eye flaw tells everyone as with cancer, or terminally obese that we human’s aren’t the paragons of animals we’d like to believe.

On the other side it was girls and women not men who help me through those lonely,angry,youth while guys used every opportunity to cut me away from them so I wouldn’t compete.

The Goddess gave me intuition,gift of gab, sensitivity,and a budding though slow to show gregarious outgoing personality and more a pleasing form if not face.

"If he cannot be perfect of face then he’ll be interesting and likable" it seems that’s the Goddess or Goddesses gift so it would not be complete hell it God plays it rough while Goddesses tempered what trials with imagination,wit,mother wit and courage to face what I must which had been constant rejection from her mortal sister’s wrath of being fashioned with flawed facial image.

Now on to time and life.

Time’s inexorable pull on us year by year as we bend lower coming closer to death if not final then temporary rest.

Life on the other hand fights time with all its might never giving in to the so called inevitable which is only such it life gives up.

Biology can beat time not by fighting it but using its system of retarding,slowing, reversal,and rejuvenation.

Not being a physicist, research scientist,or theorist reader may take everything said with a grain of salt.

We’ve all heard of children,men,women, animals,or someone’s beloved pet falling through ice and being quick frozen by the extreme cold and revived with little or no brain damage.

That’s time preserving bio signs by suspending it slowing the beating of a heart nerves and breathing to zero or close to it.

What I’m thinking is can one by eating, exercise,and lots of help from research scientists, nutritionists,and others in the life extension field could help slow or retard aging.

Now if a person could do this for a year actually suspend their biological time while chronological time moves it may be possible to be our own chronological clocks!

Time becomes superfluous because it’s the biological time that’s more important.

Say one absolutely stops or delays time for 1 year then 2?

Chronological time has moved while biological time has not.

Now say 2 years becomes 5,7 to bigger leaps of 10, 20,30,years of bio suspended time while alive and not waiting to return after death when and if science finds way of bringing the frozen dead back to life.

If one could while alive enable themselves to age-stop their personal time for maybe 50 years or so then chronological time begins to mean absolutely nothing to a you a bio-entity.

Of course one has to stick with the regimen for decades unless could gather the knowledge and have a full century of stopped time.

What’s Next?

Reversing aging slowly as chronological time moves one so now one isn’t only stopping their aging but also reversing it as well.

Sounds like fantasy and it remain so if people don’t try this option as well as others at our disposal.

Ok,so said person or person’s as test subjects have stopped and reversed their personal aging confounding friends, family,and themselves.

If needs an economic component lets say the longer and healthier people live the less strain on all medical fields and shows that America is still literally a land of dreams because where else do a people actually believe they can not only cheat time they beat time as well.

After a century of course some interior and exterior body parts have to be replaced by therapeutic cloning,some nano bio-bots forever keeping human systems healthy,merging with virus’s symbiotically keeping the safe from within.

No one is immortal yet just life extended longer than before.

If these people and others continue on this way immortality could be there’s long before their sleep freeze brothers and sisters awaken to they resume or live their lives anew.

Think about if there is no physical way of stopping,reversing biological time then Cryonics is away but if can do the above… it seems to me it should also be tried as another option.

I’ve always thought the first immortals are among us trying out wit,cheat, beat,liberate themselves from the narrow constraints of linear time.

I don’t know if I’m of that number but I do know it will take more than money,genius,luck, providence,science,or fate to make life extension and eventual immortality a reality it will take all of us globally using our unique talents,faults, grace,love of life to wrestle our way out of mortality.

I believe we will though it will take a tremendous effort because it is something we’ve never done before.

We all know just because something has not been done doesn’t mean it never will.

Becoming long lived species as death is a wake up call,if death may be a way of slowing down then life extension is our species alarm and immortality is our "stay up and awake" phase.

A few of us can rest and won’t die from it but for the rest of it’ll a time multiple levels of self explorations.

That’s my take on time and life of biology and chronology.

I have an idea on the android/human debate and how both species if androids become walking, self aware beings independent of their human creator’s.

Any grade or high school child knows the answer to that problem if they think a little.

Tell Joe what you think.

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San Francisco, CA 94103

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PO Box 1230 #204

Market St.

San Francisco, CA 94102

Email: askjoe@poormagazine.org

by Joshua Cinelli/Street Roots

Sheila had only been in town for a few days, having hitchhiked from Michigan with her human companion Brent. Even though Sheila was a long way from home, she looked very much at peace on a sunny day on the park mall lawn climbing over a group of young people collapsed in one heap.

Sheila is a young red heeler who nibbles on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while her companion talks about her.

"She is a pure bred — loyal and smart. We got picked up mostly because of her," says
Brent, who looks road weary but smiled as he glanced at his pup.

"We feed her before we feed ourselves," he said. "Even though she is small in stature, she is good protection and has an ability to sense danger."

All of which make Sheila a valuable companion on the streets of Portland where many youths arrive still clinging to the best friend from home, a dog or a cat, or maybe a stray that has tagged along. Homeless shelters in Portland don’t accept pets, and most owners aren’t willing to let their pets loose, or worse, for a night on a shelter bunk. Even if a shelter did allow pets, “It would have to be a nice one if I was going to let my dog stay there,” said one of Sheila’s companions. “Not like the pounds with the cages.”

Web has lived on the street for 10 years. He leans up against the side of a building while his two dogs, Ghengis Khan and Generation 13, play with a ball. “It’s hard out here with dogs. It’s a lot of responsibility. You can’t take the max or the bus. You can’t do a lot of things. But they are worth it.”

Web pats one dog on the back and said his four-legged friend has traveled 2,600 miles by way of hitchhiking. “There should be a program for alcohol and drug rehab where you can have animals.”

Right now there is hardly anywhere to bring an animal at night.
“There is no safe place to keep your pet,” a young man nicknamed Groundscore said. “You’d rather sleep under a bridge than give up your dog to go inside.”

At the Streetlight youth shelter, workers are addressing the needs brought up by youth who said the lack of shelter space for homeless youths with companion animals is a barrier in getting them off the street.

“Presently, we have two kennels and are working to make agreements with the youth to walk their dogs at night and first thing in the morning while making sure that the animals have proper vaccinations and licensing,” said Kevin Donegan, director of community programs at Janus Youth. “Otherwise, it is a danger to other pets and staff.”

Jess Fraver, a veterinary assistant at Lombard Animal hospital explained the necessity for the recommended immunizations for puppies and the financial cost involved with keeping up with shots and check ups.,

“If a shelter were to house animals there would be a need for a kennel cough vaccine because the kennel cough is a respiratory ailment quick to spread and with serious implications,” Fraver said.

There are currently free vet clinics offered periodically at Outside In and Dignity Village provided by volunteer veterinarians working with Progressive Animal Welfare Society, or PAWS. PAWS is taking a leadership role in providing direct care of homeless companion animals. Dignity Village currently has 30 cats and 14 dogs living out at Sunderland Yard and is the one place where folks who are homeless can live with their animals off the streets.
Matt Roselle of In Defense of Animals believes that companion animals are truly part of the family.

“If someone’s life situation changes and they end up without a place to live, the companion animal should be part of the equation,” Roselle said. “They should have shelters where families and individuals can have animals until they get back on their feet.”
There is a fine line between those who had companions when they were housed and those who take on animals while they are living on the street, Roselle said.

“It is not a responsible move for a homeless person that doesn’t have an animal to choose to take on an animal when they are in that situation. It is a big responsibility and should be taken seriously,” Roselle said.

It raises the issue that a large number of the housed population feel it is cruel for people who are on the street to have animals. Animal cruelty can be determined, according to PAWS, by observing characteristics of their environment, including access to food, water and shelter.

For a lot of young people without housing, an animal is a source for unconditional love and a constant companion. Snaggle Tooth, a trained chef, said his pit bull Chevy was the reason he gave up drugs.

“I just wanted to spend more time with her and be better to her.” Chevy, an affectionate smoocher, is dressed in a maroon sweatshirt and some beads hang around her neck. “I don’t know what I’d do without her.” Snag says.

Snag’s and Chevy’s relationship is not uncommon for people who are homeless and animal companions. Dogs, after 10,000 years of domestication, now depend on humans to comprise their pack. A sufficient amount of contact with the human pack provides the dog with the necessary security and order. This devotion becomes a two way street. Even during the coldest days and most adverse conditions of outside living, outreach workers have found a barrier to bringing people off the street into shelter because they will not abandon their companion.

When a person does give up an animal, if it is not taken by another person, than the animal goes to the animal shelter where many animals are euthanised after being labeled “unadoptable.” Mountain, a young woman now in housing, said it was extremely difficult to find an apartment that would let her keep her dog. Despite the limitations placed on individuals living on the street with companion animals, there are many positives for these young people to have an animal that provides love, protection and security. However, there are currently no plans to begin accepting pets into public shelters, according to Heather Lyons of the Bureau of Housing and Community Development.

“There has been discussion in the past on what to do with homeless people that have animals, especially youth, but there has not been a broad-based effort or an allocation of funds as of yet to change the access available.”

City's new alcove policy stirs up homeless displacement issues

By Joanne Zuhl/Street Roots

The city’s decision to waive fees on erecting alcove gates for downtown business owners is expected to further displace the city’s homeless population into outlying neighborhoods.
That might not have been the intent behind the 18-month pilot program, but it is a consequence homeless advocates hope the city is prepared to deal with.

"In these alcoves, police get a number of calls for services regarding the removal of criminal activities," Myers told the Council as photos of gratified alleyways, discarded beer and wine bottles, used syringes and feces flashed on the large screen above the Council.

The pilot project, proposed by downtown’s Senior Neighborhood Officer Jeff Myers, waives the high fees associated with permitting gates in downtown alcoves. The intention is to give business owners greater freedom to erect gates to prevent vandalism, drug use and other misuse of the alcoves along the city’s streets and alleys. The policy was supported by the city’s police and fire bureaus, city attorneys’ office, department of transportation, and other Portland departments, and received a unanimous vote of support from the City Council on March 17.

While the benefits to the pilot program were not questioned, Marc Jolin, an attorney with the Homeless Law Program of the Oregon Law Center raised the consequences.

"There will be a secondary effect on homeless people who use alcoves as a shelter of last resort," Jolin said to the Council.

"Alcoves are not part of our homeless system," said Commissioner Jim Francesconi said,
Perhaps not officially, but they are used as shelter for the homeless, which number far exceeds the amount of shelter beds provided in Portland.

Jolin said the impact on the homeless population must be addressed and incorporated into the process for developing and monitoring the pilot program. Many groups have already been addressing the homeless population to find new solutions, including the city's Blue Ribbon Commission on Homelessness, the Southeast Uplift Homeless Working Group, and crossroads. "The alcove abatement should be rolled into that process." Jolin said.

Other speakers questioned how the review process, which is paid for by the fees, will be conducted without the cut in funding. The impact on the displacement of the homeless into neighboring residential and business communities was also raised as a concern.

"It doesn’t go away," said one resident and board member of the Hosford-Abernathy Neighborhood Association. "It just changes the places. This may be ultimately part of the answer, but I think we need to involve everyone."

Commissioner Erik Sten said it was unfortunate that the homeless advocates were not involved in the process leading up to the abatement policy, but he voted in favor of the new policy saying there was still room for involvement as this program and others move forward.

All the members of the Council commented on the need to address the displacement issue, but that the concerns for criminal activity and the protection of property values were equally important for the downtown business owners.

Responding to the questions of displacement, Myers said the alcove project is only one of eight pilot projects the police and the city are working on to address the growing homeless population in Portland.

by Joe B.

2 For 1 Column Day

Today is a special [I know,"you’ve written long columns before Joe."]

True in the past 3-4, even 6 pages long or more this time its on purpose an not an accident of prose overflow.

The first is about the recent "Poor People’s Congress" From P.O.W. E.R. [People Organized to Win Employment Rights

It is a mass meeting of the above and other like minded organizations sick and tired of getting the shit end of San Francisco.

On Saturday,April. 17, 2004 the meeting began late but you know brown ‘n black bro’s and sister’s are first we meet,talk, catch up on each other, friends,and family are stomach and thirst then we concentrate on real serious business of worker rights for all.

A slide show from of Early Barbary Coast’s (S.F.) wild west past how emigrants from Aisans, Mexico,Original American’s,Blacks,Whites, and Pan Pacific Islander’s from the late the mid 1800’s (19th century and early 20th century help create the City we know and some of us love today.

But everyone of these worker’s time and again are given a raw deal as their communities became poorer while the blood, sweat,and toil meant profit and opulent wealth for those on Nob Hill, Pacifica,and other wealth communities.

A vote on a platform to give the majority of working people in this city a say in what happens in their lives and not to forced out when rents sky rocket because of reckless speculation, greedy real estate developers,and equally greedy land lords wanting convert their building into profit making loft or office building complexes not from any problem caused by tenants but for how much green to be made.

Mult lingual chants, a food break,question and answer, and play on how P. I.C.[Private Industry Council] playing politics with lives of single adults and families.

Next a call for to spread involvement into an unstoppable movement to create real affordable housing not the oxymoron it means now.

Questions and Comments were next followed by a two man rap group I’ve forgotten but their four songs though all were deep and makes you think.

Myself fell in and out of sleep sitting comfortably in the basement of Boniface Church.

It was an uplifting event which will grow because too many people and families middle income and less are shafted out of their fair share.

By 2:20 my second black bean and rice,taco,carrot cake, and grape juice lunch was done its time to bid ado to return home before returning the digital data machine, mikes,wire and bag they came in back to Poor Magazine on the same night that day.

All I say is there’s to many fed up,intelligent, poor folks out of work and they have lots idle time figuring out solutions to most of the problems they have not cause but are constantly scape-goated for and whatever befalls the silk hatted, Champaign,Caviar,bunch (though most mind you are innocent doing everything to help their fellow working,low waged San Franciscan’s)

For those guilty of corruption and grievous gobbling of excess money not really needed by folks who’ve already are wealthy as can be.

Got any ideas out there?

Hard working women, men,and families need all the help against forces arrayed against them.

Donations C/0 Poor Magazine

1448 Pine Street #205

San Francisco,CA 94103

Snail or Email Joe at:

PO Box 1230 #204

Market St. 94102

San Francisco,CA 94102

Email: askjoe@poormagazine.org

by Tiny/ PNN ReViEwsfOrTheReVoLuTiOn

"I do not consent to talk to you"

"Am I being detained?

"Am I free to go?"

As i watched these POWERful words of police resistance emote from the new COPWATCH know your rights training video I wished i had known these things when i was questioned, detained and finally arrested for Driving While Poor violations in Oakland a few years ago. In my case, the first rather innocuous questions about why i was " in the neighborhood" turned into the more serious, police sanctioned, "questioning" cause i was driving in a hooptie (old car) with all my possessions ( we were houseless at the time) i had priors for sleeping in my car, and although my mother was with me, i was only 17, all of which cleanly placed me as a "possible suspect" in the small strange minds of what i call the Po' Lice ( ya know parasites on the po')

"By not fearing the system you can change it" this empowering and engaging "training" video entitled "the Streets Are Watching" including brothers like Islord, a founding member of the Cinncinati branch of COPWATCH giving us words of scholarship from their ongoing struggles and necessary resistance to the local police departments' harassment of African-Americans in the Cinncinati area . Islord's narration cited the case of Timothy Thomas who was chased by cops on April 7th into an alley and then assasinated by cops igniting the infamous riots that ensued the day after the murder happened.

"People said we were tearing up our own neighborhoods", another Cinncinati member named Gavin related,but home ownership among African-Americans in Cinncinati is running at 3% - they were just trying to get noticed about this unjustice."

"The cops were basing all their stops on race profiling" Steve Nash, a founding member of the Denver branch of COPWATCH related their groups' recent win with the DEnver Police department. He went on to tell us that every Cinco De Mayo when thousands of Latino youth cruise the main Denver boulevard the police was pulling over several thousand youth on race based stops resulting in arrests and impounds of almost everyone they pulled over until the COPWATCH folk fought back by being present at the checkpoints and documenting each illegal stop- dropping the arrests to 15 citations and no arrests.

The first half of the Video was looking at the resistance of regional branches of COPWATCH; the second half was an on-screen KNOW YOUR RIGHTS training with extremely important information for all conscious citizens', especially poor folks and folk of color always at-risk of police harassment and abuse, such as the young folk at the school of Social Justice in Oakland who suffered the recent attacks by OPD

"You need to treat cops alot like farm animals, you don't want to startle or scare them" Andrea Pritchett from the Berkeley branch of COPWATCH narrated much of the Know your rights training tips with odd on-screen moments from startled and obviously defensive cops thrown in for visual aid, "You have the right to verbally refuse a search, if they are asking you questions and you answer then you are voluntarily participating in the cops' investigation" She went on to relate the modest beginnings of COPWATCH which was originally started in MArch of 1990 because the Berkeley police were trying to rid downtown Berkeley of all homeless people.

" The Signature of a real democracy is that there is a restraint on the police" As I watched civil rights attorney Osha Neuman who literally saved me from a long trip to Santa Rita County Jail for my crimes of poverty with his free and extremely innovative lawyering, speak into the camera, I was filled with not only inspiration but empowerment that with the knowledge imparted in tis video people could effectively resist the brutality, the harassment and maybe, even the wrongful death caused by the Po'lice

To get a copy of the video THESE STREETS ARE WATCHING produced and edited by Jacob Crawford contact COPWATCH at (510) 548-0425

by Joe B.

A Personal Quest

Well,folks a second column for the unseen public who are not able to write me because of excess spam may some of you get through someway,somehow, so dialog(s) can begin.

I remember reading Ann Fairbairn’s Five Smooth Stones about Joseph Champlin and his growing up from the early 1930’s through the 40’s,1950’s, and ‘60’s it is a book worth reading and pondering on but like Flower’s For Algernon the ending is too hard to take and I could never read those two books again.

Both Charlie and Joseph go struggle succeed only to fail one because of a chemical that a turns Charlie from a slow retarded man into a genius only to return back to his state of slow wittedness.

Joseph,an intelligent, sensitive,college educated young man falls in love with a white woman despite his friends and family he commits to marriage because he does love this woman and she returns his love.

A child is born and at a pivotal moment Joseph after an accident causing him to walk with a slight limp he again faces a civil rights orientated situation which doesn’t end well.

I am tired of Rainbow(Caucasians) included but mostly non white’s dying to live first for their rights, then for money,fame.

We have been dying shedding blood in war,by police,chased,de-balled, chard alive,chased like animals by mobs,KKK,or just for fun following their father’s teachings.

Isn’t time we as men stop setting our selves up as targets for hunting.

Bad enough we have a history of being set up by police to end up behind bars.

As a Black Man approaching 50 venturing though youth most girls ignored me,kept me at arms length which saved me during the late 70’s and 80’s before I knew about AIDS.

I met a few women learning about care, jealousy,and break us.

Finally a long term relationship with a lovely,sensuous,serious minded Black Woman and a friendship with a younger one completed a long process of delayed growing up.

My life has been difficult but not really as troubled as some of my brother’s and sister’s I see damaged women and men and wonder if I’ll ever be faithful married man to the woman who chose me as hers soul mate for life.

A low wage job,on Section 8,in the sometimes dangerous Tenderloin area of Market Street in San Francisco is not what most woman think of as date/mate material.

Even being in the City taints me as other than heterosexual even though my original home is New York,near the Bronx, Queens,and Park Avenue then moving to Oakland and Berkeley California or visa versa and while homeless learning silk screening,painting, environmentalart,and photography gave so may directions its difficult following one.

At this point I’m thinking of a longer span of life I owe it to myself to live,love,experience, as long as possible but the radical thing for me is see if it is possible to slow down and reverse my own aging process first struggling on my own then with help of Gerontology. Most people live their lives either quietly, adventurous,or inbetween I would really would like to try this way of living, has it been done before surely yes, but now if I had help from the government and followed some of they dictates minus too little sex. (I’ve done that already) I would like a small stipend and there should be others doing the same as I.

What would be the purpose of this living longevity study?

How about living longer and the results published so many more people can do the same but not under government care as we guinea pigs.

First as now I’ll struggle along giving up most of the foods, desserts,meats,all that cause to age the interior of the body,deep mental techniques,exercises to help further reverse maybe rejuvenate tissues throughout the body.

Later if a year then 2,3,up to 5 happens more will be possible until there is a limit then some cloning replacement parts, as the process of de-aging continues and some if not all of become younger there will be sexologist’s testing us further or our girlfriends,wives may do the honors checking on our complete sexual functioning.

It sounds science fictional but I’m starting now because there is no time like the present to go for this after all life should be enjoyed to its fullest and want more life for its fullest enjoyment.

If I succeed alone well its only I who’ll benefit but if the government or a life extension cartel with vast amount of knowledge can help then it speeds the way for everyone.

So,people,this is my quest and I don’t think I’m fighting windmills but it will take others doing the same thing to see what I’m about.

For the rest of you thinking me completely cracked even if I learn to slow,delay,and reverse my personal aging process.

If I can do it exactly the same way 50,60,70,or 80,times all it means is by 2030,40,or 2074,2084,I might not be an immortal that’s not the aim.

The aim is to simply be alive and healthy.

My other question is where will you reader’s be?

That’s it,my two columns,email or snail mail me especially Life Extension and Immortalist organizations.

Please tell where I can find studies on how to best do this self experiment without harming my self. Thank You



Donations C/0 Poor Magazine

1448 Pine Street #205

San Francisco,CA 94103

Snail or Email Joe at:

PO Box 1230 #204

Market St. 94102

San Francisco,CA 94102

Email: askjoe@poormagazine.org

by Willie Warren/Po Poets Project and Coalition On Homelessness

A Mac G3 computer,

Has captured my attention;

.Various thoughts are having,

One-hell-of-a-convention.

My J.V.C. is jammin�,

I�m sitting slightly stoned;

Finally after ten years

The computer is my own.

Classic Rock are the tunes,

For this tale being told;

Of a Street Sheet Salesman,

Waking up, before too old.

His name was George Hester,

Lived homeless for a while;

Until he missed his family,

And decided to reconcile.

Knowing his journey was long,

And Ooohhh, so tough as well;

He knew he had to change,

To escape his living hell.

Surrounded by temptations,

Meant for different breeds;

Walking the addiction line,

While craving hunger needs.

Gambling for sleeping places,

In a shelter lottery game:

Sometimes resulted outside,

Alone with personal shame.

Daytime came very early,

Energy and wits on trial:

Coalition On Homelessness,

Was the key to reconcile.

Signing to sell Street Sheets,

A homeless paper for all:

Each visit was George�s chance,

For a long distance call.

Talking to folks back home,

Makes the difference in the world;

Pride and stamina surfaces,

Like a U,S. flag unfurled.

Going to the �Hot Spot,�

With Street Sheets you sell;

Customers acknowledge you,

With sales and stories to tell.

Good karma and a some luck,

Causes your wallet to smile;

It helped George get closer,

To home and reconcile.

His mind had now decided,

To get it together quick;

His children needed daddy,

George got on the stick

First on his agenda,

Sacrifices of his choice:

This raised his energies,

And power of his voice.

Deep in his subconscious,

A family fire burned;

Time for back to basics,

And use all he had learned.

Surviving San Francisco,

By way of telephone dial;

Is lonely and heartbreaking,

Until you reconcile.

Seeing the differences,

In the City�s street lives;

Stars, athletes, drivers,

Including husbands and wives.

Soldiers, sailors, and pilots,

And people who lend money;

Togetherness told George,

Go home to your honey.

Daily Street Sheet sales,

Made George a few dollars;

County Assistance Aid,

Helped him clean his collars.

Continuing weekly calls,

Building his money pile;

Charted George�s journey,

Home to reconcile.

Anticipation was thick,

Like night fall to a cricket;

Countdown time until,

He bought his home ticket.

His people are glad he�s home,


Here�s George�s last message,

To San Francisco and friends.

When marital problems arise,

And life don�t look too good;

Sometimes separating makes,

Couples think, like they should.

When children are involved,

Check your attitude and style;

It takes two loving adults,

To forgive and reconcile.

by Joe B.

Fake Wombs,Two Mom’s And Zero Dad’s

Between experimental artificial wombs of 2000 and today’s "Males need not apply" at the lower page in the middle of the ever shrinking "The Examiner Weekly newspaper I’m wonder if both sexes have it wrong?

Its seems if men are redundant for pumping out trillions of gallons of spermatozoa that women can extract without flesh on flesh pleasure principle for procreation fake womb renders women as redundant.

I still maintain women and men are both equally brilliant and a the same time profoundly stupid.

Girls think quicker, better verbal,emotional intelligence until about 14 it may be 10 now its when they think of boys but its not the ones learning applied sciences, literature,or into politics its jocks,body builder’s,flashy ones with cars they go ga ga over.

It may take a decade or so until they are tired of being mistreated, disrespected,emotionally, and physically.

Boys take longer growing out of awkwardness some remain so we go for the too early ample girls with breasts and backs
( buttocks) teasing them mercilessly making them feel like freaks just as boys too skinny,tall,fat, are girls and boys are cruel in they’re desperate way of fitting in indeed its one of the only times where true individualism rings somewhat hollow.

As with men they find years later how petty, mean,idiotic they were.

So as to which of our species fem or men is superior/inferior of the other is really illogical because as if science and technology has its way both men and fem’s will make ourselves so redundant that may be artificial fem’s and men will take over real men and women as we continue stupidly argue who’s the best sex.

Women are as corruptible as men I say that knowing the pure human motive beyond sex roles.

Some women in power have shown it already through out time.

Ladies,look up your Herstory you already know His.

As for economics take whole chapter’s out of males books just add your own penmanship to it if you want change do what men do buckle down and get to work if men are stupid and can be controlled by our bio–physical urges then for Goddess sake use what you know to gain access and power then don’t be selfish with your sister’s and share it as men do when most aren’t looking.

All I see is male bashing jokes with no power behind it and though some women’s perfect men are gingerbread and snowmen there are many perfect men out there one may be for you and not others and there lies the answer,there are perfect men for those women who love what they have and stop trying to change what they have and for those who’ve found their mates don’t share secrets with your friends and family especially bedroom and the odd problem ones.

One thing about turning 50 its no in crowd worries, one can be him or her self without friends buzzing telling you what’s cool everyone can be cool as they want to be.

My odd little quest is seeing how long I can live in great health while delaying,slowing, stopping,and reversing my aging process that’s my personal adventure and it’s a multi disciplinary aspects before there was friends,school,limited travel,girls,women, bumming around in California,trade schools, surviving homelessness, more learning,political organization (not I) a fuzzed up,blurry future that has come into clear focus.

I do not know where life extensions road will lead may be a short one but if not let’s say I’ll be around choosing whatever it means to live in changing times.

One thing it will take long to find out is if inserting other species after getting them human compatible would be very interesting what our human imagination would come with.

I’m not completely void of happenings outside my personal sphere.

A great neighborhood beat cop both young folks and adults connected with is ambushed and killed of course ‘Thin Blue Line ranks close wanting justice on Officer Isaac Espinoza’s behalf his family and the force as a whole but the "2000 cops strong" attitude only means it was 2001 and going half cocked can whittle down their number one by one or in groups.

Death Penalty For Cop Killer’s is what Mr. Gary Delagnes,Police Union says he and the rank and file officers want.

A snag is D.A. Kamala Harris Ideologically opposed to capital punishment Harris has ruled out the death penalty for life with out parole for David Hall.

Police Chief Heather Fong is also want death for Davis,no revelation there.

Lots of innocent people have been railroaded and have been freed chemical death after being on death row for years that’s torture enough for years snatched away for fitting profiles.

Prosecutors and cops ego’s on the line bent on legal killing what they truly thought a guilty turns innocent.

All I say is if it’s a federal crime to kill law enforcement officer the same should be for "accidental, righteous shoots of citizen’s. Police face mostly deadly paperwork with high moments of excitement in the heat of car or on-foot hot pursuit of suspects.

If a cops life is worth an automatic death sentence then innocent lives taken should afford cops automatic trip to the death chamber without possibility of life behind bars.

Yeah, cops want know they are not beyond law, no freebie shooting at suspects with hands up weaponless,or suspicious looking objects such as wallets,pens,or deadly glowing cell phones. Folks it better to buy bullet proof vests that covers everything and have it light enough so you can run when weapons are aimed and shaking.

Target practice is normal in ghetto,barrios, reservation,there ‘po folks walking unarmed is like a free duck shoot to cops.

Its way past time to arm ourselves when law enforcement is literally the enemy! Learn gun safety,martial arts (you may have to register guns but keep unarmed combat to yourself it may save you if the psychological advantage is yours.

Police are enshrined gun toting legalized gangs with powers of life and death but as we’ve sadly seen even the good one fall because to harassed citizen’s are weary of all cops.

Until there are more humane instruction most interaction with police are potentially deadly the wild west,north,east,and south are still around only its wares gray,blue uniforms and see everyone outside of uniform as other,not them, in a us vs. them mentality.

Be careful folks they still play slave catcher even though slaves no longer exist in America.


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Snail or Email Joe at:

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San Francisco, CA 94102

Email: askjoe@poormagazine.org

by Tiny/PoorNewsNetwork

"NO Cuts to the poorest people in the State"....Their faces.. thousands of faces the color of wheat, chocolate, carmel and charcoal, a map of the earth etched into their determined gaze. Their Bodies, thousands of bodies; in wheelchairs, on canes, walkers and stretchers. Their voices; pleading, demanding, chanting and resisting, "No cuts to the in home support services program!!!!

"The governor with his extremely draconian budget cuts would force over 75, 000 senior citizens and disabled folks into nursing homes or even worse,... the streets" , Luis Calderon, from the In home Support SErives Public Authority of San Francisco spoke slowly into a microphone from his wheelchair to a crowd of over two thousand people of all ages, races,cultures and abilities gathered at a protest and rally on thursday at the State building in San Francisco, "these cuts will dramatically eliminate thousands of jobs that we desperately need in the state of California"

The black-grey sky above us shifted and rumbled with each one of Luis' tremulous words, "Even worse the governors' proposed cuts will cost taxpayers much more money , by forcing seniors and disabled folks into homes it will cost taxpayers 7 times more than the program we have now- Quality home care begins at home , but the governors cuts will eliminate decades of work that have enabled seniors and disabled folks to remain in their own homes - we are asking governors to work with the legislators to find another way.... no cuts to ihhs", his voice trailed off into a soft chant that gathered the people. The crowd swelled in sync with the turbulent sky..."NO cuts to IHHS" NO cuts To IHHS"

In 2000 Gray Davis and the state legislator allocated $100 million in matching funds to defray counties' program costs. That enabled several California counties to start paying a living wage to in home support service workers. In San Francisco workers started receiving 10.10 an hour with health and dental care, in other words this became a real job for low-income people. "I have been a San Francisco home care recipient for many years, in all those years i have had many providers, most of them didn't stay with me because they couldn't afford to," Jeannie Wong, an elder disabled woman addressed the crowd, "but since the county started providing a living wage and benefits i have been able to live independently and stay at home. She ended with a plea to Schwarzenegger "Cutting our home care program is not the right way to balance our budget - save the services that save lives"

In his 2004-05 Proposed budget, Schwarzenegger has decided to make a series of very harmful cuts to poor and disabled Californians. As well as eliminating home care services which include helping folks to doctors visits, bathing, cooking, shopping and other very necessary services which enable disabled folk to stay out of institutions, he also is attempting to get rid of the law that allows counties to pay union dues and is saying to counties - if you want to unionize your workers, go ahead, but the State will not help.

"People will die and i might be one of them", A tall distinguished African-American man began speaking to the increasingly hyper crowd, "My name is Charles Stone, I am the current chair of the Santa Cruz County commission on disability and the Santa Cruz public authority commission. Let's be clear, no rich people will die from these budget cuts, only the poorest and most needy. The first horror of these cuts is the elimination of the residual care program, if you or someone in your family is disabled the state will pay you to take care of them, Schwarzenegger wants to completely eliminate that program. Mr Stone went on to relate A University of California study recently revealed that the proposed cuts would actually cost more than they propose to save, i.e. the Medical program would end up paying $43,000 per person per year. He ended by pointing out that the basis of the cuts are to completely eliminate the Counties' "Public Authorities" i.e., the agency that administrates the in-home support service workers.

The faces drew together, filling the sidewalks, pouring into the streets, screaming into the liquid sky,"No Budget Cuts to IHHS.... KEEP our People Out of the institutions.. NO Budget Cuts to the poorest people in California"

by Joe B.

Chick/Lad Lit Ho Hum

I just heard on KNPR about Chick and Lad lit or literature of post liberated young women writing books one book to move was Bridget Jones Diary.

I don’t read to many works of fiction by women but as I heard on the radio women don’t read books about men,by men they like reading,seeing themselves in print form.

Photo’s of legs are popular too.

Hmmm,woman like leading about themselves more than men.

I always suspected that women are basically selfish and don’t like men prettier than them its too easy for them to say because a man is in the gorgeous category he could be gay or bi sexual instead of just a regular though gorgeously facially and physically gifted man.

Me,I not handsome guy but have learned to make up for it by being clean, wearing clean clothes.

I’m a nice looking with a constant clean shaven, clear eyed,walking heads up confident air.

That more a turn for some woman sneaking a look at me that I don’t realize it sometimes makes it paradoxically sexier to women.

Its like the man holding an infant bare of shirt warring jeans sitting bear foot on the floor.

He’s sexy because he shows caring for the infant or baby in his arms,those strong arms gentle,caring sent tingles through women conveying him as also in other situations gentle and protective of them most men when they hold any child have an automatic tendency to lower their guard psychically emoting to children and children respond they sense real from false.

I’ve been thinking of novel or series of different novels about different kinds of men, one man is sexually abused by an older sister, trapped in another world where his first introduction to said world is raped and tortured over and over until he’s almost driven mad but in this same place he’s the answer to a long awaited prophecy to be savior of that world and the fierce warrior women now love him and would gladly give there life for him as he’s proved he would for them in many an adventure.

Another guy out of work gets in and out of trouble propositioned both by men and women, young girls and moral dilemma’s they entail.

A children’s book about a not so old guy who’s a wily adventures through his inventions are funny and educational.

I don’t think I write lad or chick stories as much as fictional fun.

If women and men,boys,and girls,the middle age or senior set like them fine as for critics or arbitrators of the next big thing,phase, fad,or trend they may get confused about categorizing my work because I don’t know how my character’s in stories will react but one things for sure it won’t be PC.

I need more schooling obviously some women’s courses,but like the gym once I’m in and learning I’ll probably be ignoring those women who think its an estrogen only club I won’t have time to argue as I pound the books in library or on the net researching unerring truths about women’s psyche.

I notice if guys really isn’t seeing a woman when he finding out more about his own self worth they try to under-mind it actually begin throwing sex at him when before he was asking,begging and no was the answer I guess its about control,control in clubs/bars,control at parties,in arguments and the ultimate using sex.

If a man controls his sexual urges,can clearly look through subtle games men and women always play and knows life is short as is and games are distractions from what matters either living a single lifestyle or marriage with another of similar interests.

It means no more games even though women still make less than men economically you can at least live as long as they minus the socialized game where women don’t pay,for drinks,food,dance and actually have no-sex fun going from bar to bar giving out phone numbers kissing men,leaving men ‘uh blue.

I know men do it too but women do it in wolf packs of 2’s,4’s,or as many as 8.

They tell each other they’re all for pure fun just to feel pretty, adored,complimented,and in control.

Men are more solitary do so in small groups of 2’s,4’s,and 6.

We may do this for fun but we tire of it quickly going back female flesh I don’t know about our gay blade bro’s.

Women complain about societies backwards treatment ‘um aren’t they too part of society or is when its in their favor as in free drinks,food,car rides, its just find.

Yes, they didn’t make the law but the ones working for them they aren’t getting rid of are they?

So either Chick or Lad lit means little to me all I need is a few million readers who like my stuff, someone to make screenplays,or have it televised and whatever critics say I’ll boo hoo my way to the bank.

I never was in style so should I begin now I think that’s one of the reasons I’m still alive because I didn’t follow drugs,get lots of casual sex,or to many parties this has caused me to age slower, have a clear crisp gray matter,stay negative for aids virus.
I have to thank many a girl who turned me down I am alive and healthy because if them.

Now,being careful, wearing rubbers,yes-I feel less but can go longer it’s a trade off and life is better than sickness and death.

Literature depends or readers,publisher’s, proofreaders, and editors, and marketing.

So guys,girls,stop playing games be single, or married and girls, women,wimmin,wymyn, Grrrr’s,Goth Babes, Goddesses all stop making, leaving guys hot and heavy as fun its no fun for guys and the same goes for the guys especially the pretty ones already married who are the look-don’t-touch for women go back to your wife,stop agitating arguments and her suspicions think of how the cheater’s show busted hubby’s and wives two timing on their marriage.

Last thing,you lovely, sexy,alluring formally "Lipstick Lesbians" that can get/hook any straight guy then say "Oh,I’m sorry,I’m Lesbian."STOP THAT DECEITFUL CRAP."

Get back with your own lovers,leave straight guys for straight women same goes for straight women going after gay guys for the challenge you know you won’t change most of 'em guess its ego boosting.

I guess all the genders are angry at me well maybe you should talk among yourselves and stop playing games.

I’m not really angry at lesbians they’re more real and true friends in a fix.

Sorry straight gals that's the bottom line.

That’s it for now,PM’s moving again back to its origins on 255 9th Street on Mission in the old historic Local 6 Warehouse building (sorry) fems,because cost.

For now from this new space. br>

Donations C/0 Poor Magazine

1448 Pine Street #205

San Francisco,CA 94103

Snail or Email Joe at:

PO Box 1230 #204

Market St. 94102

San Francisco,CA 94102

Email: askjoe@poormagazine.org

by Pedro Pietri

They worked

They were always on time

They were never late

They never spoke back when they were insulted

They worked

They never took days off that were not on the calendar

They never went on strike without permission

They worked ten days a week and were only paid for five

They worked They worked

They worked and they died

They died broke

They died owing

They died never knowing

what the front entrance

of the first national city bank looks like

Juan

Miguel

Milagros

Olga

Manuel

All died yesterday today

and will die again tomorrow

passing their bill collectors

on to the next of kin

All died

waiting for the garden of eden

to open up again

under a new management

All died dreaming about america

waking them up in the middle of the night

screaming: Mira Mira

your name is on the winning lottery ticket

for one hundred thousand dollars

All died

hating the grocery stores

that sold them make-believe steak

and bullet-proof rice and beans

All died

waiting dreaming and hating

Dead Puerto Ricans

Who never knew they were Puerto Ricans

Who never took a coffee break

from the ten commandments

to KILL KILL KILL

the landlords of their cracked skulls

and communicate with their latino souls

Juan

Miguel

Milagros

Olga

Manuel

From the nervous breakdown streets

where the mice live like millionaires

and the people do not live at all

are dead and were never alive

Juan

died waiting for his number to hit

Miguel

died waiting for the welfare check

to come and go and come again

Milagros

died waiting for her ten children

to grow up and work so she could quit working

Olga died

waiting for a five dollar raise

Manuel died

waiting for his supervisor to drop dead

so he could get a promotion

Is a long ride

from Spanish Harlem

to long island cemetery

where they were buried

First the train

and then the bus

and the cold cuts for lunch

and the flowers

that will be stolen

when visiting hours are over

Is very expensive

Is very expensive

But they understand

Their parents understood

Is a long non-profit ride

from Spanish Harlem

to long~sland cemetery

Juan

Miguel

Milagros

Olga

Manuel

>All died yesterday today

and will die again tomorrow

Dreaming

Dreaming about queens

Clean-cut lily-white neighborhood

Puerto Ricanless scene

Thirty-thousand-dollar home

The first spics on the block

Proud to belong to a community

of gringos who want them lynched

Proud to be a long distance away

from the sacred phrase: Que Pasa

These dreams

These empty dreams

from the make-believe bedrooms

their parents left them

are the after-effects

of television programs

about the ideal

white american family

with black maids

and latino janitors

who are well train

to make everyone

and their bill collectors

laugh at them

and the people they represent

Juan

died dreaming about a new car

Miguel

died dreaming about new anti-poverty programs

Milagros

died dreaming about a trip to Puerto Rico

Olga

died dreaming about real jewelry

Manuel

died dreaming about the irish sweepstakes

They all died

like a hero sandwich dies

in the garment district

at twelve o'clock in the afternoon

social security number to ashes

union dues to dust

They knew

they were born to weep

and keep the morticians employed

as long as they pledge allegiance

to the flag that wants them destroyed

They saw their names listed

in the telephone directory of destruction

They were train to turn

the other cheek by newspapers

that mispelled mispronounced

and misunderstood their names

and celebrated when death came

and stole their final laundry ticket

They were born dead

and they died dead

Is time

to visit sister lopez again

the number one healer

and fortune card dealer

in Spanish Harlem

She can communicate

with your late relatives

for a reasonable fee

Good news is guaranteed

Rise Table Rise Table

death is not dumb and disable

Those who love you want to know

the correct number to play

Let them know this right away

Rise Table Rise Table

death is not dumb and disable

Now that your problems are over

and the world is off your shoulders

help those who you left behind

find financial peace of mind

Rise Table Rise Table

death is not dumb and disable

If the right number we hit

all our problems will split

and we will visit your grave

on every legal holiday

Those who love you want to know

the correct number to play

Let them know this right away

We know your spirit is able

Death is not dumb and disable

RISE TABLE RISE TABLE

Juan

Miguel

Milagros

Olga

Manuel

All died yesterday today

and will die again tomorrow

Hating fighting and stealing

broken windows from each other

Practicing a religion without a roof

The old testament

The new testament

according to the gospel

of the internal revenue

the judge and jury and executioner

protector and eternal bill collector

Secondhand shit for sale

Learn how to say Como Esta Usted

and you will make a fortune

They are dead

They are dead

and will not return from the dead

until they stop neglecting

the art of their dialogue

for broken english lessons

to impress the mister goldsteins

who keep them employed

as lavaplatos porters messenger boys

factory workers maids stock clerks

shipping clerks assistant mailroom

assistant, assisant assistant

to the assistant's assistant

assistant lavaplatos and automatic

artificial smiling doormen

for the lowest wages of the ages

and rages when you demand a raise

because is against the company policy

to promote SPICS SPICS SPICS

Juan

died hating Miguel because Miguel's

used car was in better running condition

than his used car

Miguel

died hating Milagros because Milagros

had a color television set

and he could not afford one yet

Milagros

died hating Olga because Olga

made five dollars more on the same job

Olga

died hating Manuel because Manuel

had hit the numbers more times

than she had hit the numbers

Manuel

died hating all of them

Juan

Miguel

Milagros

and Olga

because they all spoke broken english

more fluently than he did

And now they are together

in the main lobby of the void

Addicted to silence

Off limits to the wind

Confine to worm supremacy

in long island cemetery

This is the groovy hereafter

the protestant collection box

was talking so loud and proud about

Here lies Juan

Here lies Miguel

Here lies Milagros

Here lies Olga

Here lies Manuel

who died yesterday today

and will die again tomorrow

Always broke

Always owing

Never knowing

that they are beautiful people

Never knowing

the geography of their complexion

PUERTO RICO IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE

PUERTORRIQUENOS ARE A BEAUTIFUL RACE

If only they

had turned off the television

and tune into their own imaginations

If only they

had used the white supremacy bibles

for toilet paper purpose

and make their latino souls

the only religion of their race

If only they

had return to the definition of the sun

after the first mental snowstorm

on the summer of their senses

If only they

had kept their eyes open

at the funeral of their fellow employees

who came to this country to make a fortune

and were buried without underwears

Juan

Miguel

Milagros

Olga

Manuel

will right now be doing their own thing

where beautiful people sing

and dance and work together

where the wind is a stranger

to miserable weather conditions

where you do not need a dictionary

to communicate with your people

Aqui Se Habla Espanol all the time

Aqui you salute your flag first

Aqui there are no dial soap commericals

Aqui everybody smells good

Aqui tv dinners do not have a future

Aqui the men and women admire desire

and never get tired of each other

Aqui Que Paso Power is what's happening

Aqui to be called negrito

means to be called LOVE

by Joe B.

Bleary Brain Quest

Before starting here’s an announcement Want to learn the fine are of being a thespian (No,it has not a lesbian misspelled).

It’s a fancy word meaning actor or actress.

It’s a the b Training by Alice Rogoff, MA in Drama and MA in Creative Writing.

Beginning Wednesday, April 28,6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at 522 Valencia St. (between 16th and 17th St.) Sponsored by the San Francisco Living Wage Coalition.

For info call 415-863-5543 or email sflivingwage@hotmail.com.

On Saturday,May 1 (Sabado,1 de Mayo (2 p.m. to 5 p.m.

In the Woman’s Building /Edificio de Mujeres 3543 –18th Street(Valencia and Guerrero)

I wrote the above because someone asked of it like I’m always asking for money orders with money written on them and women in prison or out to write me or a send nice tasteful emails (mash notes)

Gotta try folks.

Last time I talked of a personal quest I have of living a very long, healthy life and being a fully functioning dirty old guy sleeping 22 or 25 years (these girls think their grown because they’re physically having "S" but that does not make them women or men earning experience.

First there is research and more of the same if I fail I’ll only know if not… well if I regain youth,hair,stronger, younger body plus have rejuvenating power as well then I know age stops or stopping my aging process in its tracks would really be an earth shattering feat maybe its Nobel prize material.

Like that song "When You Only Have A Hundred Years To Live."

I’m almost half way there so I better get to using whatever applied science before to prove I personally can beat chronology.

This is no going against God’s command if fact if we do have free will what’s one of the ways of testing it than testing the limits?

I sound like a complete idiot and fool but then again one never knows until they try so I’m going to do what I can the only danger I see is if I succeed and certain faiths,medical,or insurance even governments agencies would rather see me fail then actually prove that such a thing physically possible.

120 to 50 to around 200 years ought to prove the possibility then the whole world will tilt as scientists,researchers, biologists,physicist’s and folks in Gerontology start their test me and that could be my best contribution to People-kind longer, healthier lives because without life everything else we struggled,bled, and died for is worthless.

I may die of a heart attack, mugged,killed,run over by a car,or die in my sleep,or get taken out by a disease if none of those things happen and I’m around in 2154 looking remarkably young,healthy for 200 years you know it will cause a world wide furor.

But that’s not thing I’ll be doing life is full of risk so I will from time to time partake it them from flying/jumping out of planes,to surfing /wind,or para gliding.

I and others I don’t know men or women young middle age or old also may be practicing their own kind of life extension.

That’s my goal and if science over takes me and I have no need to do that great however we know how our governments work so if I want to live much longer I cannot trust it but must strike out on my own like most independent America until America government joins in the life extension/Immortality movement.

See some of you 200 years hence.


Donations C/0 Poor Magazine

1448 Pine Street #205

San Francisco,CA 94103

Snail or Email Joe at:

PO Box 1230 #204

Market St. 94102

San Francisco, CA 94102

Email: askjoe@poormagazine.org

by Leroy F. Moore Jr.

This is an incredible book!!!!! I found this book on
Christmas eve 2003 over the internet. BLACK and DEAF
in AMERICA: Are We that Different was first published
in 1984 by TJ Publishing Inc. What a Christmas
gift! As a Black disabled researcher and writer on
race and disability, I knew I needed to read this
book. What history and talents we have as Black
disabled people. BLACK and DEAF in AMERICA: Are We
That Different was written by two extraordinary Black
deaf leaders, advocates, professionals, artists and
educators: Ernest E. Hairston and Linwood Smith. I
can go on and on about the authors and their work.
Being a poet I was interested in finding more writings
by Mr. Smith. He was a poet. Black & Deaf in
America end with his poem entitled: The Way of A
Hand. After doing some research I found out he is the
author of Silence, Love and Kids I Know, a book of
poems about children he taught published in 1979. I'm
pulling my hair out trying to locate this book. If
anybody knows how, please drop me an email! In the
Memoriam at the end of the book by Ernest E. Hairston
to Linwood Smith who passed away on November 14, 1982,
made me feel like I knew Mr. Smith and shared his
dedication to Black disabled people and his love for
the arts, writing reading and children. This Memoriam
was written not from a pen by from the heart and I
felt every word.

I've to admit that I was a little bit jealous after I
read the last page of this book because this is the
kind of book that I talk about writing on Black
Disabled People in America. BLACK and DEAF in
AMERICA. has everything that I've dreamt about in a
book. Mixture of historical facts, which you won't
learn in American history or Black History, classes,
pictures of Black deaf people showing them in their
daily lives and a poem etc. Do you know the name of
the first Black deaf student to graduate from
Gallaudet College in Washington, DC? Most historians
will know about the famous protest at Gallaudet for a
deaf president but BLACK and DEAF in AMERICA lets the
cat out of the bag in writing about the long history
of not accepting Black deaf students. This book is
not afraid to put race in the reader's face with
chapter titles like Rehabilitation and the Black Deaf
Person and Black Signs etc.. What makes this book so
great is the mixture of historical facts like the
growth of Black Deaf Social Clubs i.e. The Washington
Silent Society that was established after WWII and
continue through the early 1950's because Black deaf
people were barred from joining and participating the
large white association.

The black and white pictures
that are sprinkled throughout the book points out racial
segregation in schools to the pride of Black deaf
people at the first Black Deaf Conference held at
Howard University on June 25-26, 1981 where I think
this book was birthed. It also has pictures of Black
Deaf youths that I just want to hang on my wall.
BLACK and DEAF in AMERICA can be held up next to the
almighty Reflection: Views of black disabled people on
their lives and community care published in the UK
1994. The only book at the time that talks truthfully
how race touches Black disabled people and it is also
written for and by the people.

Another reason why I
adore BLACK and DEAF in AMERICA. is because its in
the voice of advocates, the people who live the
experience and a seed in the community compared to the
recent push of the ivory walls or the medical system
speaking for the Black community. Have you heard of
Black Sign? Yes, this book trails the birth and death
of Black sign or what the author writes, "a Black way
of signing used by Black deaf people in their own
cultural milieu." Just like Black deaf social clubs
came to exist, Black sign blossomed because of the
same reason, societal attitudes and discriminating
policies.

BLACK and DEAF in AMERICA.. hits on reality in
today society facing Black deaf people. For example,
a lack of rehabilitation services that reach the Black
deaf community. One shocking quote both authors come
back to at the end of the book is "Hundreds of Black
deaf children have never had the opportunity to talk
with or met Black deaf adults during their informative
years." They say this case of a lack of visible role
models could and has drastic affect on a sense of
pride, self-esteem and strive to go on with their
dreams and goals in their lives. As a Black physically
disabled young man I can say I agree but very little
has change in this arena. When was the last time you
saw a Black disabled man or woman on television or in
the newspaper. Even during Black History Month we
are almost invisible! The Authors continues to hit it
on the nail.

The second to last section of the book continues to
share the pages with Black deaf artists, educators,
advocates, parents and trailblazers with interviews
and their pictures. Many became deaf later in life
and some were born deaf but all have beautiful stories
to tell. From the Father of Black deaf history as
many have called him, Dr. Andrew Foster, I found out
from this wonderful book, that he founded the
Christian Mission for Deaf Africans in 1956 and
traveled to West Africa to begin his missionary work
with the deaf etc. To Mary Cheese on page 63, who is a
mother in New York and President of the Imperials Club
for the Deaf and also serves as a "Mother Superior" to
many Black deaf youth and adults. Now that is what I
call diversity and breaking up the ivory walls to keep
it in the community.

The last chapter, Are We Really Different?, serves up
a plate of thoughts to chew on race, class,
unfavorable self-image etc. among Black deaf people
and how it plays out in their lives. On the last two
pages the authors are still firing raw questions that
keeps under theme of this book in your brain. They
asked a Black deaf teen how does being Black and hard
of hearing affect you socially, emotionally, or
otherwise. And her answer brings the theme of the
book to the surface once again and that is? "Doesn't
affect me at all no change. But if you ask me about
being Black, I can tell you ' cause I know we live in
a racist world." So therefore what is the answer to
the question, are we different? My answer is no there
is any difference except for our attitudes on race.
This book, BlACK and DEAF in AMERICA:: Are We that
Different is way overdue!! It records the separate
struggles, history, racial discrimination that Black
deaf people faced and how they continue to displayed
their talents, beauty, activism and art in this harsh
racist society we live by making windows to see
improvements for our youth. This book should be in
Black studies, mention during Black History Month and
on every selves of disabled, youth and people of color
non-profit organizations. I recommend it to all
advocates, Black families, teachers, social workers,
professors and others. A GREAT & REAL BOOK!

I like to thank T.J. PUBLISHERS, INC. for giving
this opportunity to read and write a review on this
amazing book. And thanks to the authors for taking
this bold step and telling it like it is!.

Leroy F. Moore Jr.
Black Disabled Revolutionary Poet\Activist
Sfdamo@Yahoo.com

by Joe B.

Memorial Day, Muses, &?
Between the lost generation or World War I and World War II where all people’s freedom literally hung in the balance was their sacrifice in vain? It seems so these days with church and state bound up in a dubious presidential victory, a vice prez with fingers in oil and other business interests or an Attorney General whose mindset stuck on 1950’s, 60’s, and ‘70’s radicals. Maybe I’m wrong on the religious zeal part. Since I’ve spoken on this before and had no break-ins, beat downs, or dire warnings over tapped telephone wires at least for now.
No! All the men, women, wounded, maimed in body or mind possibly both did not die in vain or I would not be able to utter what I’ve just said about three of the highest offices of this land! I hear of a debt that can never be paid to all the honored dead of past and present conflicts. But I’m sure having no more wars would be more than ease their wandering souls.
All I can do silently pray and live my own life to its full and I don’t mean foolishly like a flaring, flaming, meteor or star exploding its gasses in one burst of illuminating brilliance.
Before my fifth decade arrives I have had the honor and
Privileges of meeting two extraordinary people of the opposite sex one I her early 20’s the other in her late teens. At first I think of one as my muse (she inspired me to finish a book I’ve long worked on that still need to be polished). She’s the younger of the two. The other who as look back these few years have shown so much grace, dignity, intelligence, warmth, and friendship that I wonder if I deserved any light from their insightful, sensitive orbs. This indeed is one many freedoms those lives 60 years hence were not given up lightly for. And every time I ponder on applied sciences and its on going advancement it saddens me to think how many of those lost to us were budding researcher’s, scientists,artists, engineers,architects,it’s a further reason to honor and remember these fallen young men and women in all wars.

To Ms. Rosario and Isabel (Awfully sorry I missed your dancing on a float at Mission Street’s Carnival).
Ms. Villaluna, yes you are my 2nd. Muse though I didn’t realized it at the time. You helped me, with you patience even if sometimes you became exasperated, threatened me with a ‘um cut-off of to prized reproductive organs. Yes it was for an attempted kiss (I admit guilt) If I did not apologize then I do so now it was wrong but that’s how one evolves. Thank you for dancing lessons, clubs, and opening a heart while guarding your own. May both you and so many others who have visited P.M. Inc. themselves have wondrous, thrilling futures waiting for them to discover or rediscover.

And Ms. Estrada don’t be a stranger.

A question mark for myself reminded me of a milestone of sorts. It means nothing to youth or elders. Though for women turning 30, 40, or me (a male) is at once daunting and exhilarating aspects in that its supposedly a halfway mark in a males life. As with every thing else change is a constant, what once was in no longer as true? Because of my up bringing (no drinking until very recently, no drugs, less eating, constant moving about California until 1994. I have few bad habits. I don’t eat breakfast or lunch sometimes. Ms. Luna knows of this and in her culture eating is a sign of health, my not eating worries her which I never meant to do I guess I didn’t notice my drastic weight loss. She herself never seemed fat but a healthy full figured gal to me.(she hates the phrase it’s not politically correct or flattering to her). Well,after being in the Philippines,getting sick, meeting,befriending her cousins,visiting her ancestral home,the sun draining her of excess water she slimmed down a lot.

When she asked I never should’ve told her how ‘delish-a-dish she was but the truth was when a little heavy a very fetching young woman but after the slimming she is absolutely gorgeous petite grade A-female.
She had asked and asked and me being a honorable guy just let it all out "Mari, you’re a beautiful, even when you look bored from all the attention males give you – your model gorgeous-‘ Jeez." I was angry because she’s a good and loyal friend, saying how I felt may have overstepped boundaries, but she wanted a fair assessment from a male perspective. I told the truth as I saw it unflinchingly.

Unfortunately I’ve done same when all she needed was a shoulder to cry on and be on her side regardless of who’s right or wrong. I’ve failed many a time on that score siding with my brother’s finding its not worth hurting a friend. We men learn slow but we do learn it just takes us more time. Girls, Women, you know our brains aren’t as connected as your two halves are.

For my 50th birthday I do need to get a passport to Africa,Mecca, Switzerland,France,Nepal, India,Spain,China,England, Rio,Alaska,Rome,Italy, Japan,Mexico,or New Zealand,Austria,and Australia,Arabia,Egypt and anywhere else I haven’t mentioned.
Got to see this great land, go outside its limits,and above all be comfortable in my own skin again. I may renew and old dream of rediscovering the philosopher’s stone and all its many secrets like white gold and find out how far biofeedback can mind journey.

Of course the life extension, biotech, and soon nanotechnology too is all about us even if I have a math phobia now I can focus. Maybe I can finally read mysteries by female novelists, study Karma Sutra and other sexual esoteric studies for improved brain and body functioning and I only want to get Doorways-of-Perception high opening all my Godhead to full Illumination. I had many instructors in life didn’t realize many are younger than I. Maybe after my far flung journeys I’ll have a wife, children, a settled feeling of home.
If not its best to begin my personal quest as soon a possible
after all eternity waits.


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by Leroy Moore/Illin and Chillin

From Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Damon Wayans up
to Dave Chappelle, Black male comedians have given us
a belly full of laughs and brought out some serious
issues in their diverse characters they play dealing
with the Black community. Many are purely fictional
but the stories behind them and the new ground they
broke needs some attention. As a Black disabled
researcher, it hit me, all the male Black comedians
I've mentioned have used disabled characters in their
movies, on stage and on television series. Sometimes
especially, us, Americans, take things a little bite
too serious and can't laugh at our own selves. Yes, I
have to admit many of the characters these Black
comedians take on are not politically correct but damn
they are hella funny if you can laugh at yourself.
Lets go back to the controversial Steve Wonder act on
Saturday Night Live, SNL, by Eddie Murphy. I remember
the media outcry when Murphy did Stevie. When I watch
these old Saturday Night Live episodes, I'm on the
floor holding my gut watching Eddie Murphy rocking
back and forth almost falling off his stomp next to
the piano. I love Stevie but Eddie was so good in
this role. Lets stay with Eddie Murphy. Did his
early years on SNL give him the ideas of his later
disabled characters in Nutty Professor, Bowfinger and
his short lived animated family, The PJs. How did
he do his research in these characters? What about
the social environments surrounding these characters.

In PJs, that took place in an inner city housing
project had many disabled characters. Is this too far
fetch! It'd make you wonder about poverty and
disability in the Black community! Many people didn't
like the PJs but if we can have sitcoms like Friends,
Married With Children and these reality shows why
can't we have some real Black reality? However other
movies like Bowerfinger just plopped a disabled
character in the middle of the movie with very little
plot for just a few laughs.

Toward the end of the king of Black comedy,
Richard Pryor's career, he played a blind man in See
No Evil Hear No Evil. This was a great tag team movie
with his close friend, Gene Wilder. Although the
movie was hysterical it brings up a lot of issues we
face today i.e. how some like the law enforcement,
treat people who are blind and deaf. Although Pryor
and Wilder saw a murder took place nobody including
law enforcement would listen to them, thinking they
couldn't have any knowledge about the case. The issue
of race is another theme that came up in Seeing No
Evil Hearing No Evil. The question, can blind and
deaf people be racist especially when they have to
relay on each other for survival? I recommend you
check out this movie again and go beyond the jokes!
How can we forget all the hoopla when the Wayans'
Brothers came out with In Living Color. The disabled
community nailed Damon Wayans to the wall when he came
out with Handyman, a Black superhero with cerebral
Palsy. This character was hella funny especially when
you found out that Handyman was protecting the rights
of the disabled in his own way.

This was agroundbreaking way to see a Black man with Cerebral
Palsy. I have Cerebral Palsy and I almost bust my
head wide open when I saw Handyman for the first time.
I was also proud to see a Black show tackle this
issue. As many have found out that this character was
not a big stretch for Damon Wayans because of his own
disability. Damon was born with a clubfoot, wore
braces and endured many operations. He went on to
make the comedy Blankman in the mid-nineties, a
regular Black young man living in the inner city that
thinks he has super powers so he tries to save his
hood. In 1999 I was so much inspired by the character
of Handyman that I wrote my own fiction story
entitled: The Battle of the Century: Handyman vs.
Superman. The plot in this short story is two
disabled superheroes, one Black and other White are
called on to save the day.

Today the polite gloves are off with Dave Chappelle.
His first skit on his hot comedy show was
out-of-the-box about a Black blind KKK member. I know
this sounds almost impossible and I thought so too
until I read the background of this character named
Clayton Bigsby. Dave Chappelle in an interview said
Bigsby never knew he was Black. He was raised in an
all white orphanage for the Blind and doctors used to
tell him that everybody in the orphanage including
himself was white. What really sparked my interest is
how Clayton Bigsby came to life. Dave Chappelle's
said in the same interview that his father looks like
he is White but he continues to say he is Black. It
got so bad that during Martin Luther King Days Black
bus rider harassed him because they thought he was
White. So Bigsby goes around with his hood on
preaching how he hates niggers. I have to say Clayton
Bigsby has me on the floor. On a serious tip, it
also shows how hate can boil in anybody if the wrong
people have control over his or her environment. I
know someone will say Leroy how can you laugh at that?
My answer Chappelle is a comedian that deals with
Black issues and as a Black man I can strip away the
laughter and see the serious side of his characters
and I can also laugh at the seriousness of it too.
You have to admit, the examples above are damn funny!

I wonder where are all my Black women comedians
doing their jokes and characters that have
disabilities? It is good to laugh at yourself and it
is also good to have empowering serious roles for
disabled Black characters like movies such as Radio,
Bone Collector and The Water Dance to name a few.
Keep on laughing but also go deeper in these comedies
to sees the connection in today society on the big
screen. it is there!

by Staff Writer

The New Journalism/Poverty Studies Institute of POOR Magazine, one of the few training programs in the country specifically focused on studying, researching, investigating and doing media and art on the root causes of poverty and racism is offering its Summer session

Summer Classes offered;

1)Writing for Activism

2) Resistance Literature and Film

3)Basic Computer Skills -

4) Mentoring/Coaching for Activists

5) Poetry For Social Change

1) WRITING FOR ACTIVISM WORKSHOP

7 WEEKS

COST $85

TUESDAYS 7-930

LEARN TO WRITE FOR PUBLICATIONS IN ACTIVIST VENUES USING FIRST PERSON NARRATIVE AND OTHER CREATIVE WRITING TEQUINES AND ATTEND ANDPARTICIPATE IN ACTIVIST NEWS EVENTS

2) RESISTANCE LITERATURE AND FILM

DISCUSS AND WRITE ABOUT RESISTANCE LIT. AND FILM APPLYING KNOWLEDGE TO CURRENT MEDIA ACTION EVENTS

7 WEEKS

COST $60

THURSDAYS 7-930

3)BASIC COMPUTER SKILLS

EMAIL, WORD PROCESSING, INTERNET SEARCH…

7 WEEKS

COST $50

FRIDAYS 11-12’30

4) Mentoring/Coaching for Activists

SPECIAL ISSUES AROUND WORK AND LIFE
LIFE QUESTIONS (WHY ACTIVISM, WHY CARE )
HOW DO YOU BECOME INVOLVED?

7 WEEKS

COST $100

THURSDAY EVENINGS

5) Poetry and Spoken Word for Social Change

ACTIVISM IN SPOKEN WORD AND POETRY!!! Are you interested in writing poetry that examines social issues and calls for social change? We offer support and experienced critique in small group settings with poets from diverse backgrounds. We will help you develop your skills and your vision. If you’ve never written before, we’ll help get the words flowing. If you’re experienced, we can help you further develop your unique voice. Instructors include activists, published writers/poets and a psychotherapist. All ages, and levels are welcome!

Held at the Poverty Studies Institute at POOR Magazine
in San Francisco

7wks for $95.00

Tuesdays 5:30 -7:00 starting the first week of July Call (415) 863-6306 or email; deeandtiny@poormagazine.org to register-

Classes are facilitated by published media activists with 9 years experience in Bay Area independent media Guest Teachers and scholars at the institute are what POOR calls "poverty scholars" ie people who have experienced poverty and racism first-hand through experiences with homelessness, welfare, incarceration, systems abuse, disability, police harassment, etc.

Groups are small with supportive critique and analysis on students' work and learning process. Students will have opportunities to publish work in small press publications and independent on-line, print and broadcast media
To register call (415) 863-6306 or email; deeandtiny@poormagazine.org

The New Journalism/Poverty Studies Institute is an educational project of POOR Magazine, a grassroots, non-profit arts organization founded in 1996 by a previously homeless, currently at-risk, mother daughter team. POOR provides vocational training, creative arts and literacy education, and advocacy to very low and no income adults and children in the Bay Area, with the goal of deconstructing the margins of class and race oppression. POOR publishes several media projects including an on-line news-service PoorNewsNetwork/PNN dedicated to providing media on issues of poverty and racism, A KPFA radio broadcast of PNN, POOR Press/digital Resistance - a publishing and training project for poor youth and adults and The Po' Poets Project, a poetry and spoken word project.

by Steven Trainor/Special to PNN

Clusters. Sporadic segregation. Homes of deficient housing. Shambled
shacks and dying grass, when will our messiah come. The smooth kiss from
the spirit of the street as she hides behind the cast iron fencing.
Aggravated mugs glare endless into the mirror's of poverty as a mean to end
our woes.

Refusal, defiance. My brothers who tailor the sidewalks carry their burdens
as a smile of ease. Heat. Sweating hunches at the ghetto bower. Here is
the home of wreckage. This is the plan of finacial demise. Here within the
metal street signs and gang graffiti. Comal and Third.

Parks dazzled in Hollywood fashion as young African children stand staring,
wishing to grip their fingers around monkey bars. The camera's expose
stillness. Something unknown to the nature of the HOOD. Hands work
faculties of cleaning. Never gracing the simple pleasures in life. It is
here where we suture our wounds of poverty. A sense of brotherhood only the
projects know.

Sleek skin framed by black hair, catches my guards low. I wish to know her
flesh, she is aware and smiling. A daughter to the same pain as I.
Yearning to touch her skin. Wishing to examine her coils. For she is a
gift to these long drawn days. Sister to the street, mother of the future.

Windows heavily shaded as to not embrace violation. A standard
understanding, unperiled by strangers and residents alike. For he who
comes unknowing shall fall victim to the strife of the block which is
traveled.

Savage. Unrelenting. A constant state of constant awareness. Flowing
movement. Always alive. A place of weakness and strength. There is no
medium. It either is or it is not. There are nothing but crumbling homes
and broken dreams. And a place to rest your head. Comal and Third.

by Tiny and Linda William

The deep sounds of never ending, mind-numbing,headache generating traffic bombarded the weather-beaten glass of the 6 motel (not to be confused with the pricier Motel 6), as I sat with displacement survivor and former Valencia Gardens tenant Linda William.

Driving up highway 80 East I kept referring to my friend and fellow PNN writer's careful directions, " Its sort of near Vallejo" she had said quietly on the phone, the weight of her horrendous dilemma flooding her voice, " I couldn't actually afford a motel in Vallejo, they were too expensive and all the cheap ones were filled" , she concluded wearily

It had been almost two years since Linda took the "sweet deal" offerred by Housing Authority to move out of her long-time residence at Valencia Gardens in San Francisco, Valencia being one of many hundreds of public housing projects in the Bay Area and across the nation labeled "bad" and targeted for "redevelopment" which resulted in the massive displacement of low-income tenants from public housing to essentially "a piece of paper" i.e., these tenants were handed a section 8 voucher and alot of promises of available market rate or privately owned low-income housing projects but ended up, like Linda, homeless, or as those of us in the know say; public housing was better than no housing, "they gave me a section 8 certificate and said I could go anywhere with it, of course I had always had a dream of moving out of the city with my 2 kids and I thought this was my big chance"

As Linda spoke the hairs stood up on the back of my neck, I, too, was relying on a pending section 8 certificate to stabilize the ever unstable housing of myself, my mother and my 9 month old son, but from all the recent reports out of the Bush administration, this "stable housing" might remain a dream.

"So with that certificate I started the search for housing in Vallejo, Fairfield and Marin, "Linda continued her story unphased by my uh huhs and head nodding, "well whaddya know, I found closed wait lists on almost all the low-income housing units in all of those places and all the rest of the landlords wouldn't even return my calls when I told them I had section 8" As Linda continued to explain how she transferred her certificate to Alameda County hoping for better luck in Oakland, I remembered the hideously classist and racist experience of trying to find an apartment when I told landlords that I was on section 8, "Ohhhhh noooo, I don't think so" they would say, dreams of welfare moms dancing in their collective land-holding heads.

"Eventually, I found a place in the middle of so much gang-mess, that one of my babies almost got shot last month, so I gave up and moved to this motel and now my section 8 worker is telling me that it doesn't matter anyway, cause due to the Bush-inspired cuts they probably won't have any money left in the section 8 program to fund another apartment for me anyway…and I'll end up homeless….." her voice trailed off into sadness and the whoosh of the highway filled the rooms silence

Linda was referring to the very serious cuts that the Section 8 program is facing due to the Bush Adminstrations' cuts to the program of 1.6 billion causing places like New York city to lose millions of dollars for existing section 8 vouchers and Alameda County not having enough money in May to even cover the rents of vouchers already in use.

"and now I hear that people are being offerred more sweet deals by housing authority to move out of the Bayview so rich people like Newsom and his buddies can make big bucks redeveloping the Bayview…."Linda paused to hold back an onslaught of tears, " all I can say to those folks is; Don't be fooled.. Hold onto what you have… Valencia Gardens had its problems, but it was still my home…it was still housing…"

To tell your story of eviction or displacement call PNN at (415) 863-6306 , to get involved in fighting the redevelopment effort of the Bayview call Bianca Henry at Family rights and Dignity (415) 346-3740,

by Staff Writer

Muteado is a youth member at the Po' Poets Project.

"This book was created by the people for the people.

by Virginia Velez/Special to PNN

Before welfare de-form, I did all the right things to get out of poverty as a single mom. Luckily, I only have one child, a very rebellious, independent child. Anyway, I went to college when he was eight. It was the 80's and I worked part-time in the very university I was attending 22 hours a week so I could get health benefits for my child and I. It was a while before the financial aid folks noticed, then they forced me to give up my nice job on campus to take work-study for much less pay and no medical benefits, or I would lose my grants. Luckily, another single mom told me I could get AFDC, at least for Medicaid and food stamps, and I did. I did so well in that Washington state university that I got a fellowship to go to the most elite school in California.

I got there and my son and I immediately started going thru it. I had no shame about being poor, but for my adolescent child living in Palo Alto among the wealthiest people in the world, my condition became shameful. On top of that, I was suffering from depression after a while there. I've recently been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder from the domestic abuse I suffered with my son's father. I could tell back then that my child was turning against me for not having a man to take us out of poverty, as the fairy tales say. The school fellowship couldn't cover the really high rent because the university forced single moms to rent 2-bedrooms on campus even though other students without kids shared one-bedroom apartments on campus. I had to take out loans because I could only get food stamps and Medicaid with work study while I attended fancy-pants Stanford university. Of course, since Clinton, single moms can't even get that, so I was extremely lucky or I'd never have gone to college at all, but it was a struggle even BC (Before Clinton).

My son internalized all society's judgments, and he ran away at 13 and left my poor and blue behind for a brother on campus whom I had befriended primarily to be my son's 'big brother'. This very self-righteous man, who had a new red sporty car instead of a raggedy old station wagon like I had, very eagerly took my son in and immediately applied to be a foster parent, and here came the law. Dummy me called them to ask for a social worker or someone to help me get my son home and work things out. Yup, obviously Stanford had affected my good-South-Bronx-ghetto-child sense. To defend my actions, I'll say that I saw CPS in Seattle actually worked hard to reunite someone I knew who had a coke addiction and almost had her children molested by her boyfriend. I should also say that the main reason that CPS worked so hard to reunite that young mom with her kids was that the mom's sister, who took the kids in, was a lesbian! So yes, it was a stupid move, but I was desperate to get him brought back home, and I thought a runaway was treated as such and they would try to get him to stay home and do therapy, which they seem to do often enough for white single moms, from what I'd seen.

The police, CPS, social workers, all did absolutely nothing. They did not care that it was killing me that my child was with a single man. They did not care that never before had anything been held against me in my caring for my child, alone, for 13 years. They did not care I was sad and depressed from finances, and from having to be around the most selfish, ego-centric, richest and most messed up people in the world, while I worked my butt off in my studies and part-time work. They didn't care that I had never missed my son's ball games or concerts, that I begged and wheedled and finally scrounged up the dough for the child to have a clarinet because I had no credit and couldn't rent him one, that I'd made sure he never had a single cavity in his head, that I put him to bed every night whispering 'you're the best', that no matter how broke I was or how many student loans I had to take out, I kept quality fresh food and juices and never a soda in our refrigerator. They didn't care that my son had a perfect school record, had been in sports and music with only me there for him. They didn't care he was a runaway, so long as a man was willing to take him and help fund their foster care system. As Alexandra Finn wrote for your magazine in "The Big Business of Separating Families", 1/9/04, the system gets lots of dough to take our kids.

Ultimately, that man received more money as a foster dad than I ever would have if I had received AFDC cash aid. I informed AFDC as soon as my child left, and I became ineligible for healthcare or food stamps for myself. The man thankfully did not hurt my child, but he moved over 100 miles from me and then grossly neglected him. My child broke laws, got in trouble, got into gambling and drinking heavily while he was with that man, and I never heard a word about it, and the foster care system never called that man's ability to 'parent' my son into question. My child went from a lifelong honors student to almost not graduating. My child continued his foolishness in college and got in more legal trouble and lost his financial aid, got a record, ended up homeless for months, and is just now recovering from all that.

People get complacent when they have a little money, a little old job, a little bit of legitimacy and security. They, like I did for a hot minute, start thinking the system can actually help them, that they can actually control the system. I am here to tell you - never! Never, ever ask for help from any agency. It's completely pitiful for the moms and kids, but there is absolutely no institution you can trust for any help raising or just keeping your child. Churches can betray you, neighbors, family, friends. Everyone thinks they can do a better job raising your child than your poor butt can, no matter how long you've been doing it and doing it well. I was in the most posh and ultimately worthless university in the west, but I was still poor, a woman of color, and a single mom, and depressed, so in their eyes I was a lousy mother.

You have to pick who you can trust extremely carefully, and stick with folks who truly care about your struggle or hush up! You should never do anything - no partying, no showing any weakness - that can make you fit into their bad-parent label with people you can't trust.

When you feel worn out and blue, only the most trustworthy person can be called upon. Usually this'll be another single mom, or like me, I found a former -foster-child-now-mother at Stanford who I could trust who had been screwed by the system. She saved me from completely losing my mind when I lost my child, and would not let me blame myself though I felt like I'd failed the most important, vital responsibility in my life.

My kid and I are very close now. He's doing lots better, he's a young man and I pray for his maturity and sense of responsibility to settle better in him. When his past caught up with him and he was arrested for failing to appear at hearings for getting busted in college right after he left that man, I called that man who kept pretending my son's future mattered to him, who got paid to take care of him more than a real mother ever would get paid, and he put up not one dime to get him out, though my son had been working and racial profiled when he was stopped and the warrant came up; he had not even gotten into new trouble. I paid my son's bail when he got in trouble because I was working and had credit (now I'm disabled, can't pay it back, and have no income or credit). I helped him get through diversion to clear his record, set him up in my living room until he had work and could pay his way. So, you see how jive people are who say they only have your child's welfare at heart? That damn man has half my student loans and half my lifetime expenses for just necessities and twice my income and 20 times my family support, but he had not one red cent for my son in trouble, and no follow-through to see how he is.

From what I went through, I recommend you single moms gather onto yourselves (before there's trouble, not after!):

1. one good reliable trustworthy single mom friend who is not judgmental and doesn't think CPS is there to help

2. one pro-single-moms therapist to support you if anyone challenges your ability to raise your child, and

3. one pro-single-moms lawyer friend who will fight for you and your kids like a lion.

Bless you powerful struggling women and your children. May you be blessed with friends you can trust if you have no family to rely on.