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by Joe B.
Memorial Day, Muses, &?
Between the lost generation or World War I and World War II where all people’s freedom literally hung in the balance was their sacrifice in vain? It seems so these days with church and state bound up in a dubious presidential victory, a vice prez with fingers in oil and other business interests or an Attorney General whose mindset stuck on 1950’s, 60’s, and ‘70’s radicals. Maybe I’m wrong on the religious zeal part. Since I’ve spoken on this before and had no break-ins, beat downs, or dire warnings over tapped telephone wires at least for now.
No! All the men, women, wounded, maimed in body or mind possibly both did not die in vain or I would not be able to utter what I’ve just said about three of the highest offices of this land! I hear of a debt that can never be paid to all the honored dead of past and present conflicts. But I’m sure having no more wars would be more than ease their wandering souls.
All I can do silently pray and live my own life to its full and I don’t mean foolishly like a flaring, flaming, meteor or star exploding its gasses in one burst of illuminating brilliance.
Before my fifth decade arrives I have had the honor and
Privileges of meeting two extraordinary people of the opposite sex one I her early 20’s the other in her late teens. At first I think of one as my muse (she inspired me to finish a book I’ve long worked on that still need to be polished). She’s the younger of the two. The other who as look back these few years have shown so much grace, dignity, intelligence, warmth, and friendship that I wonder if I deserved any light from their insightful, sensitive orbs. This indeed is one many freedoms those lives 60 years hence were not given up lightly for. And every time I ponder on applied sciences and its on going advancement it saddens me to think how many of those lost to us were budding researcher’s, scientists,artists, engineers,architects,it’s a further reason to honor and remember these fallen young men and women in all wars.
To Ms. Rosario and Isabel (Awfully sorry I missed your dancing on a float at Mission Street’s Carnival).
Ms. Villaluna, yes you are my 2nd. Muse though I didn’t realized it at the time. You helped me, with you patience even if sometimes you became exasperated, threatened me with a ‘um cut-off of to prized reproductive organs. Yes it was for an attempted kiss (I admit guilt) If I did not apologize then I do so now it was wrong but that’s how one evolves. Thank you for dancing lessons, clubs, and opening a heart while guarding your own. May both you and so many others who have visited P.M. Inc. themselves have wondrous, thrilling futures waiting for them to discover or rediscover.
And Ms. Estrada don’t be a stranger.
A question mark for myself reminded me of a milestone of sorts. It means nothing to youth or elders. Though for women turning 30, 40, or me (a male) is at once daunting and exhilarating aspects in that its supposedly a halfway mark in a males life. As with every thing else change is a constant, what once was in no longer as true? Because of my up bringing (no drinking until very recently, no drugs, less eating, constant moving about California until 1994. I have few bad habits. I don’t eat breakfast or lunch sometimes. Ms. Luna knows of this and in her culture eating is a sign of health, my not eating worries her which I never meant to do I guess I didn’t notice my drastic weight loss. She herself never seemed fat but a healthy full figured gal to me.(she hates the phrase it’s not politically correct or flattering to her). Well,after being in the Philippines,getting sick, meeting,befriending her cousins,visiting her ancestral home,the sun draining her of excess water she slimmed down a lot.
When she asked I never should’ve told her how ‘delish-a-dish she was but the truth was when a little heavy a very fetching young woman but after the slimming she is absolutely gorgeous petite grade A-female.
She had asked and asked and me being a honorable guy just let it all out "Mari, you’re a beautiful, even when you look bored from all the attention males give you – your model gorgeous-‘ Jeez." I was angry because she’s a good and loyal friend, saying how I felt may have overstepped boundaries, but she wanted a fair assessment from a male perspective. I told the truth as I saw it unflinchingly.
Unfortunately I’ve done same when all she needed was a shoulder to cry on and be on her side regardless of who’s right or wrong. I’ve failed many a time on that score siding with my brother’s finding its not worth hurting a friend. We men learn slow but we do learn it just takes us more time. Girls, Women, you know our brains aren’t as connected as your two halves are.
For my 50th birthday I do need to get a passport to Africa,Mecca, Switzerland,France,Nepal, India,Spain,China,England, Rio,Alaska,Rome,Italy, Japan,Mexico,or New Zealand,Austria,and Australia,Arabia,Egypt and anywhere else I haven’t mentioned.
Got to see this great land, go outside its limits,and above all be comfortable in my own skin again. I may renew and old dream of rediscovering the philosopher’s stone and all its many secrets like white gold and find out how far biofeedback can mind journey.
Of course the life extension, biotech, and soon nanotechnology too is all about us even if I have a math phobia now I can focus. Maybe I can finally read mysteries by female novelists, study Karma Sutra and other sexual esoteric studies for improved brain and body functioning and I only want to get Doorways-of-Perception high opening all my Godhead to full Illumination. I had many instructors in life didn’t realize many are younger than I. Maybe after my far flung journeys I’ll have a wife, children, a settled feeling of home.
If not its best to begin my personal quest as soon a possible
after all eternity waits.
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