Story Archives

by Angela Pena, Patricia Morales, Gloria Esteva/Prensa POBRE

For English, scroll down

Por Patricia Morales

Mi nombre es Patricia y soy reportera con la revista POBRE y creo que hay muchas injusticias en este pas. Uno cual es la guerra en Iraq. No creo que es correcto que los Estados Unidos ordene la matanza de tanta gente, muchas de quienes son gente totalmente inocente, como los ninos. Para demostrar mi oposición a la guerra, el jueves atendí a la protesta anti-guerra en San Francisco.

Allí realicé que hay mucha gente que no están de acuerdo con la guerra y, al contrario, quisieran que las tropas regresen a casa y paren el derramar de más sangre inocente. Estaba muy contenta ver a tanta gente en la marcha. Había cerca de 10.000 personas protestando en contra la guerra. Muchos llevaban las fotos de parientes que habían sido matados o luchaban en la guerra. Me sorprendió ver a tantos policías muchos presentes para mantener la paz. Espero que estas marchas ayuden a poner un fin a la guerra para que las tropas puedan venir a casa. ...............................................

Por Gloria Esteva

La guerra en Iraq es una oportunidad de segar la abundancia que los trabajadores producen. En este país tenemos muchos problemas que necesiten ser solucionados. Creo que en vez de usar la energía de nuestra comunidad para luchar en la guerra en Iraq, podríamos utilizar esa energía para construir y para organizar mejor la abundancia de este país, a donde tanta gente ha tenido que venir trabajar y vivir. Esta gente ha tenido que huir el mismo sistema de represión aquí tal como en sus propios países. Debemos de parar esta represión y estas infiltraciones y no producir más guerras en el mundo. Todavía tenemos tiempo para cambiar, defender la vida, creatividad y reconstruir el mundo. Por que si continuamos a permitir esta guerra injusta en Iraq, enfrentaremos a consecuencias graves. ...............................................

Por Angela Pena

Soy una mujer inmigrante, activista, colaborador de las causas nobles y reportera para la revista POBRE. Creo que la guerra en Iraq ha traído muchas desventajas a este país y ha debilitado grandemente la economía. Hay mucha gente que se opone a la guerra y para expresar sus emociones al gobierno ellas protestan y marchan juntas. Éste es el quinto año de esta guerra despiadada, así es que gente a través del país están recolectando para marchar contra esta guerra injusta.

Por la tarde alrededor de la 5:00 P.M. en la plaza de la NU. y el centro cívico de San Francisco el jueves, 19 de marzo, diez milésimos de gente se recolectó para protestar la guerra en Iraq. La gente llevaba muestras que expresaban sus opiniones. Las muestras leían, “No queremos que la guerra continué�? y “No deseamos la muerte de la gente inocente.�? Una coalición de organizaciones esta presente y la voz del pueblo se oiga. Aunque hay mucha policía deteniendo a gente, no intimidan a los manifestantes.

Creo que si el gobierno tomara el consejo del pueblo esta guerra terminaría. La gente está llamando para que paren el abuso mundial contra las familias.

By Patricia Morales

My name is Patricia and I am reporter with POOR Magazine and I believe that there are many injustices in this country. One of which is the war in Iraq. I do not believe that it is right for the United States to order the killing of so many people, many of whom are entirely innocent people, such as children. To show my opposition to the war, I attended the anti-war protest Thursday in San Francisco.

There I realized that there are a lot of people who are not in agreement with the war and instead want the troops to come home and to stop the shedding of more innocent blood. I was very pleased to see so many people in the march. There were about 10,000 people protesting against the war. Many were carrying the photos of relatives who had been killed or were fighting in the war. I was surprised to see so many police officers present to “keep the peace.�? I hope that these marches help to put an end to the war so the troops can come home. ...............................................

By Gloria Esteva

The War in Iraq is an opportunity to reap the wealth that workers produce. In this country we have many problems that need to be solved. I believe that instead of using our community's energy to fight the war in Iraq, we could use that energy to build and better organize the wealth of this country, where so many people have had to come to work and live. These people have been forced to flee the same system of repression here as in their own countries. We must stop this repression and these infiltrations and produce no more wars in the world. We still have time to change, to defend life, creativity and reconstruct the world. For if we continue to allow this unjust war in Iraq, we will face grave consequences. ...............................................

By Angela Pena

I am an immigrant woman, activist, collaborator of noble causes and reporter for POOR Magazine. I believe that the war in Iraq has brought many disadvantages to this country and has greatly weakened the economy. There are many people who are opposed to the war and to express their emotions to the government they protest and march together. This is the fifth year of this ruthless war, so people all across the country are gathering to march against this unjust war.

In the evening around 5:00 p.m. in the UN Plaza and Civic Center of San Francisco on Thursday March 19th, ten thousand people gathered to protest the war in Iraq. The people carried signs expressing their opinions. The signs read, "We do not want the war to continue" and "we do not want the death of innocent people." A coalition of organizations is present and the voice of the people is heard. Although there are many police officers present arresting people, the protesters are not intimidated.

I believe that if the government took the peoples' advice this war would be over. The people are calling for the abuse against families worldwide to stop.

by Michelle Williams/PoorNewsNetwork

"What now?" I thought. I was getting three to four calls a month from the school my youngest son attended. Ricky was talking in class, him and another student were playing around or having some words. Rickey was late to class. It was always something, no matter how small, I always seemed to receive a phone call. The calls would inevitably lead to suspensions of my son from school. I always felt that many of these situations could have been dealt with another way.

After doing some research online I found the series of Racial Justice Report Cards on education policy-makers released by Justice Matters, a non-profit policy institute that addresses inequity in education. After reviewing the report cards I started recognizing that these calls and suspensions stemmed from an institutionalized practice of targeting children of color in our education system.

The Racial Justice Report Cards, which include a grade on the Governors council on education excellence and the state superintendent of instruction's recommendations, critique the current polices and how these policies are not addressing the racism that exists in our schools.

"Our future success requires us to close the achievement gap that exists between our white students and our students of color, as well as gaps with our English learners, poor students, and students with disabilities," said State Superintendent of Instruction Jack O'Connell in a recent address on the state of education in California. O'Connell's recommendations received a C- report card.

O'Connell's words struck a chord in me considering that my son and most of the kids of color at the school he used to attend, were racially targeted and ultimately were deprived of their education.

At El Camino High School where my sone attended school, there were no African-American teachers that I was aware of. Many educators fail to address the importance of cultural understanding and their students' backgrounds. Discrimination against students of color as well as a lack of cultural awareness set up a pattern of failure. As Justice Matters says, "Until we develop an accountability system that measures student learning in ways that support high quality teaching methods that are effective with students of color, we limit how far we can go in building a racially just school system."

In the Justice Matters Report Cards they specifically cite the lack of recruitment of teachers from demographic backgrounds that reflect the diversity of their students community. Had this recruitment existed and had there been teachers of color I’m quite sure most these calls and suspensions would not have been made and that my son would have been dealt with differently.

Every call I received from the school I looked on not as a sign of the school's concern for my son’s education but only to further remove him from being a successful student. These calls made to myself and other parents were recorded in the students' files. As this continued to happen, I became uncomfortable with my son being there. Sadly I expected and waited for the next ring to come. What would be next, a suspension for disrupting the class, a dispute gone bad, police intervention of some kind or an expulsion from high school that might totally ruin his chances of later attending college if he chose to.

I can say honestly that I am not the kind of person who upholds wrong doing of any sort but I know my son and I know that he has no been doing nothing more or less like the average teenager who needs to be acknowledged by his peers. The schools say they have a zero tolerance policy but tell me who can walk a straight and narrow path without trial and error. This is unrealistic for anyone, let alone children who are still growing and learning. What has happened to the school districts, our children's home away from home?

Perhaps our local and state education policy makers need to read their report cards and institute racially just education policies for students of color and their families in California.

To view all of the Racial Justice Report Cards on Education Policy-Makers released by Justice Matters go on-line to www.justicematters.org

Michele Williams, a Parent,Race and Disability Scholar, just graduated from POOR Magazine's Race, Poverty and Media Justice Institute's Poverty Scholars in Media Program and will graduate from Skyline College this year with an AA degree

Her 27 year old son graduated high school and is working in real estate and her 17 year old son is graduating in June from Independence High. He has been able to excel in the independent study model of education.

by Yolanda Neals/The Micah Project

From: http://stopblackinjustice.blogspot.com/

On or about December 27, 2007 at Battle Creek Central Field house, 19 yr old African-American paralyzed male named Dawan Gordon was attending a basketball game. Gordon, a Battle Creek, Michigan resident, was paralyzed after being shot twice in his back in April of 2006. At this holiday basketball tournament in Battle Creek Gordon was given permission by Michael Whittaker, a security guard at the game, to stand on or by the players on courtside as a result of his disability. Officer Hancock of the Battle Creek Police Department approached Gordon and others and told them to move or leave. Gordon told the officer he had security permission to stand there because of his disability. The officer insisted that Gordon either move or leave. Gordon told the officer that he would leave. Gordon started walking away on crutches complaining about the officer's insensitivity. He requested the officer get the handicap lift. The officer grabbed Gordon causing Gordon's crutches to fall. Gordon informed the officer that he could not walk. Gordon alleges that Hancock arrested him for exercising his federally protected right to free speech.

Gordon grabbed the rail with both hands to keep from falling due to the fact that he has no lower body support from his legs. Officer Hancock grabbed Gordon's right arm and handcuffed him all the while complaining to Gordon to quit resisting. Gordon responded to Officer Hancock that he was not resisting but trying to keep from falling. Hancock ordered Gordon to "let go or I will mace you. Stop resisting." Gordon scared of being maced, let go of the rail and gave his left hand to Officer Hancock which caused Gordon's body to fall forward. Security guard Whittaker arrived to catch Gordon from falling to the ground. Whittaker told Officer Hancock Gordon could not walk. Gordon asked Officer Hancock to provide him with the handicap lift once again and Hancock refused. Officer Hancock then proceeded to drag Gordon down the set of stairs. Gordon saw Mrs. Stephanie Moore (who is a young African-American female City Commissioner in the neighboring city of Kalamazoo, Michigan) at the bottom of the stairs with her cell phone. Gordon asked Moore to video the incident. At the time Gordon ran into Moore both his hands were already in handcuffs and he was being dragged away by the officer. Officer Hancock dragged Gordon by his arms down a flight of stairs with Gordon's legs falling behind him lifelessly hitting every step. Gordon told the officer that he still had a bullet in his back and that the officer's actions might cause the bullet to move.

Gordon was not taken to the hospital while he was in police custody even though he was in excruciating pain. Gordon went to the hospital after he was released from jail. Gordon's back was injured and aggravated during the incident as a result of being dragged down the stairs by the officer. Gordon indicated that he could not believe what was happening to him and did not know why the officer arrested him. He was complying with the officer's request to move or leave the basketball game and Gordon had decided to leave.

Officer Hancock dragged Gordon outside to his squad car. He ordered Gordon to stand so that Gordon could be searched. Gordon told the officer he could not stand because he was paralyzed. The officer stood Gordon up against the police car and kept insisting, "stand yo ass up," which caused Gordon to fall harshly to the ground and sustain further injury to his back. Hancock picked Gordon up and placed Gordon in the police car. Gordon was told he was under arrest for resisting arrest and for being loud and boisterous and for yelling at the officer -- telling him that he could not walk. Someone brought Gordon's crutches to the police car. Hancock placed the crutches in the trunk. In the police car Officer Hancock apologetically told Gordon he thought Gordon was, "bullshitting him because he get's bullshitted everyday," regarding Gordon’s claim that he could not stand up or walk. Gordon was taken to jail and he was booked and placed into custody overnight until he was arraigned the next day. Gordon got out of jail on bond and went to the hospital to be treated for the injuries he sustained.

A witch hunt has ensued over Kalamazoo City Commissioner Stephanie Moore who did in fact video tape this incident and has since been brought up on felony charges of resisting, obstructing, and interfering during this excessive and abusive arrest of Dawan Gordon. Click on this link to learn more about how Commissioner Moore has come under severe attack in both Kalamazoo and Battle Creek, Michigan for being concerned about the abuse she witness this young black male endure at the hands of a police officer.
http://www.generalpopulation.org/index.cfm?CFID=76679041&CFTOKEN=18645355 - A young black male in Detroit has created a website and rap song detailing the obvious retaliation against Kalamazoo Commissioner Stephanie Moore. Mrs. Moore has received very racially driven death threats and everything since her involvement of witnessing this arrest was made public.

Please help us find good legal representation for this disabled young black male as well as national exposure for what is going on in the Battle Creek and Kalamazoo, Michigan area. Kalamazoo City Commissioner Stephanie Moore recently participated in a "Know Your Rights" forum. She was approached by police in Battle Creek Michigan on Monday, February 25, 2008 at Macedonia Baptist Church at 5:30pm. She is under attack because she cares about serving and educating the urban community.

Continued blessings,

Yolanda Neals

The Micah Project

The Micah Project (TMP) was formed under the inspiration of the Prophet Micah in his charge that we are to love mercy, seek justice, and walk humbly with our God. (Micah 6:8).

The Micah Project will walk with man before God to seek justice. Providing support services to individuals seeking justice when their civil rights have been violated.

by Joseph Bolden

Stinkin'& Sneaky 98 or Or Rich Measure Move-Out


"We Want All You ‘Po, workin’class,single mother/father family and single’s out-a-here."

They, Proposition 98 sounds, feels like to me.

Myself and many more deserving than I were recently honored last week while this crock-a-crud like some gaseous manure stew simmers,boils,is stirred up until the aroma stinks to hi heaven.

This is what is known about Prop. 98 Called devastating one-two punch for renters.
Besides ending rent control, it also ends "just cause" eviction protections, including prohibitions on eviction senior & disabled tenants.

Landlords will be able to evict tenants just so they can raise the rent. Prop 98 also ends affordable housing requirements for developers and many environmental protections, including habitat & wetlands preservation laws. That’s 98.

Now to Prop. 99 It will save rent control.

It is simple eminent domain reform, without, any hidden agenda.

It prohibits taking someone’s home via eminent domain and transferring it to a private developer.

Plus it contains language which will reverse Prop 98’s attack on rent control, renters, senior and the environment.

A Yes on 99 couldn’t hurt will help
(Most of the above info gleaned from printed flyer handouts waring people of what to expect in a few months.)

How do I know all this fascinating political stuff?

I help canvass a neighborhood of a former employer.

[Its Friday, just got tell Joe column back online, called

Dan –The-Man-Web-Wizard

hold up in a some secret lair working online miracles after I accidentally sent my site into "Where The Frak Is It Land"

I call Dan, thanked him profusely promising him never to delete or hide anything ever again!

In Poor Magazine’s peopled space ready to go home for bed Tiny intrepid, former co owner, now owner, published author of
"CRIMINAL of POVERTY(GROWING UP HOMELESS IN AMERICA)

She before leaving "Joe, Saturday, 10 to 11am. Canvassing for prop 98." I in my fading ZZZZZ half rem dream state said yes will be there, even set my alarm watch (dislike when I do that) so as not to be early.
(I’ve been known to flake also known as a flake)

I get there meet folks, Bruce is there to help me.

Later I find out Bruce left for home because of a bad back so in this rare instance there is no getting lost or being late.

All I can say Transplanted S.F.(ians) and S.F. born residents please be out, spread the word from now until June 3, voting day to defeat prop. 98 and get 99 passed.

Look what rent control looks like now and what will surely happen once its lost forever.

The Spawns of Loki work hard to get PROPOSITION 98 PASSED AS LAW.

Let’s not take this up our (*&(*$#@!!) without a fight.

For info www.saverentcontrol.net or email saverentcontrol@sftu.org or call (415) 282-5525

I’ve done my bit now the rest is up to you.

This is Dire, San Franciscans!! GET MOTIVATED AND MOBLLIZED
YOU’VE BEEN WARNED ! ! ! !

by Staff Writer

Upcoming Presentations/Workshops

Challenging Academia, Media and Research: A Presentation by Tiny from the Race, Poverty and Media Justice Institute

Where: Welfare and Poverty Policy Class at the University of San Francisco

When: April 8th 3:30-4:45 p.m.

Challenging Academia, Media and Research: A Presentation by Tiny from the Race, Poverty and Media Justice Institute

Where: Journalism class at UC Berkeley

When: April 16th 4:00-5:00 p.m.

Upcoming Keynote Speeches

Youth Rights Conference 2008: Education is Our Liberation

Where: UC Berkeley Martin Luther King Student Union Building, Pauley Ballroom

When: April 9th 9:50-10:05

Past Workshops/Presentations

Whose Poverty? Whose Crime? Unlocking the Criminalization of Poverty

A Symposium at UC Berkeley Featuring POOR Magazine’s race, poverty and disability scholars on the following panels and strategy sessions:

Challenging Academia, Media and Research: A Panel

Facilitators: race, poverty and disability scholars Leroy Moore and Tiny Gray-Garcia

Strategy Session: Criminalization of Poor Women and Families

Co-Facilitated by race and poverty scholar Vivian Hain

Strategy Session: Housing and Homelessness

Co-Facilitated by race and poverty scholar Jewn Strohlin

Strategy Session: Race and Disability in the Media

Co-Facilitated by race, poverty and disability scholar Leroy Moore

welfareQUEENS cultural arts performance

Featuring poverty scholars, Jewn Strohlin, Tiny Gray-Garcia, Vivian Hain, Dharma Ross, Laure McElroy and Tracey Faulkner

Case Management vs. Real Service Provision: A Presentation by the Race, Poverty and Media Justice Institute

Facilitators: race and poverty scholars Tiny Gray-Garcia and Vivian Hain, race, poverty and disability scholar Leroy Moore, poverty and youth scholar Jasmine Hain

Event: McKinney-Vento Homeless Education Program

When: April 3rd 9:30-11:30 a.m.

Where: Alameda Unified School District Administrative Offices

Past Keynote Speeches

7th Annual Local to Global Justice Teach-In: Turning Walls Into Bridges

Where: Arizona State University Tempe, AZ

When: March 1-2

by Vivian Hain/PNN

Why our neighborhood hospital? Why is St. Luke's Hospital, one of the most desperately needed hospitals in San Francisco's Mission District being threatened with closure? Why? Is it because it is located in a community of color, where many working-class poor, low and no income people like me and my family live? Are we not equally valued as human beings? What is going on San Francisco?

Well... I can say this. If it wasn't for St. Luke's being where it is, I wouldn't be alive today. In 1968, at the tender age of two, I had a near fatal accident which almost killed me. I fell from a second-story back porch of a flat where we lived on Valencia Street. On that day, I was told by my dad, who had just started a new labor job at $3.25 an hour, after coming home tired, that he went out the back door of the flat down to a small concrete space in the backyard to empty the garbage. That was when my older brother who was 3 1/2 years old and myself 2 years old, both followed behind my dad as he struggled out of the backdoor, carrying a large trash bag. As I walked out on to the back porch area, I lost my balance, rolled underneath the bannister and fell two stories head first on to that small concrete space below.

My poor father had only seconds to spare, as he turned around while emptying the garbage just to helplessly see me fall, as the right side of my head smashed into the concrete, where I lay unconscious like a little broken doll. Frantically, my dad ran over to me, wrapped his flannel shirt around my small broken head while simultaneously swooping up my older brother in his other arm and ran back up the stairs to fetch my mom, who at the time was downstairs in the laundromat below our flat. I remember my dad telling me that he ran into the laundromat, grabbed my mom by her arm, then they ran to their car, an older model blue Ford wagon, driving me in less than five minutes through the Valencia Street traffic and several red lights to St. Luke's Hospital in a vain effort to save my life. I was unconscious and I was dying...

When they arrived at St. Luke's, the hospital staff immediately took me to the back for emergency surgery. I was in critical condition and still unconscious. The doctors were not sure if they could save my life, because by this time, my brain had began to swell, causing fluid build up, which became life threatening. I also remember my mom telling me that my Grandma Rosaria came to the hospital with her sister, my Aunt Mona, who brought with her a Preist to give me my death rites, as things were looking very grim. It was the 1960s and surgical technology had not been developed like today, so St. Luke's Hospital could only guarantee their best efforts to save my life, which they did in every way possible. My dad also told me that the hospital staff told him that had they not arrived to the hospital within the short time that they did with me, I would of surely not had survived.

I think about this today and how the distance factor was the thin line between whether I had lived that day or not. I think about all of the countless people in the Mission District of San Francisco, many who are somewhat isolated by their economic circumstance and/or their disability. I think about all of the lives that had been saved at St. Luke's, because it is located in a strategic location which is truly a lifeline for many in the Mission. And here, Sutter wants to close a historical hospital that plays such an important role to a community in much need, like it did for me. St. Luke's saved my life... How could the continual gentrification of corporate wealth and real estate in San Franciso hold more value than human life? What have we come to? Sutter, how dare you threaten the closure of St. Luke's Hospital!

by Joseph Bolden

Mission Possible, Maybe

Past and recent events in my life has taken another turn.

Have you ever tried something new,seen what other people are doing but part of you silently screams “Don’t Do It.” Which you ignore?

Done that now know it’s aftermath. I’m currently in Customer Service helping people where they reside.

General Assistance can make one lazy, induce stress, and make a day or week feel decades long but sometimes we all need a little help from time to time.

I went off G.A. it is because of a death in my family, told my worker thinking “If I’m away beyond the 1st or 15th its cool because the worker knows.

Wrong! Had to be reported. I did return late and was off G.A.

Worked some, got back on and missed a numerous appointments probably psychologically not wanting to be back on.

Family monies, old hurts, resurface, my decision leaving the one bit of transient stability where art-words-work-social/political
activism from a positive non profit organization was hard and for a time sent me into physically ill depression.

Somewhere Its recounted won’t go into it here. It was a sort of cleansing of familiar while entering an abyss of a new phase phase.

As with stints as a security guard, lab aide, food service aide, custodian, construction worker [went to school for that] home health aide/kitchen helper.

They just didn’t fit, could work at them but most except construction were low level waged jobs and it didn’t fit me.

If I could have stuck with being a Certified Nurse Assistant
but after a year of being on call, on staff then going from

Convalescent center to hospital and doing private in-home care, scrambling from check to check for most of that year…
I couldn’t do it anymore.

Job Burnout, nervous breakdown, fatigue whatever its called sent me spiraling quickly into jobless, houseless limbo.

Because I didn’t drink at the time or was into drugs depression and self loathing were my enemies.

Slowly you learned its not you but the the SYSTEM IS FUCKED NOT YOU!

I did work, pay taxes every time groceries, new clothes, or other merchandise were bought. Paid into the system and the syst
screwed me!

From homeless shelter’s, the gray underground cash-in-hand-jobs.

I find my way in the process as others before me have.

Help from a then youth now grown up woman in her own right helped more by example and action than words.

Its possible getting of G.A. staying off is the problem.

Now that I’m captured yet again at least it won’t get to me as it did before with missed appointments, complete disclosures of intent, or personal ambitions.

Multi tasking is a maligned word but needed in this quickened world.

One need not contemplate jail as an escape or exit strategy.

I’m not doing the crime then the time, hopefully won’t be set up for such a fall.

So back on G.A. maybe its time to pay the piper and have my pc, printer fixed, web surf safely in my own home.

If I’m able to buy a web cam for dating only with minor peeks of some online babes...

Could I use a web cam as a personal money making tool myself!

One won't know until its tried.

A jobless/houseless depressed wreck I was, now free from the grey tunnel the experience may have forged a stronger me.

by Joseph Bolden

Constant Change,Metaphor My Eye!

Hello good Fem.’s n’ Men it is I Shmo,Blow,or Cup-a-Me writing again.

For a few weeks there has been good mixed with equally bad times.

Besides worries on rent a month ago now there seems to be tax problems from a few years back.

Since I don’t earn enough to imagine tax returns my paperwork was kind of lost for a few years in a messy, disordered one room apartment better known as S.R.O. [Single Room Occupant].

While a good,loyal friend is walking along with hundreds maybe thousands of other folks are on The Longest Walk

From the island of Alcatraz through the many small towns, cities, and through states to Washington,D.C.

I,if not we made a pact or promise: whom ever has a place the other can visit, lay their head, rest, recuperate for while before going back to our lives.

We’ve helped each other over time, I hope that we held up each other when we needed each others strength for an extra push or away from edges we didn’t see.

A new friend is going through their particular purgatory this with estranged family reunions.

Being homeless is bad enough when abandoned by family but to be totally alone knowing that some family members don’t give a…

It’s a bitter pill to swallow after surviving on the streets,finding friends who more by action than words show your worth and their own in those small seemingly insignificant ways.
Whether its an invite to dip toes in the ocean or lunch for no reason just because.

We find the phonies from the real folks and count ourselves lucky to have these good people in our lives.

That’s the hidden pressure of losing or nearly losing housing when one has experienced house-lessness.

There are hidden communities of extended friends at times more valuable than blood families if family breaks down.

I count myself as extremely blessed to have family help me and friends help me when feeling on the end of a precipice about to fall over a few friends and family held me refusing to let me fall, pulled me back to solid land.

I’m quietly most proud to have helped a few friends and family when the mean presented themselves may this continue in ways unimaginable later.

Now it’s the threat of housing yet again stabs at me.

Those real estate and foreign exchange business opportunities are beginning to look better in my eyes, General Assistance I’ve been on and off of for years.

Since I’ve traveled a little it may be that its way past time to not only take a chance but prepare for success.

Already I’ve dealt with failure in my work life, a relationship I wanted but became a deeper emotional friendship that’s grown making me more than someone’s substitute booty call which
I very well might have become if said friend had less spiritual,moral fortitude, also dealing with growing-up-too-fast emotional traumas and physical abuses.

What will I do once this personal crisis is over?

Well while looking at old tv’s,movies about Vampyres , Werewolves,and
assorted immortals it came to me why not
learn a few languages,math,travel a bit before staying in Ameri-land for life.

Give myself time, freedom, some romance,quietude and adventure.

I sound like Frodo or Bilbo Baggins for a last adventure aboard Gandolf’s ship along with elves.

I could very well go on a quest few are one seeking, recreating the fabulous stone that is no stone of legend: THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE!

The things it does not matter whether the legend is true or false what matters is ways to occupy the time remaining to me.

Of course there is only one place to go if the stone is true…

Coast To Coast AM.

I’d talk to Art Bell first and if one can manipulate time
will revisit from time to time all the hosts of that most excellent of mind expanding show.

For now its housing, friends,family,lovers, and loved ones to see,then later places to visit.

Who knows, with another 20+ or more years allotted to me this may be one of many excellent adventures I may take, make, and bring along a few friends along the way.

Using my creative/slight scientific bent may help me still live an extraordinary life where I could not before in this weary mundane dreary one.

All you adventurer’s/adventuretts pray and wish me luck.

I don’t know about anyone else but I feel blessed to have a quest,a thing to do or contribute before passing and still there’s always
Cryonics just in case it all goes wrong,as back up still need to join A.A.R.P. and Common Wealth Club.

After all one must share discoveries in case all this goes right.

by Joseph Bolden

High School Daze Reunion

Yes,way overdue, frightening,and why should I go?

Many other questions haunt me,will continue haunting until…

I return to a place of both dread and fun times – my high school reunion! For over 30 years I’ve not shown up.

My various reasons were:
1. Don’t live there.
2. Some bad experiences there.
3. Bookworm, thin body, lazy eye odd boy.
4. Did not accomplish high school,college dreams.
5. Not rich, famous, married, or living in a real home.
6.Fear of rejection, ridicule, and public humiliation.
7. I wouldn’t be remembered as being a student and last.
8.My low to zero social/cultural/economic standing compared to many former students who’ve graduated, moved on to better improved lives.

All the above minutia means nothing but excuses for not showing up.

Thirty plus years is a long time to feel inadequate because life didn’t turn out exactly as planned enough of that.

Time to face the pied pipers music,go and get this over with.

Probably,few people know of me way back when.

Just a rail thin kid, accident prone,shy,horny, bookish,lazy eye, and not athletic.

I wasn’t into chess clubs, public speaking, maybe some art and cooking but way below cool kids though.

I had finally figured out if I’m a designated outcast even though wanting to be part of the in crowd then “F” the in crowd,it isn’t worth all the crap so it

got easier to ignore even to the point where I prevented a beat down by actually telling some big bruiser “Beat Me Up, What Will It Prove?”
which said bruiser says

“It Proves I Can Beat You Up.”

At that point I think other kids stopped the fight when looking at small, frail, me and the giant guy about to pound me into mulch.

Awhile after that I had my own kind of cool.

I think from that frightening turn of events I became less afraid of people [still got my ass kicked, but being perceived as The Freaky One Eyed Kid] kept most of the bullies away,a few adventurous,brave girls began to see though false perception to see the real me.

I was still shy about my looks
it mattered less than before.

I’m a late bloomer sexually which may have save me just as the AIDS crisis began. In my mid to late 20’s the wonders of girls and women had taken hold.

Playboy, Oui, Fling, Gem, and Gent are the magazines to thank.

I suffer job burnout or medically called a nervous breakdown which precipitated becoming homeless in L. A., Oakland, Berkelely.

Folks, I recommend not experiencing this aspect of social deconstruction.

I’ve hitched to Los Angeles, was an extra in a film there and in Bakersfield, and San Francisco probably on the cutting room floor.

Was a Certified Nurse Assistant/Kitchen Helper and Home Health Aide.

I’ll say it may help focus young folks on life’s road, who think the world is theirs by birthright alone.

Let them experience being house-less and jobless for 3 to 6 months they may return (if they survive it) better, wiser, and stronger.

Then it all fell apart because both high skill/low wage combination,travels to other convalescent hospitals, ever higher rents.

It doesn’t help to have lived in a house with a loving mother,a backward with dogs, younger brother looking up to you for guidance.

I’d had gone to Jr. college for a few years but didn’t have a major.

Purgatory and Hell are places on earth and the nexus is living between paycheck and losing it falling into a jobless/houseless abyss.

Truly contemplating ending ones life feeling as if you’re an cipher caught in amber frozen in frustration.

Physical and Psychological damage heaps on you unless you find ways to cope luckily my escape was writing, humor, and rarely when I offered or asked of me sex.

The last item cost me missing friend’s important speaking at an important function,besides slow loss of self worth,sex also goes unless you pay for it.

I’ve done that on rare occasions finding no joy even in physical release unless there is mutual trust, likability it leaves within me a cold,empty,feeling more worthless than not having any.

You get what you can when you can empty or not.

One doesn’t die when sex is denied but one remembers and those memories haunt,burn you and I one of my ambitions was to be writer or scientist maybe both.

As a late bloomer just getting the hang of sex then its ripped away from me with time,jobless,houseless,
my library card really helped me along with writing to cope.

I learned more about psychological/physical aspects of male and female anatomy, psychology,sexology honing my skills when the rare women gave of herself.

Maybe homelessness like prison brought out what was already there…
my pure heterosexual orientation just as prison can bring out latent homosexual tendencies to the forefront.

There’s lots of exaggerated acting out on the street especially when anyone can play the homo/hetero card for a laugh,people have died to prove a point.

I had the presence of mind to intrinsically know most of who and what I am without worry of what the image looked like.

Also found out my body type is Mesomorphic which is prone to massive muscle build up with little exercise needed or by same way by overeating muscle can turn to fat.

One lady friend has stayed with me through out my homeless ness/jobless times another has helped me keep my sane and healthy.

There are people who if they come to know you will stick by you through good and bad.

Its women that have seen me my most pathetic and at my best,
it is they without whom my life would’ve ended long before I ever wrote my first clunky column.

It good and loyal friend years to get off red meat and try vegetarian diet, I still eat meat though less than before.

I credit her friendship for at time nurturing me when sick

I live in San Francisco where being gay or gayelle is a norm.

Isolated, hetero, homeless, jobless, and finally on/off G.A.
[General Assistance]

For me it has really been a long, confused, strange, dangerous,haunting slow trip through time where friends were made and precarious as life is and
can be I have learned to live,learn,love, survive,and thrive.

Sadly,it may be too late for family life yet I still could be a decent,loving, husband, raising another’s gene spawn children.

Homelessness has changed me I don’t know how I’d turn out if it had not happened?

After all this I believe I can go to my Berkeley High School Reunion no matter my station in life because I am alive to talk about it.

Now if I can get a call by email, phone, for an invite I’ll get on bart and go the school and get this millstone off my mind for good.

And for anyone that has suffered other hardships as in war, nearly murdered, deep losses other or triumphed over adversities

I’d advise others go to your reunions,get it done and over with.

Don’t fall back into being who you were,be the person you are now.
AND IF THE OLD GANG CAN’T HANG
THAT’S ON THEM NOT YOU OR I.

Whomever wants or needs to contact me
Joseph O. Bolden, Berkeley High School/Class of 1973
My Email is jsph_bldn@yahoo.com

Time to hear the pipers tune and dance.