Story Archives

“POOR Magazine has an open door for whoever wants to enter. I feel a deep admiration and respect and also an eternal gratitude to POOR Press. (POOR Magazine) I can only say thank you to everyone who helped to write my book.” Maria Molina, Migrant Scholar and debut POOR Press Author of her newly released book, “Humble Professional.”

In the world around us, we often tend to read about other people, their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. A question for this Race, Media, Poverty (and Legal) Scholar is how much of our own stories do we get in an opportunity to share to the world? Pens in our own hands, fingers focused on keyboards, lives seen and heard in our words, via voice.

Institutions that gate keep the publishing industry on philanthro-pimped dollars are irrelevant to our "I" voice.

Our stories owned only by us.

A deeply self-empowered woman with a vision of a dream-turned-reality, far and abroad for us to fight by write/right: "Tiny" Lisa Gray-Garcia, co-founder of POOR and daughter of Dee. In 2003, POOR gave birth to the project of "POOR Press Authors" as a revolution for all people in poverty to be self-published; as a community exempt from philanthro-pimped dollars and the Non-Profit Industrial Complex.

The POOR Press Authors project would indeed proceed to partially penetrate the publishing industry which often prevents the voice of the poor to be told. A project for their voices to finally be foretold…....…from their own.

There is a common saying, "Its not what you know, its who you know." Whereas, we all got to know Tiny before we even got to know survival in the reality of "Writing is Fighting." In 2006, (and presently) I got a first hard look of such community concept sharing a collective vision.

Survival and a struggle from system abuse that institutionalizes ignorance of poverty and homeless by implementing laws against it. “Crimes of Poverty.”

(Tiny in her book, Criminal of Poverty) Racism with po-lice terror in Single Room Occupancy Hotels, Citizens & Civilians Over Corruption: Savagely Removed Occupant (me) Border fascism (Ingrid De Leon, El Viaje: The Journey, Angel Garcia, Gangs, Drugs, and Denial, and Muteado Silencio Untold Stories in AmeriKKKa) and the struggles in surviving lifetime addictions through poetry art. (Ruyata Akio Mc Glothin a.k.a. RAM, Not Even In Therapy)

Many more stories have surfaced since the year of 2003 of one's struggle, survival, and/or combination of both. In 2009, Los Viajes: The Journeys was successful. It was a collection of stories and cultural art of resistance to false borders from migrant scholars, who mainstream media here in AmeriKKKa often label as "illegal immigrants."

I had the honor of reviewing "Los Viajes" alongside of other POOR Press Publication releases from the authors.

http://www.poormagazine.org/node/3171

POOR Press Authors release is another triumphant victory for every single author (including myself) who no longer goes unheard. A voice increased into a community that has "Taken Back the Land….…Resisting Criminalization........One Story at a Time!"

THE FOREVER JOB: THE FINAL EVICTION

Race, Media, Poverty, and Elder Scholar, Bruce Allison has released his second book titled The Forever Job: The Final Eviction. The title says it all. A series debut of a science fiction novel of an uncompromising outlook into the future, which is strikingly similar to present every day events surrounding world politics.

A native of San Francisco and a forever frontline fighter for the rights of seniors and people with disabilities; Allison’s activism is heard in his brief description of The Forever Job: The Final Eviction.“It’s a fictional account of the future by using today’s standards if we continue on our same greedy road.”

The eyes and the mind of its reader travels the deeply-warped imaginary mind of Allison into a world ravaged with corporate/governmental global oppression, displacement, and enslavement via the “Dyson Sphere.” An uprising and resistance led by Allison, and his comrade (character ed as his wife) Gioioa von Disterlo, a.k.a. Lola Bean of literally a twelve year march that’s “Not a walk around the block.”

BONEYARD

Race, Media, Poverty Scholar, activist, and Revolutionary poet, Dee Allen has released his debut book. Boneyard is a gut-wrenching collection of revolutionary poetry that speaks on life, love, religion, politics, and death. “It’s a collection of poems, and song lyrics written mostly in the 1990s.” Allen explains. “Each poem gives a glimpse into situations that impact African Descent people in AmeriKKKa.”

Equally-explosive in each of his words, Allen expresses his emotions of the chaos in the world today. The reader’s mind comes to a halt when they read this excerpt from his poem (and book titled) Boneyard:

For another child

Embittered

Had shown him his most

Glorified toy from youth

His lifelong phobia

The receiving end of a pistol.

The known face of doom.

Locked. Loaded. Blown.

Boneyard as in breath and/or death of life, not to be taken lightly for any set of eyes.

THE LONG BLACK GATE: LA FRONTERA

Ruyata Akio McGlothin, a.k.a RAM is a Race, Media, and Poverty Scholar. He is also a poet and a “Super Baby Daddy” of his two daughters. He has released his fourth book, The Long Black Gate: La Frontera. A native of San Francisco, and survivor of po-lice brutality, RAM’s collection of poetry drafts the conscious (and/or unconscious) mind of the reader regarding “border patrols” and its fascism against undocumented (migrant scholars) immigrants here in AmeriKKKa.

RAM’s recent visit to the State of Texas and his observation of “borders” is poetically descriptive in graphic detail in this excerpt:

It’s a see through wall

It aint too far past you see those bombs

It’s a war I was told

The people, the cartels

And the border police are so cold

“My book is about borderism, walls, gates, rules, hates, insides and outs. Lands and waters……..and what goes on in between them.” RAM describes and explains of his book. The Long Black Gate: La Frontera is educationally-equipped of his experience to share and penetrate the walls of ignorance to one’s mind.

SELF-HELP FOR THE APOCALYPSE: POEMS FOR THE FREAKONOMICALLY CHALLENGED

Thornton Kimes is a Race, Media, and Poverty Scholar of POOR Magazine/PNN. He is also a staff and writer facilitator. Kimes has published his second book, Self-Help For The Apocalypse: Poems for The Freakonomically Challenged. Kimes's second book collectively, poetically exclaims everyday life's problems placed upon people via system, in oppression, locally and globally.

His poems present unique themes on each verse that range from numerous issues involving poverty, racism, war, politics, capitalism, etc, etc.

Kimes explains his enthusiasm and motivation for his book. “Self-Help For The Apocalypse was a sign in the window at Modern Times Books, in San Francisco the first time I went to a POOR Press reading, while I was starting to work on my first book------Non-Profit Industrial Complex: A Love Story And Other Poems. I thought the sign made a great title for a collection of poems."

He adds in Self-Help For The Apocalypse, "We're in the middle of an economic Apocalypse, a new crew of "adults" in charge trying to fix what's broken. Poor People already knows what's broken-------the whole system............"

A slice of self-confidence in struggle can possible be felt in the reader's heart, in an excerpt of his poem, "7 Plus 8."

Up the down staircase

soothe the savage beast

sooth say I say we all say

fall down, get up

HUMBLE PROFESSIONAL

Maria Molina is a Race, Media, and Migrant Scholar. Molina has released her debut book, Humble Professional. Her book is chronicled from her very voice. Born and raised in the Province of San Rafael, Chalatenango, in the country of El Salvador, Molina struggled through over-whelming obstacles to seemingly-impossible goals. Poverty of working hourly wages by cents, not dollars at age 14.

Studying courageously for higher education behind her employer’s policy that prohibited it. Volunteering her time vigorously for an employment opportunity to teach children. The ignorance of poverty, and the discouragement from prosperity told to her at youth: “The reason of why the rich had so much was because God wanted it that way and that the poor had nothing because God wanted it that way also.”

Humble Professional, not just a book where Molina outlines her very life written before the reader’s eyes. Page-by-page, pictures are painted into the reader’s mind: Images of struggles and sacrifices, for seeds of stability.

“Throughout the book, I have manifested the way to recognize and give light to what it cost for a person of low-income to be able to complete a professional career.” Molina says of Humble Professional. She would later add in her book, “It’s HARD to be a PROFESSIONAL.”

Publications Pending Release by POOR Press Authors

MY CHILDHOOD, MY YOUTH, AND MY PRESENT.

“It deals with family violence and violence. I felt liberated because I was able to write things inside of me.”

Race, Media, Poverty, and Migrant Scholar, Ingrid De Leon of her second book.

INDIGENOUS COLORING BOOK

“Basically, we as indigenous and people of color are never portrayed in kid’s coloring books, in a positive way. The idea of my book was after seeing my niece’s coloring books from Cinderella, Snow White, Peter Pan, and has never seen a coloring book of people that look like her or me.”

Race, Media, Poverty, and Migrant Scholar, Muteado Silencio explaining the details of his second book.

POOR Press Authors: Published from self in poverty, prosperous in their words…....….presented with the “I” voice.

The Thursday, February 10th, 2011 early morning show (6a.m. to 9a.m.) on KPOO 89.5 FM was interesting.  A Big L Libertarian was interviewed, and what I at first heard was a great rant about how what is/was going on in Egypt is/was terrible, Obama sounded good at first but why did he change course and try to slow things down?

Big L Libertarians, can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.  Darn.  They sound just like Very Conservative Republicans--they ARE Very Conservative but don't identify as Republicans.  They hate "Big Government", they hate government period.  They think government should get out of the way of The People and the corporations and let both do what they do best--make money, make wealth. 

The Big L Libertarian said this sort of thing several times, that this is/was the solution to problems like dictators ruling Egypt or anywhere else.  Corporations will solve all of our problems?  Corporations like the ones that sliced oil-rich Nigeria into a Muslim half and a Christian half that are supposed to hate each other now while people who are just plain poor try to get some oil for their personal use and get killed in explosions and fires? 

Corporations like Lennar, which owns big chunks of San Francisco, have a sweetheart deal with the city government over "cleaning up" the Navy Yard and have some of the responsibility for the steadily shrinking Black population of the city?  The banks getting fatter with more foreclosed houses every day?

Those wonderful guys who do what they do best, make money, make wealth?  At the Feb 15th, 2011, Tuesday morning 10 a.m. Coffee Hour where I live, the Elk Hotel, one guy talking to another said something about how hard it is to get a job in San Francisco 

To quote Michael Jackson:  They Don't Care About Us.  They never have.  You can see it in the way that the shredded social safety net is being fiddled with so more cuts can be made and more people can suffer, or suffer worse than they already are.  Big L Libertarians, can't live with 'em, don't wanna hear what they have to say.

Taxes en Imigrantes es un Robo/The tax on immigrants is theft

Monday, February 15, 2010;

Scroll down for English

Nosotros, los migrantes/imigrantes somos tratados como ladrones por que los residentes estadonidences piensan que le robamos los trabajos. Como una migrante/imigrante trabajadora  debo tengo que respetamente estar desacuerdo con eso, en verdad, la historia verdadera es, que muchos imigrantes han construido este pais. En mi pais de Guatemala. Tenmos un dicho, “Nadie en un profeta en nuestra propia tierra”.

Estamos en restaurantes, hoteles, tiendas, granjas, etc. Estamos en todas partes por que nosotros no le tenemos miedo a nada. Nosotros hacemos cualquier trabajo que requiere trabajar, aun que sea fisico o duro.

Haga se esta pregunta, quien limpia, quien cuida a los ninos, etc. “Los Imigrantes”. Yo pienso que no es justo que somos tratdos mal y que somos ignorados en esta sociedad, no somos mala gente.

Recientemente estado triste por la situacion de amigo. Desde que ha llegado a este pais el a estado pagando sus taxes, todos saben que en todos los cheques que el recibe, hay una deduccion en su cheque. El gobierno le regresa una miseria de cheque. Lastimosamente pero a los immigrantes no le regresan nada.
 

Mi amigo debia originalmente mil dolares en taxes y no pudo pagar esa deuda, ahora su deuda aumentado a cinco mil dolares. Tiene una fecha en que debe pagar ese dinero y si no paga esa deuda por esa fecha, le puden dar una multa. Yo creo que es un robo y un abuso de poder.

Yo creo que gente con un estatus legal son muy afortunados por que no tienen que dejar sus familias para sobrevivir como muchos de nosotros hacemos que dejamos nuestras familias en nuestros paises para buscar trabajo. Estamos muy lejos de los seres que queremos, tratando de construir una mejor vida para nuestra familias. Estamos peleando por nuestras vidas, para sobrevivir. Este pais nos hace sentir como pajaros sin alas o nidos.

DIOS nuestro creador nos hizo a todos igual, DIOS tambien es el dueno de el oro, plata y del todo el mundo, pero desgraciadamente nos estaos comiendo a cada uno. Es suficiente ya no queremos mas humillacion, somos seres humanos, somos seress humanos y e igual que todos los demas.

Engles Sigue

We, the migrant/immigrant peoples are treated as a thieves because US residents think we steal their jobs. As a hard-working migrant/immigrant I must respectfully disagree, actually, the real story is, a lot of immigrants have built this country.  In my country of Guatemala. We have a saying,“Nobody is a prophet in our own land”.

We are at restaurants, hotels, stores, farms, etc.  We are everywhere, because we are not afraid of anything. We do every job that we are required to do, even if it is physical or hard work. 

Ask yourself, who clean things, and takes care of children, etc. “The Immigrants”.  I think it is not fair that we get bad treatment, and that we are ignored in this society, we are not bad people. 

Recently I have been very sad at the plight of my friend. Since his arrival to this country has been paying his taxes, and everybody knows that in every single check that he gets, there is a tax deduction.  The government returns him a miserable check.  Unfortunately the immigrants don’t get anything back.

My friend originally owed one thousand dollars in taxes, but he couldn’t afford his debt, now his debt has increased to five thousand dollars.  He has gotten a due date, and if he does not pay it on time, he could get a fine.  I think it is a burglary, an abuse of power.

I think people with legal status are very lucky, because they don’t have to give up  their family just to survive like so many of us do when we have to leave our families and countries just to seek work.  We are so far from the people that we love, trying to build a better future to our family.  We are fighting for our lives, fighting to survive.  This government makes us feel like birds without our nest or without wings.

God our Creator made us all equal, God is also the owner of the gold, silver, and the entire world, but unfortunately we are eating each other.  It is enough we don’t want more humiliation, we are human beings, and the same as everybody. 

Friday, July 16, 2010;

Part 1:  It Ain’t Easy Carryin’ Green

Diane Campbell, an African American woman living in Palo Alto, CA (south of San Francisco), carefully saved $600 hard-earned dollars to buy an iPAD, only to be denied service. Apple may have combined poor training of some employees with class indifference to the grim economic reality of life for many poor people all the time, and most certainly the uncertainties of life for many people of all ethnicities for the past several years; their employee’s stated reasoning was that the no-cash-accepted policy was to prevent participants in the world-wide underground economy from buying too many iPADs and selling them on the international black market.

The basic lack of access, for people of color in Amerikkka, to a good education, health care, home ownership, housing, jobs, legal representation and justice, and nutrition, extends to access to computer education, skills and (affordable) equipment.  Apple Computers found itself extremely visibly on the wrong side of the Digital Divide when Campbell called ABC News consumer watchdog Michael Finney (“7 On Your Side”) to see if he could help her.

Apple was forced, by high demand for the iPAD in this country, to halt marketing and shipping of it to Europe.  Customers here are officially allowed to buy only two for that stated reason.  The ease and speed of using credit and debit cards to restrict the number of iPADs any one person could buy was the best solution Apple could come up with, according to the company’s Senior Vice President, Ron Johnson. 

Johnson looked and sounded like a deer in the headlights talking to Finney on the Tuesday, May 18, 2010 news broadcast.  His explanation sounded weak, though there are elements of it that also sounded reasonable.  How hard can it be for someone with access to a great deal of money to create multiple identities so they could buy more than 2 iPADS with credit cards?

Apple was, at first, unmoved by Finney’s inquiry into their apparent policy—until the story hit the air (two POOR writers, Vivian Hain and I, saw the initial broadcast) and pissed a lot of people off.  Campbell charmed many with her on-air request to Steve Jobs to “…give a sister a break.”  She got one.  A free iPAD.

As far as I can tell the closest Michael Finney and “7 On Your Side” gets to helping poor people is when they are limited income elders or folks getting some form of disability assistance, middle to upper middle class folks seem to be his favorite victims to help.  Diane Campbell’s dilemma may have cracked that wall, but Channel 7 was very careful to not get into the Digital Divide aspect of her story.

Part 2:  Apple, Tip O’ The Iceberg

Amazon has no stores, E-Bay and Craigslist are virtually the same, forcing anyone buying something from those sites to use credit, debit or gift cards—or break a sweat to make arrangements for a face-to-face meeting (Craigslist) that isn’t a set-up for a car-jacking or worse.

The book publishing and selling industry (the magazines and newspapers industries too) is under attack and siege from amazon, its peers and competitors, its Kindle e-book, the iPAD’s e-book function and all the other e-books competing for customers.  There is an apparently endless supply of new cool gadgets (iPAd, iPhone, digital tv, 3-D tv, blah blah blah…) tempting us and changing how we do things.

This is a 25-years-old chapter, beginning with the Apple Computer personal computer, of an old story, technology offering whomever was on top of the economic heap whenever it came to their attention the opportunity to change the lives of everyone else in the world—whether they wanted that change or not.  The Industrial Revolution was Chapter One.

Did Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos and others know what they were doing when they began their campaigns to create new products nobody knew they wanted, to change the world through the back door? 

The Digital Divide is expanding in lock-step with the vast wealth gap between rich and poor.  Virtually everyone in this country who isn’t homeless has a television, and virtually everyone who isn’t homeless has a phone, if not a cellphone (and homeless folks can own cellphones if they can come up with the money), but the new cool gadgets require knowledge, skill, and commitment to pay attention to the need to upgrade to something better and faster and more capable than the last generation of the same thing or the next thing that can do all that the other things can do--like the iPAD--with a calm gosh-wow smoothness we all want in our pockets or on our laps.

We can vote yes or no for things we want/don’t want politicians, et al, to do, but sometimes it seems like we can only vote with withheld dollars to say no to social change by means of technology, and poor folks don’t have enough of those votes unless we unite to make a lot of noise about it.

Thursday, July 15, 2010;

I depend on BART to get to my job in San Francisco twice a week. My job does not pay me in money but gives me knowledge of a whole new side of media production and education and a whole different perspective of life. Although getting paid in knowledge is priceless and a gift deserving of the masses, it does not help pay the rising costs of public transportation in San Francisco. Unfortunately I am not the only person who will suffer when the public transit fare increases and the service line decreases.

“As a senior, they doubled my fare in one year. This affects me because after paying rent I only have $200 to pay bills and fast pass,” said Bruce Allison, elderly transit user. “This is a hardship.”

On June 29, 2010 community members, public transit users, public transit workers, environmentalists and poor people gathered at the doors of the Federal Building in San Francisco to protest rising costs, decreasing service lines, and decreasing employment opportunities for transit workers. The goal of the protest was to urge Senator Boxer and Congresswoman Pelosi to support two pieces of legislation (HR-2746 and S-3189) that would avoid further budget/service cutbacks and provide long-term flexibility in transit funding to give local communities the ability to meet their needs.

“I think MUNI is either oblivious or pretty much insensitive toward economic times. People can barely afford to get a ride as it is,” Marlon Crump said.

This fare increase and service line decrease is a double-edged sword for poor people across the Bay Area. Not only will we no longer be able to afford to ride public transportation or have to resort to stealing public transportation but even when we can afford it MUNI’s service lines will be cut so we will end up getting stranded on our way to our jobs, on our way home to feed our families, or on our way to pick up our children from school. In the end, this cut will leave us stranded.

“With the service cut, anytime you get on a bus you can almost guarantee feeling like you’re in a sardine can,” said Thornton Kimes, public transit user.

At the protest rally, the air filled with different chants and cries. “Stop trying to balance the budget on the backs of the workers!” “Fix our transit! Fix it now! Fund our transit! Fund it now!” “We have money for wars but can’t transport the poor!” The rally was filled with solidarity between workers, union members and the people that need it the most, poor public transit riders.

“At a time when the economy is down we need public transportation most,” said SF Labor Council Director, Tim Paulson. “Who’s affected most? Working people. Poor people. Homeless people. Students.”

As I sit at Macarthur Station and wait for my transfer to Richmond I wonder what effect the service cuts will have on people. Will the late night service line be cut entirely, leaving me stranded in Oakland for the evening? I reach in my pocket and count the last of my dollars from the day. $5 exactly. I had to worry about not spending any money that day to be sure I would be able to pay the increased toll at the Benicia bridge that night. And all I could think is would I be able to afford to make it to work the next time?

Right on! Right on! Ride on! Ride on! Save our ride!

POOR Magazine poverty skolaz, Po Poets and welfareQUEEN's travel to Detroit for the Allied Media conference and US Social Forum and to xchange skolarship with Detroit families and folks!

Monday, June 7, 2010;

Allied Media Conference:

Saturday, June 19th

4-5:30

(Incite) Mamaz Truth-telling

Sunday, June 20th

10:00am

Challenging Media, Akkkademia and Research PeopleSkool workshop

11:50am

Makeshift Reclamation -

US Social Forum

Wed, 06/23/2010

10am

Childcare(Familycare & the left) (with POWER & child care collective)

Wayne County Community College: 340

3pm

Poets in poverty ReSist- welfareQUEENs and poetas POBREs perform

Amphitheater

TBA

welfareQUEENS @ World Court on Poverty

Friday, 6/25/2010

10am

Peoples Forum on Language Theft, Language Occupation, Linguistic Domination, Resistance & Reclamation

Description:

Throughout the history and herstory of oppression of indigenous peoples and peoples of color in poverty, the worlds of academia, research and media have successfully dominated, silenced and colonized indigenous voices, voices in poverty and voices of color, resulting in the loss of our native languages and an accepted and fixed notion of literacy and scholarship,i.e, who should be heard, who is a scholar and what is considered a valid form of data collection, media production and research. In this forum/workshop, the poverty, race, disability, youth, migrant and indigenous scholars of POOR Magazine's PeopleSkool will challenge the racist and classist concept of literacy, and how some languages have functioned as active tools of oppression and enabled the intentional exclusion, separation and silencing of voices in poverty, indigenous voices, youth voices, elder voices and voices of color to be heard, recognized, integrated and powered.

Detroit Community-wide:

4) WeSearch Camp @POOR - poor people led media and research outside the USSF and in street corners and neighborhoods across Detroit - please invite us to your community or struggle for a truth Voice

5) Homefulness POOR Magazine knowledge xchange posse- poor people led/indigneous people led sweat -equity co-housing project to give landless indigenous families access to permanent housing, arts and multi-generational education, localized food production, micro-business and equity not based on how much is our pockets- read the Manifesto for Change to understand the whole project- Please suggest/invite us to communities in detroit we should see /speak with

Friday, October 23, 2009;

Ingles sigue

I’m not currently homeless, but with the fickle stoner landlady that my partner and I have, that could change at any moment. We don’t want to be homeless again. If we lose our place here, we can’t afford another one here in Austin.

I’ve been homeless on and off since 1992, when I left home because my mom just refused to get along with me. At first I lived off my savings, but when that ended, I started crashing with friends and occasionally sleeping with guys to have a place to stay for the night. I smoked pot and dropped acid, so I don’t really remember much from 1992 to 1995. .

At the drop of a hat, if I ended up with some money from a little job, friends, or church, I’d decide to go off to Austin, Nashville, Dallas, or some other town. I’d work there for a while, but never could save enough to find a place. .

I met a guy with a lot of privilege and we dated all summer. I guess he liked having a little street girl to fool around with for a while, until his rich psychiatrist daddy freaked out after I got pregnant (I found out later that Daddy-O paid for my abortion.) Then my boyfriend literally dropped me off in front of a teen homeless shelter. Two months of depression and drug use ensued. .

I met a British space physicist and had a semester-long affair with him, once again ending up pregnant. This time, I was not going to terminate my pregnancy. I was able to find a supportive midwife who moved me to North Texas, where I gave birth to Maya in 1996.

I returned to college in 1997,but it only lasted a year. My parents and I had reconciled by that point, so I ended up moving in with them in El Paso. I was able to find a good job as a telephone operator, but once again, depression reared its ugly head, and I got fired. .

My parents told the State that I was not fit to care for my daughter because of my mental illness, so they took her from me, promising me that they would give her back when I was more stable. Then the State charged me with child endangerment because some anonymous asshole reported that I had left my child alone and didn’t feed her. I got probation, but pissed it away after my mom told me not to see my daughter. I ran off to Houston in 1999 after CPS refused to assist me in obtaining mental health services. .

I got pregnant again the next year after a fling with an eighteen year old. I went off to San Francisco, but returned to Austin after six weeks. I moved in with some friends from the LGBT community, and gave birth to Ethan in 2001. .

I had odd jobs and help from friends, and that’s how I survived with Ethan then. We traveled around the country, but the grass was not greener on the other side. We always returned to Houston. .

In 2004, we were living in a mentally ill group home in Houston when I met Todd, a fellow resident. We quickly fell in love and got our own place, but that didn’t last long, because I was so afraid of CPS and the State coming to get me. I left for Austin that summer, and Todd followed me a few months later. .

I became pregnant and we moved to Albuquerque, where we stayed until Zen was born in early 2005. We returned to Austin, where we stayed at the Salvation Army for six months until we qualified for a housing program. We moved into our own apartment in a nice area and Ethan began school. Almost immediately after moving, I once again got pregnant with Serenity, born in 2006. We spent that year moving from one apartment’s “$99 move in special” to another. .

Todd got a part-time job in 2007 and we moved into a house. Unfortunately, he became physically disabled in addition to his mental illness, so we lost the house. We spent most of 2007 going around the country trying to find him better health care for his neurological disorder, caused by the negligence of his psychiatrist. .

In September of 2007, we moved back to Austin and briefly stayed in the Catholic Worker house. Unfortunately, the woman there didn’t like Todd and threw him out, so the kids and I left the next day. Unbeknownst to us, she called CPS on us. .

We got help from the School District to move into an cramped apartment in a bad area of town. To help pay the rent, I started stripping, but fell back into drug abuse, so I just wasn’t able to take care of the kids like I should have. Todd was basically bedridden at that point. CPS came, but they saw nothing wrong, so they closed the case. .

March 2008 was when the shit hit the fan. Our apartment complex was sick of fixing our windows broken by the neighbors playing soccer, so they threatened to evict us. The next day, I received a call at work from CPS saying they were removing my children because of neglect. My house was a total pigsty because I was too depressed to care, and the police were called. They discovered my warrant for probation violation, arrested me, and sent me back to El Paso. They sent Todd to the mental hospital. .

After I was sentenced in El Paso, I was arrested for child endangerment again in Austin, and was transported back. The whole time I was incarcerated, I only got one visit from friends. I ended up serving my sentences concurrently, and was released from the Texas Department of Criminal Justice in December of last year. .

Todd and I went to court and had our parental rights terminated and so our children went to foster care, then adoption. It is still very hard on us ten months later. .

I finally was able to access mental health services and chemical dependency treatment, and now I am receiving Supplemental Security Income as well as Todd’s. Unfortunately, it is hard to locate affordable housing in Austin nowadays, so we rent an RV month to month. We don’t know when our college student landlady is going to flake out on us and want us to move. I don’t know what is going to happen then, but I am a survivor, so I know I’ll make it through.