Story Archives 2005

by Joe B.

Imperfections

I will talk about something deeply personal for me.

I’ve talked about my lazy left eye,how it could’ve been corrected by a flesh colored (tan brown) plastic eye patch worn over the good right eye to strengthen the weaker left one.

Not listening to my parents,peeking through the patch destroys what could have been two good eyes.

Ok,really messed up because no kid wants to seen as different, developmentally slow (then called retarded) and riding the yellow bus to school didn’t help.

Making up stories to spend the time that was fun because it opens up all our imaginations about the future and what we could do when we get older.

Trying athletics is a disaster like being hit in the right eye by a yellow plastic puck,too lightweight for foot ball.

Able to help girls with homework but not as a date or as a substitute one until someone else comes by,the third wheel of a couple as comic relief.

Bookworm, only swimming, weight training,and learning martial arts help build much needed confidence.

Skip all the fights, jokes about the lazy eyes and children wanting to look straight or scaring some.

The first few girls, women ignore that and have a pleasant surprise – listening to love instructions,retaining them,coming up with variations.
(reading Playboy,Oui,Gem, Gent,articles not only looking at the pictures of semi to fully nude women to helped in sex too).

Being publishing a poetry chap book Poetry Flash,helps build more confidence in myself over the years.

Swimming,Weight training,and Martial Arts became spotty then less and less as time went on and gaining employment looms as more important.

Different low wage, dead end,jobs,becoming houseless,travel to Los Angeles and back to Oakland then San Francisco.

During these desperate times a lazy eye is of no importance surviving, living through a houseless existence is.

Writing,losing it, learning black and white photography,getting publishing short stories, poems in transitional housing newsletter.

Getting off General Assistance and onto Work Fare in the mid 1990’s working for Goodwill Industries PC program brushing up on computer basics,programs and while working for Poor Magazine part time.
(I remember paying $90 to improve my writing skills.

It was difficult coming up with the $30 dollars 3 separate times for 3 months but I made a commitment and stuck with it.)

I had volunteered on and off for Poor M,sometimes got paid for work contributed by photography or writing food reviews, poems,or articles.

After Goodwill I had to find work a telemarketing job.

"Read the script if this doesn’t work,say this, and if not,then this."

It’s a disaster I considered it not selling but lying to make sell, make a sale,get a commission.

I didn’t last through the first or second practice call.

Luckily Poor Magazine is up and running and Mr. Shawn,the staff writer is there and he left for Oakland leaving an opening for me.

That was way back in 1998 now six year later I feel I’ve learned a lot and its my time to go and let someone else have a crack at this organization.

I go to work with time to stop off at the post office to see about a letter that’s been delayed for a few weeks.

While walking to my goal a young black girl and white guy walks in my direction.

The woman did a cringe of distaste which I see but did not acknowledge heading into the mailbox.

The letter has not arrived,I go out,the woman is talking to some other woman and I hear laughter as I pass.

I don’t know if it’s nervous laughter or derision but I have not had that happen to me for years.

I always wonder having a slightly scientific bent that someone has a great exterior look is the interior the same?

The letter didn’t show again today,I go out, see the woman talking to someone.

I want to speak to her about her reaction to me but thought better of it knowing it would look as if a crazy,cross eye,angry guy is attacking her verbally.

She’d look perfectly innocent as I stood next to her ranting at her.

It proves to me that fairy tales,TV shows about Beauty and the beast is that fiction.

The true reaction is what the woman showed in her cringing,startled reaction.

It’s not only that but afterwards the laughter which I don’t know is a nervous reaction or derision.

What galls me is that women who are supposedly more sensitive,emotive, almost empathic to others pain.

She proved not all are and can be as hurtful and anyone.

Also women know how to mask their feelings like chameleons changing colors against predators but not to me I was beneath her did it I was so under her contempt that she need not hide her revulsion or my repulsive look of imperfection.

I’ve too learned to hide my immediate reaction but she did not maybe she feels superior in looks and brain department but as you can see she’s does not write down her reaction she just reacts and kept walking – I could be wrong and it was an accidental hick up of emotional realism.

Human’s are not yet perfected beings some have perfect bodies,some minds, others,enhanced senses, but few have if perfect but clean uncorrupted by cosmic, organic human made radiated mutation.

For perfection to even begin we must see pristine genes,give them a protective coating,slowly build better ones and replace bad ones with good all with no self replicating protective shielding.

Find,reconstruct molecularly bone, skin, and muscle until all is connected,improved.

What I have describes is Gene Enhanced Cosmetic Beauty from the interior to interior.

Since it’s now known we many aspects and many standards of what beauty, handsome,cute,or what’s hot is.

Anyone can be beautiful, have physical flaws genetic in origin replaced and people made the way they should’ve been in spite of nature or genes conspiring with Kismet.

Who knows if I live long enough I might not only regain youthful vigor,but also have much better features of face and body than originally born with.

Even the body I’m might be an improved cloned version of my original or another body completely with my electro-chemical essence encased within soft brain tissue or on a silicon chip.

Ok,I really went far a field of imperfection but I know its coming if not in this country then in another.

I’m an American, and I’ll never betray my country but as thinking sentient being to preserved my unique identity I must do everything I can to seek,pull,break open that other door – the door to prolonged life span if not immortality.

Well,that’s my thoughts today,what have you to say readers?

1095 7th & Market Street,

S.F. Ca.94103

Snail or Email

Joe at:
1230
PO Box #204

S.F., Ca. 94102

by Dee/PNN

In January of 2003 San Francisco became the largest city to pass a resolution which "affirms that any efforts to end terrorism not be waged at the fundamental civil rights and liberties of the people of San Francisco"

On Thursday June 3rd at about 5 pm PNN co-editor tiny and I were driving up Larkin st. in San Francisco. As we approached the Federal Building we noticed a very large sparkling white van with the words Homeland Security in bold black letters written on the side. Tiny and I immediately started fumbling around the car desperately searching for a camera. Finding nothing we raced to Walgreens to buy one. When we returned minutes later the van was gone. However, we questioned why it was there. Tiny said it resembled a satelite spy vehicle and it was
probably parked in the garage of the federal bldg

I thought it must be here for the June 5th anti-war march or the June 8 bio-tech conference, especially since according to the wording of the act itself, " The Patriot act has removed legal barriers that prevented the law enforcement, intelligence and national defense communities from talking and coordinating their work to protect the American people and our national security".

Considering what occurred at the protests for the racial justice rally and the entire reclaim the commons protest of the bio-tech conference with so many people arrested and the extreme amount of unnecessary law enforcement that was present it seemed that if Homeland Security had "worked with" the SFPD in the arrests or the planning of the police action that it was in a direct contradiction to the resolution passed by the city against the Patriot act.

In order to find out just how much the Homeland security had been involved in the police action against the biotech protests I called the mayors office and asked the first person that answered why there was so much police presence at the biotech conference protests," Because the community wanted it" , was the answer. Then click.

I called back again only to talk to the same person who said, "are you just calling to fuss with me?" I said no I wouldn’t waste my time and that I would like to speak to someone who could answer some questions and was then transferred to an office manager who answered the same question by saying, " No comment and I mean no comment." This person gave me another number for the press person and I proceeded to leave a question on their voice mail which was, "What part did homeland security play in the police action against the protesters at the bio-tech conference?"

Two days passed and noone called back to answer the question. On Friday June 11th. "President" Reagen's holiday, I called and left the same question for the press persons for the supervisors, Matt Gonzalez, Chris Daly, and Jake McGoldricks own voice mail as well as another message for Gavin Newsom’s press person. None of them returned the call even though I said there was a deadline for the report for the Bayview paper and PNN

Because there were no return calls and no other information except our hunch and because we hadn’t seen the homeland security van again during the whole week of protests, we began to wonder if our hunch was correct. Then as I was trolling the internet for research I discovered a clever person had captured a photo of the same homeland security van on Friday June 11th parked in front of city hall with people boarding it.

There concentrated police/surveillance work completed, the Homeland Security Army could leave San Francisco and help other police departments in other protests attack the civil liberties of Americans who dare to disagree with the policies of the justice dept and the amerikkan government and perhaps undermine resolutions made by cities to help protect Americans in their city against the abuses of the Patriot act. Even though those cities have perhaps been promised by resolutions of their city governments to protect its citizens against those abuses, such as the resolution made by the SF Board of Supervisors, which it seems was a resolution with out any substance.

Dee is co-editor of POOR Magazine/PNN for more work on issues of poverty and racism go on-line to www.poormagazine.org

by TJ Johnston/PNN

After driving to Monterey, CA last Wednesday, July 21, I saw angels and there hadn't been that many since they were trendy in the early '90's.

They were not the celestial kind: these were more earthy angels from San Francisco's Media Alliance that were sighted at a rally before the only FCC localism hearing convening in the West Coast this year. They manifested themselves outside the Monterey Convention Center in response to Chairman Michael Powell's now famous query for "the angels of public interest" to speak out against media conglomeration. Had Chairman Powell not been AWOL, he would have seen the seraphim first hand.

Fellow Poor Magazine reporter Joe Bolden and I caught a ride and observed the town depicted in John Steinbeck's Cannery Row. Two hours away from San Francisco, we found it to be very touristy and yuppified. We also observed the military and Homeland Security facilities and concluded this was not a progressive hotbed.

The hearing is the fourth of six devoted to public input, or should I say outpouring, since last year's FCC ruling allowing corporations to concentrate more media outlets in fewer hands was stayed and eventually thwarted. Readers of PNN might remember the heretofore unheard uproar to our airwaves' regulators prior to the FCC commisioners' 3-2 vote. Three of those commissioners were present at the hearing, presumably to make up for Powell's absence. The Third Circuit Court in Philadelphia instructed the FCC to hear the vox populi (not just the Fox Network) before taking further action. Already, hearings took place in Charlotte, NC, Grand Rapids, SD, and San Antonio, TX (capital of the Clear Channel and SBC empires).

I took the occasion to give the FCC my two cents' worth in the almost-six hour meeting. I wore a new thrift-store shirt (Perry Ellis) and had a prepared statement for the open mic session. Long story short, a lottery was involved and I drew the wrong number. Attempts to log on to fcc.gov proved fruitless (I had to snail mail it).

On a panel which included Commissioners Kathleen Abernathy, Michael Copps and Michael Adelstein, big media's usual suspects (Hearst-Argyle, Telemundo) were represented. But Hard Knock Radio's Davey D drew applause for his remarks of corporate radio's "public service." Despite what he calls their smoke and mirror act of changing to more community-oriented broadcasting, "they're not institutionalized. They can't just be nice guys doing you a favor!" Davey D was done the favor by Clear Channel's KMEL by taking away his severance package after he spoke on his public firing in the wake of 9/11. He also spoke of recording artists' fear of intimidation and blacklisting if they interview with competing stations. Clear Channel not only owns 1200 stations in the US, but is also a leader in performing venues and outdoor promotion. Davey D also cited the dearth of community affairs programming, often relegated to 5:00am on Sundays. Despite advertising for the "Clear Channel Fund," their service does not include voter registration campaigns or election coverage. According to Davey D, Clear Channel also failed to credit members of the hip-hop audience for monitoring content and making recommendations to the stations once those changes were implemented.

"Distinct communities are ignored," said Hawaii Localism Coalition delegate Sean McLaughlin, when local coverage is de-emphasized. He urged for a "home rule" of community airwaves, including local, diverse ownership, mandatory set-asides for local media resources and more local oversight.

Heartened that the FCC got an earful at the meeting, I still feel obligated to make my position on corporate use of or common space known to the world. Here is the prepared statement I brought:

"My name is TJ Johnston, Community Journalist for poormagazine.org and Poor News Network.

"Poor Magazine is a grassroots, nonprofit, nonhierarchical organization dedicated to providing media access, education, and advocacy to very low- and no-income youth and adults as well as creating a radio show on KPFA-FM 94.1, an online news service and a training program in media and poverty. This is as 'public interest' an outlet could get.

"The communities which PNN serves find it impossible for media conglomerates to address our issues and include our voices. In their current State, the Clear channels, the Infinities and all the other multibillion dollar media corporations are out of touch with our communities and fail to act in the public interest."

Postscript: Sakura, one of the public-interest angels, also articulated our sentiment with a sign with a quote found in Howard Zinn's A History of The United States: "The cry of the poor might not always be just, but if you don't hear it you'll never know what justice is."

by Anna Kirsch/POOR Magazine

In 2003 POOR Magazine launched a new branch to its ever expanding web of media resistance, POOR Press and its education arm; Digital Resistance. In this program, very low and no income adults and youth are given the opportunity to create a book from start to finish, beginning with creative writing, narrative essays and poetry and then progressing to graphic design and layout publishing and promotion. Since its inception, POOR Press has allowed over 46 youth and adult poverty scholars to publish books of artwork, poetry and short stories, sharing their extremely valuable, but all too often ignored, experiences, views and opinions with the world.

This semester, POOR Press is releasing ten amazing, insightful books addressing issues ranging from child abuse and police brutality to homelessness and poverty. Each author in this year’s class has overcome many extremely difficult obstacles and dedicated numerous hours to learning the computer programs necessary to publish their books. These authors have all persevered to share their stories and scholarship.

Written honestly and from the heart, these pieces of writing and artwork are truly unlike anything else found in the corporate world of publishing today. These books allow the reader to experience and learn about the very personal struggles and resistance of the authors

The artists, essayists and poets coming from different positions of poverty, oppression, survival and resistance will be reading, performing and spitting scholarship at a bookstore, club, café or jail near you as part of the Race, Poverty and Resistance Book Tour in tandem with POOR Magazine editor, welfareQUEEN, daughter of dee and poverty scholar Lisa Gray-Garcia aka tiny, whose memoir; Criminal of Poverty; Growing Up Homeless in America will be released on City Lights Press in December. Tiny paints a vivid, intense portrait of her and her mother’s struggle with poverty , homelessness and the growing criminalization of poverty and poor folks in America as well as the fascinating story of the development of the highly innovative grassroots, organization, POOR Magazine and publication of the same name.

The following is the powerful list of POOR Press Publications and the poverty scholars that shared their knowledge and scholarship in each.

Selected Wordz

Jewnbug

Poverty scholar, welfare QUEEN, mother, arts educator and co-founder of the F.A.M.I.L.Y. Project, Jewnbug has authored a collection of metaphorical texts as well as drawn, painted and graphically designed images to raise a new level of consciousness in her readers. Selected Wordz uses speech in a new, inventive way to address spiritual and emotional issues. A self-proclaimed wordsmith, Jewnbug says she is sharing these writings to heal and to encourage consciousness on an extremely deep level. She does not fail in her task to challenge her readers and provide a new, unique perspective on life, language and spirituality. This book has the power to change its readers way of thinking and living.

Why Can't We Play In Our Own Backyard?

Byron Gafford

Another poverty scholar and child abuse survivor, Byron Gafford has taken his own painful experiences and shared them through poetry to educate the public about the numerous problems surrounding the system of foster care and the child protective services. In his third book of poetry, Why Can't We Play in Our Own Backyard? Gafford uniquely addresses the problem of child abuse through simple, eloquent poems told through not just the eyes of a child, but also the voice of an adult survivor. These 34 poems are powerful and open the readers’ eyes extremely wide to the painful reality of child abuse that’s occurring in our own communities everyday.

El Viaje de Una Madre Immigrante

Ingrid De Leon

Ingrid De Leon is an immigrant mother, artist, writer and POOR poverty scholar. Her first POOR Press Publication, El Viaje is a first hand account chronicling her own journey on foot from Guatemala through Mexico and finally into the United States. De Leon shares her own story of struggle, pain and sacrifice. Published in both English and Spanish El Viaje is an extremely powerful, poignant and meaningful story that takes the reader on a journey to a new awareness of the immigrant struggle and the connection that all impoverished humans share.

System Bitch

Ecsta Scene

In the first edition of her zine called System Bitch , poverty scholar, welfare QUEEN and mother, Ecsta Scene has published a collection of what she calls witness statements. Authored by a variety of different people, these witness statements are first hand accounts of people’s interactions with systems in today’s modern world. System Bitch is unlimited in the scope of systems its authors confront, including but not limited to jail, child abuse, work, love, religion and politics. Ecsta Scene has put together a truly insightful collection of work, which begs for further evaluation.

Paradise Ventures II

Marvin Crutchfield

In his second book of poetry, Paradise Ventures II , Marvin Crutchfield shares his strong belief in God, knowledge and newfound peace with the reader. In this collection of 28 poems, Crutchfield boldly and directly states his beliefs and views about the role of Jesus in life. Although direct, his poems don't simply preach about his passionate beliefs, but also tell the story of his own life experiences since finding God in his struggle to come up and out of poverty. Simple and eloquent all at the same time, these poems address the importance of finding peace in the struggle for survival.

Dream Owls

Janie Dickens

A new POOR Press author, Janie Dickens is not only a poverty scholar and digital resistor but also a poet and artist. Her first publication, Dream Owls proves her engaging artistic talent and insightful writing skills. A colorful and playful book, Dream Owls , is a collection of poetry and art about why people are poor. Dream Owls has an enjoyable touch of playfulness while still engaging the reader in challenging subjects such as the environment, homelessness, childhood, and love. Dickens' poetry is full of life and reads to a nice rhythm that flows easily from one poem to the next.

My Life X 4

Jasmine Hain

Twelve-year old Jasmine Hain and her mother Vivian Hain are co-authors of My Life X 4 , which chronicles the four years their family spent living in a store front window during the dot-com boom. The book includes stories, poems, artwork, quotes and reflections of Jasmine, which highlight her remarkable social consciousness and incredible talent. Vivian and Jasmine's collaboration on the book emphasize the unique and sacred bond the mother and daughter share. My Life X 4 provides a new perspective on poverty, one that is not heard in traditional media today and should be read by all.

Citizens, Civilians Over Corruption:Savagely Removed Occupant (S.R.O)

Marlon Crump

Marlon Crump is a poverty scholar, digital resistor and extremely talented author whose debut book, Citizen, Civilians Over Corruption: Savagely Removed Occupant (S.R.O.) appears as a fictionalized account of a future where poverty and injustice run rampant in the wake of police corruption The story, however, was inspired by Crump's own experience with police, who illegally stormed his S.R.O. and arrested him for a crime he did not commit. Using his unique first-hand experience with police brutality, Crump, through this thoroughly interesting story, sheds light on the barriers that exist between race, poverty, and law enforcement. A truly enjoyable, informative and educational, novel, Citizen, Civilians Over Corruption: Savagely Removed Occupant is a shinning first novel.

Reflections of Unknown Artists

Dharma

Dharma, welfareQUEEN, poet, musician, artist and graphic designer, has created a visual and literary montage of poetry, art and essay focused on the struggle, survival and resistance of a African Queen living and trying to thrive in the Bay Area in 2006, with her book; Reflections of Unknown Artists

Ask Joe Holding Up the Sky

Joseph Bolden

Poverty scholar, digital resistor, founding member of POOR Magazine and SRO tenant, Joseph Bolden provides his readers with a funny, insightful collection of his POOR Magazine columns. Bolden shares the dreams, thoughts and desires of a very low-income man living in a 21st century media-informed universe. He explores relationships, gender differences, technology and much more, disclosing his brutally honest opinions, views and experiences.

To purchase any of these books for innovative, revolutionary holiday gifts, please call 415.863.6306

To book a reading, workshop or performance with the artists on the Race, Poverty and Resistance Tour please email deeandtiny@poormagazine.org or call POOR at 415-863-6306. Another aspect of the tour is a series of talks, symposiums and workshops focused specifically on the increasing trend of criminalizing poor communities of color locally and globally, for more information on this national tour please email anna@poormagazine.org

See below for the current calendar of readings and performances

Upcoming Book Tour Events

Wed Jan 10th, 6-7:30 p.m. San Francisco Public Library Civic Center See Tiny read and speak from her new book, Criminal of Poverty at the Radar Reading Series, which features emerging and underground writers performing new work. Hosted by Michelle Tea FREE

Thurs Jan 11th, 7 p.m. City Lights Bookstore @ 261 Columbus Ave. & Broadway, SF FREE

Thurs, Feb. 8th 6 p.m. Modern Times Bookstore @ 888 Valencia St, SF FREE

Wed, April 11th Intersection for the Arts @446 Valencia (bet. 14th & 15th St.) SF FREE

For more information on tickets or to book a date, Call POOR Magazine at 415-863-6306

You can also catch the POOR Mag Poverty and Race Scholars on their monthly radio show on KPFA�s morning show at 94.1 F.M.