I'm a imperfect looking person but Its too late now for my brain-optical defect The future is here,time to make the best of it.
what is a perfect looking human?
only time and technology will help.
|
by Joe B. Imperfections I will talk about something deeply personal for me. I’ve talked about my lazy left eye,how it could’ve been corrected by a flesh colored (tan brown) plastic eye patch worn over the good right eye to strengthen the weaker left one. Not listening to my parents,peeking through the patch destroys what could have been two good eyes. Ok,really messed up because no kid wants to seen as different, developmentally slow (then called retarded) and riding the yellow bus to school didn’t help. Making up stories to spend the time that was fun because it opens up all our imaginations about the future and what we could do when we get older. Trying athletics is a disaster like being hit in the right eye by a yellow plastic puck,too lightweight for foot ball. Able to help girls with homework but not as a date or as a substitute one until someone else comes by,the third wheel of a couple as comic relief. Bookworm, only swimming, weight training,and learning martial arts help build much needed confidence. Skip all the fights, jokes about the lazy eyes and children wanting to look straight or scaring some. The first few girls, women ignore that and have a pleasant surprise – listening to love instructions,retaining them,coming up with variations. Being publishing a poetry chap book Poetry Flash,helps build more confidence in myself over the years. Swimming,Weight training,and Martial Arts became spotty then less and less as time went on and gaining employment looms as more important. Different low wage, dead end,jobs,becoming houseless,travel to Los Angeles and back to Oakland then San Francisco. During these desperate times a lazy eye is of no importance surviving, living through a houseless existence is. Writing,losing it, learning black and white photography,getting publishing short stories, poems in transitional housing newsletter. Getting off General Assistance and onto Work Fare in the mid 1990’s working for Goodwill Industries PC program brushing up on computer basics,programs and while working for Poor Magazine part time. It was difficult coming up with the $30 dollars 3 separate times for 3 months but I made a commitment and stuck with it.) I had volunteered on and off for Poor M,sometimes got paid for work contributed by photography or writing food reviews, poems,or articles. After Goodwill I had to find work a telemarketing job. "Read the script if this doesn’t work,say this, and if not,then this." It’s a disaster I considered it not selling but lying to make sell, make a sale,get a commission. I didn’t last through the first or second practice call. Luckily Poor Magazine is up and running and Mr. Shawn,the staff writer is there and he left for Oakland leaving an opening for me. That was way back in 1998 now six year later I feel I’ve learned a lot and its my time to go and let someone else have a crack at this organization. I go to work with time to stop off at the post office to see about a letter that’s been delayed for a few weeks. While walking to my goal a young black girl and white guy walks in my direction. The woman did a cringe of distaste which I see but did not acknowledge heading into the mailbox. The letter has not arrived,I go out,the woman is talking to some other woman and I hear laughter as I pass. I don’t know if it’s nervous laughter or derision but I have not had that happen to me for years. I always wonder having a slightly scientific bent that someone has a great exterior look is the interior the same? The letter didn’t show again today,I go out, see the woman talking to someone. I want to speak to her about her reaction to me but thought better of it knowing it would look as if a crazy,cross eye,angry guy is attacking her verbally. She’d look perfectly innocent as I stood next to her ranting at her. It proves to me that fairy tales,TV shows about Beauty and the beast is that fiction. The true reaction is what the woman showed in her cringing,startled reaction. It’s not only that but afterwards the laughter which I don’t know is a nervous reaction or derision. What galls me is that women who are supposedly more sensitive,emotive, almost empathic to others pain. She proved not all are and can be as hurtful and anyone. Also women know how to mask their feelings like chameleons changing colors against predators but not to me I was beneath her did it I was so under her contempt that she need not hide her revulsion or my repulsive look of imperfection. I’ve too learned to hide my immediate reaction but she did not maybe she feels superior in looks and brain department but as you can see she’s does not write down her reaction she just reacts and kept walking – I could be wrong and it was an accidental hick up of emotional realism. Human’s are not yet perfected beings some have perfect bodies,some minds, others,enhanced senses, but few have if perfect but clean uncorrupted by cosmic, organic human made radiated mutation. For perfection to even begin we must see pristine genes,give them a protective coating,slowly build better ones and replace bad ones with good all with no self replicating protective shielding. Find,reconstruct molecularly bone, skin, and muscle until all is connected,improved. What I have describes is Gene Enhanced Cosmetic Beauty from the interior to interior. Since it’s now known we many aspects and many standards of what beauty, handsome,cute,or what’s hot is. Anyone can be beautiful, have physical flaws genetic in origin replaced and people made the way they should’ve been in spite of nature or genes conspiring with Kismet. Who knows if I live long enough I might not only regain youthful vigor,but also have much better features of face and body than originally born with. Even the body I’m might be an improved cloned version of my original or another body completely with my electro-chemical essence encased within soft brain tissue or on a silicon chip. Ok,I really went far a field of imperfection but I know its coming if not in this country then in another. I’m an American, and I’ll never betray my country but as thinking sentient being to preserved my unique identity I must do everything I can to seek,pull,break open that other door – the door to prolonged life span if not immortality. Well,that’s my thoughts today,what have you to say readers?
|