You Better Open Your Eyes

pstrongIT’s Your Business:Men’s March To stop Domestic Violence /strong/p pDIV align="left" TABLE cellpadding="5"TR VALIGN="TOP"TDIMG SRC= "../sites/default/files/arch_img/553/photo_1_supplement.jpg" //td/trTR VALIGN="TOP"TD/td/trTR VALIGN="TOP"TDTR VALIGN="TOP"TD pby Isabel Estrada/p pThe prevalent message at iIt's Your Business/i, an event organized by the Family Violence Prevention Fund in cooperationbr / with the Maxine Hall Health center, insisted that the issue of domestic violence is the entirebr / community's responsibility. For this reason the focus of the march andbr / meeting was not only on the victims but also very much on the perpetratorsbr / and the entire community./p pI arrived at the Third Baptist Church on Pierce and MacAllister, where thebr / march was to begin at 12 o'clock, feeling slightly awkward in a predominantlybr / male, African-American group. However, I was soon reassured. Everybody wasbr / smiling and I was immediately introduced to Reverend Lazanius Johnson, whobr / would be the main speaker. The group was small, about 35 people in all. Mostly men as well as some women and adorable children lead the march.br / One small boy wearing a red sweatshirt held a sign that read iBrother's andbr / Sisters, Let's Talk About It, There's No Excuse for Abuse/i. However, thebr / size of the group seemed to have no affect on the strength of the message. /p pAs we walked down Pierce towards our destination, the Fillmore Mini Park, ourbr / voices emanated a loud and powerful chant, "It's Your Business. It's ourbr / Business. Stop Domestic Violence." I laughed as I noticed one man staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed from hisbr / Victorian house as we passed. Another White man in full army fatigues didn'tbr / seem to notice what was going on until a member of our group handed him abr / blue and white "There's NO Excuse for Domestic Violence" bumper sticker,br / calling him brother as he did so. As we passed more people in the Western Addition a fewbr / kids looked at us as if we were crazy, but then a woman started clapping tobr / our rhythm from across the street as we passed. /p pWhen we arrived at the mini park, more people converged. As the time went bybr / they seemed to get younger. Before beginning, Reverend Johnson urged folks tobr / step forward, breaking any tension there might have been by saying, "Come awaybr / from the tables, ain't nobody going to take the food." He blessed God,br / Allah, Buddha and any other deity that stands for peace and love. He thenbr / led the group in singing the iNegro National Anthem/i. The anthem holds abr / powerful message and assures that the past is not forgotten, especially inbr / the second verse./p p i Stony the road we trod,br / br /Bitter the chastening rod,br / br / Felt in the days when hope unborn had died;br / br / Yet with steady beat,br / br /Have not our weary feetbr / br /Come to the place for which our fathers sighed?br / br /We have come over a way that with tears have been watered,br / br /We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered,br / br /Out from the gloomy past,br / br /Till now we stand at lastbr / br /Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast. /i/p pLinda Mack Burch, who organized the entire event, spoke next. She again madebr / the point that in order to conquer domestic violence, people cannot simply bebr / focused on their own problems, but must take the initiative for the entirebr / community. She spoke confidently while making quick gestures, "It takes abr / village, we are a village, to stop domestic violence." As even more peoplebr / arrived, Ms. Burch made her frustration concerning the excessive violence inbr / all forms in her community apparent. "We are tired," she calls out. /p pThebr / next speaker, Matty Scott, continued in the same vein and further insistedbr / that violence was an issue that seriously needed to be addressed by thebr / African-American community. She stated that it wasn't the police who neededbr / to intervene, the community needed to unite to handle its own problems./p pWhen Eddy Moor from RSVP spoke he insisted that "it's all aboutbr / accountability." He felt that as long as people continue to blame their ownbr / violence on others, or on the situation they find themselves in, violence would notbr / end. He made it clear that in an abusive relationship, it is not only thebr / victim's responsibility to seek help, but also the abuser's. /p pA silence fell upon the crowd as the reverend asked if there was anyonebr / willing to share their own experiences with abuse. For awhile everyonebr / seemed to exude discomfort, including myself. /p pI immediately began to questionbr / what exactly constituted abuse. I have never been in a physically abusivebr / relationship, but does that mean that I have never been abused? When I wasbr / ten-years-old I went out with a nineteen-year-old who had been sexuallybr / abused by a woman when he was a little boy. Many would think that just thebr / difference in age was bad for me. But there were other issues. Takingbr / advantage of my naiveté and the fact that I was still very much scared ofbr / ghosts, seriously, he constantly lied to me and often tried to make me feelbr / scared. I'm not exactly sure what qualifies as abuse but I know that when hebr / left, I was completely devastated by and ashamed of our relationship. It'sbr / odd how it would take me this long (seven years) and a march against domesticbr / abuse to question whether I too may have been a victim of emotional abuse. /p pSince I don't often like to think about this relationship, in which I wasbr / never hurt physically, I can certainly see how shame and denial plays a hugebr / part in the fact that battered women often go years without ever seekingbr / help. /p pWell, one woman had the courage to approach the microphone. I recognized herbr / as one of the first women who had welcomed me with a smile at the beginningbr / of the march. She started out by saying, "I thank the Lord for thisbr / community." She then proceeded to tell us of how she had been abused forbr / 12 years by her brother and then for four years by her ex-boyfriend. "Ibr / used to hate my brother," she said, "But God showed me that something wasbr / wrong with him." Shouts of agreements arose as she continued, "Thebr / perpetrators have been abused also." She then told us of how her brother,br / before he had died of cancer had asked only that she forgive him. Bybr / forgiving him, she was able to take the position of power that she had so beenbr / deprived of. /p pShe continued talking about violence in general in thebr / African-American community and stated, "We can't let society pit us againstbr / each other." As many of the other speakers had done, she was emphasizingbr / that the African-American community had to take care of itself. It seemsbr / that when the law steps in, it only means more violence. /p pAgain, the reverend took the stage but this time he spoke more directly to allbr / of us. "You are all black queens, you are all queens and you need to bebr / treated as such," his voice boomed. Shouts of acknowledgment grew from ourbr / throats. I really did feel proud to be a woman as he spoke those words. Hebr / then cast away any distant air he may have had as a respected reverend andbr / began talking directly to those who were not attending the event. "You can'tbr / sell no more dope on the corner," he shouted menacingly over and over againbr / directly to a group of young men huddled on the corner. The whole audiencebr / participated, echoing what the reverend would say. "We're going to get allbr / the crack people into institutions," he shouted. He doesn't just want to getbr / rid of people; he wants to help them. The reverend maintained that a greatbr / deal of the violence was due to "people closing their eyes." He made itbr / clear that ending violence not only in the Western Addition but in some sensebr / the whole world, was everybody's responsibility. /p p/pPNext, a tall, big man approached the stage. He too had earlier been at the marchbr / and I had noticed that his voice had been louder than all the others.br / He was the gospel rap artist Bigg E. Through his music he told the storybr / of how finding religion had lifted him out of being a dope addict on thebr / street. "I went from selling dope to smoking dope. I couldn't find a way outbr / until I found the Lord Jesus Christ." /p pThis was a very religious crowd so thebr / praise rang high. "All I want to do is live a righteous life, get my Jesusbr / on, keep it real, keep it right." One set of lyrics that I foundbr / particularly interesting exemplified a difference in the methods of religionbr / practiced by African-Americans as opposed to others. "Ain't no party like abr / Holy Ghost party 'cause a Holy Ghost party don't stop." /p pWhen I asked the reverend what had prompted this march he mentioned how hisbr / sister had died of breast cancer and how a local community member named Mariebr / had been stabbed 20 times by her partner. Both incidents had occurred inbr / the past year, making him think it a good time to bring the communitybr / together to create a base of support. As I left, the festivities continuedbr / and I could hear the strong, soulful voice of a woman singing jazz as Ibr / waited for the 22 Fillmore bus./p pLately I have been learning about some aspects of African-American culture.br / Mainly I Have been learning about how African-Americans have generally grown up in a morebr / community based system of eldership in which it is everyone's responsibilitybr / to care for and discipline those younger than them. Western culture tends tobr / put emphasis on being separated. I have often seen White parents get mad ifbr / anyone else attempts to discipline their child. This event certainly attestsbr / to the fact that a great number of African-Americans in the Westernbr / Addition have a desire to care for their entire community. They don't wantbr / to just allow people to get carted off to prison or to allow people to do asbr / they wish behind closed doors. They want everybody to participate in creatingbr / a safer and more peaceful environment. The reverend had no problem yellingbr / out at those standing on the corner because he most likely feels asbr / responsible for them as he may feel for his own child. /p pThis was an inspiring event. I wish that our whole society would take thebr / example of this African-American community and start caring for everyonebr / else, regardless of any actual family ties, as though we were all related tobr / each other as brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, mothers and fathers. Thebr / message again: IT'S YOUR BUSINESS, IT'S OUR BUSINESS, STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!/p pIf you or anyone you know is being abused physically or emotionally pleasebr / seek help by calling 1 (800) 799-SAFE (Family Violence Prevention Fund). Somebr / resources for men who batter include, Manalive (415) 979-5933, Men'sbr / Hotline (24-hour) (415) 924-1070 and MOVE (415) 777-4496.br / /p/td/tr/td/tr/table/div/p