Original Post Date
2001-12-21 12:00 AM
Original Body
pstrongIT’s Your Business:Men’s March To stop Domestic Violence /strong/p
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pby Isabel Estrada/p
pThe prevalent message at iIt's Your Business/i, an event organized by the Family Violence Prevention Fund in cooperationbr /
with the Maxine Hall Health center, insisted that the issue of domestic violence is the entirebr /
community's responsibility. For this reason the focus of the march andbr /
meeting was not only on the victims but also very much on the perpetratorsbr /
and the entire community./p
pI arrived at the Third Baptist Church on Pierce and MacAllister, where thebr /
march was to begin at 12 o'clock, feeling slightly awkward in a predominantlybr /
male, African-American group. However, I was soon reassured. Everybody wasbr /
smiling and I was immediately introduced to Reverend Lazanius Johnson, whobr /
would be the main speaker. The group was small, about 35 people in all. Mostly men as well as some women and adorable children lead the march.br /
One small boy wearing a red sweatshirt held a sign that read iBrother's andbr /
Sisters, Let's Talk About It, There's No Excuse for Abuse/i. However, thebr /
size of the group seemed to have no affect on the strength of the message. /p
pAs we walked down Pierce towards our destination, the Fillmore Mini Park, ourbr /
voices emanated a loud and powerful chant, "It's Your Business. It's ourbr /
Business. Stop Domestic Violence." I laughed as I noticed one man staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed from hisbr /
Victorian house as we passed. Another White man in full army fatigues didn'tbr /
seem to notice what was going on until a member of our group handed him abr /
blue and white "There's NO Excuse for Domestic Violence" bumper sticker,br /
calling him brother as he did so. As we passed more people in the Western Addition a fewbr /
kids looked at us as if we were crazy, but then a woman started clapping tobr /
our rhythm from across the street as we passed. /p
pWhen we arrived at the mini park, more people converged. As the time went bybr /
they seemed to get younger. Before beginning, Reverend Johnson urged folks tobr /
step forward, breaking any tension there might have been by saying, "Come awaybr /
from the tables, ain't nobody going to take the food." He blessed God,br /
Allah, Buddha and any other deity that stands for peace and love. He thenbr /
led the group in singing the iNegro National Anthem/i. The anthem holds abr /
powerful message and assures that the past is not forgotten, especially inbr /
the second verse./p
p i Stony the road we trod,br /
br /Bitter the chastening rod,br /
br / Felt in the days when hope unborn had died;br /
br / Yet with steady beat,br /
br /Have not our weary feetbr /
br /Come to the place for which our fathers sighed?br /
br /We have come over a way that with tears have been watered,br /
br /We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered,br /
br /Out from the gloomy past,br /
br /Till now we stand at lastbr /
br /Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast. /i/p
pLinda Mack Burch, who organized the entire event, spoke next. She again madebr /
the point that in order to conquer domestic violence, people cannot simply bebr /
focused on their own problems, but must take the initiative for the entirebr /
community. She spoke confidently while making quick gestures, "It takes abr /
village, we are a village, to stop domestic violence." As even more peoplebr /
arrived, Ms. Burch made her frustration concerning the excessive violence inbr /
all forms in her community apparent. "We are tired," she calls out. /p
pThebr /
next speaker, Matty Scott, continued in the same vein and further insistedbr /
that violence was an issue that seriously needed to be addressed by thebr /
African-American community. She stated that it wasn't the police who neededbr /
to intervene, the community needed to unite to handle its own problems./p
pWhen Eddy Moor from RSVP spoke he insisted that "it's all aboutbr /
accountability." He felt that as long as people continue to blame their ownbr /
violence on others, or on the situation they find themselves in, violence would notbr /
end. He made it clear that in an abusive relationship, it is not only thebr /
victim's responsibility to seek help, but also the abuser's. /p
pA silence fell upon the crowd as the reverend asked if there was anyonebr /
willing to share their own experiences with abuse. For awhile everyonebr /
seemed to exude discomfort, including myself. /p
pI immediately began to questionbr /
what exactly constituted abuse. I have never been in a physically abusivebr /
relationship, but does that mean that I have never been abused? When I wasbr /
ten-years-old I went out with a nineteen-year-old who had been sexuallybr /
abused by a woman when he was a little boy. Many would think that just thebr /
difference in age was bad for me. But there were other issues. Takingbr /
advantage of my naiveté and the fact that I was still very much scared ofbr /
ghosts, seriously, he constantly lied to me and often tried to make me feelbr /
scared. I'm not exactly sure what qualifies as abuse but I know that when hebr /
left, I was completely devastated by and ashamed of our relationship. It'sbr /
odd how it would take me this long (seven years) and a march against domesticbr /
abuse to question whether I too may have been a victim of emotional abuse. /p
pSince I don't often like to think about this relationship, in which I wasbr /
never hurt physically, I can certainly see how shame and denial plays a hugebr /
part in the fact that battered women often go years without ever seekingbr /
help. /p
pWell, one woman had the courage to approach the microphone. I recognized herbr /
as one of the first women who had welcomed me with a smile at the beginningbr /
of the march. She started out by saying, "I thank the Lord for thisbr /
community." She then proceeded to tell us of how she had been abused forbr /
12 years by her brother and then for four years by her ex-boyfriend. "Ibr /
used to hate my brother," she said, "But God showed me that something wasbr /
wrong with him." Shouts of agreements arose as she continued, "Thebr /
perpetrators have been abused also." She then told us of how her brother,br /
before he had died of cancer had asked only that she forgive him. Bybr /
forgiving him, she was able to take the position of power that she had so beenbr /
deprived of. /p
pShe continued talking about violence in general in thebr /
African-American community and stated, "We can't let society pit us againstbr /
each other." As many of the other speakers had done, she was emphasizingbr /
that the African-American community had to take care of itself. It seemsbr /
that when the law steps in, it only means more violence. /p
pAgain, the reverend took the stage but this time he spoke more directly to allbr /
of us. "You are all black queens, you are all queens and you need to bebr /
treated as such," his voice boomed. Shouts of acknowledgment grew from ourbr /
throats. I really did feel proud to be a woman as he spoke those words. Hebr /
then cast away any distant air he may have had as a respected reverend andbr /
began talking directly to those who were not attending the event. "You can'tbr /
sell no more dope on the corner," he shouted menacingly over and over againbr /
directly to a group of young men huddled on the corner. The whole audiencebr /
participated, echoing what the reverend would say. "We're going to get allbr /
the crack people into institutions," he shouted. He doesn't just want to getbr /
rid of people; he wants to help them. The reverend maintained that a greatbr /
deal of the violence was due to "people closing their eyes." He made itbr /
clear that ending violence not only in the Western Addition but in some sensebr /
the whole world, was everybody's responsibility. /p
p/pPNext, a tall, big man approached the stage. He too had earlier been at the marchbr /
and I had noticed that his voice had been louder than all the others.br /
He was the gospel rap artist Bigg E. Through his music he told the storybr /
of how finding religion had lifted him out of being a dope addict on thebr /
street. "I went from selling dope to smoking dope. I couldn't find a way outbr /
until I found the Lord Jesus Christ." /p
pThis was a very religious crowd so thebr /
praise rang high. "All I want to do is live a righteous life, get my Jesusbr /
on, keep it real, keep it right." One set of lyrics that I foundbr /
particularly interesting exemplified a difference in the methods of religionbr /
practiced by African-Americans as opposed to others. "Ain't no party like abr /
Holy Ghost party 'cause a Holy Ghost party don't stop." /p
pWhen I asked the reverend what had prompted this march he mentioned how hisbr /
sister had died of breast cancer and how a local community member named Mariebr /
had been stabbed 20 times by her partner. Both incidents had occurred inbr /
the past year, making him think it a good time to bring the communitybr /
together to create a base of support. As I left, the festivities continuedbr /
and I could hear the strong, soulful voice of a woman singing jazz as Ibr /
waited for the 22 Fillmore bus./p
pLately I have been learning about some aspects of African-American culture.br /
Mainly I Have been learning about how African-Americans have generally grown up in a morebr /
community based system of eldership in which it is everyone's responsibilitybr /
to care for and discipline those younger than them. Western culture tends tobr /
put emphasis on being separated. I have often seen White parents get mad ifbr /
anyone else attempts to discipline their child. This event certainly attestsbr /
to the fact that a great number of African-Americans in the Westernbr /
Addition have a desire to care for their entire community. They don't wantbr /
to just allow people to get carted off to prison or to allow people to do asbr /
they wish behind closed doors. They want everybody to participate in creatingbr /
a safer and more peaceful environment. The reverend had no problem yellingbr /
out at those standing on the corner because he most likely feels asbr /
responsible for them as he may feel for his own child. /p
pThis was an inspiring event. I wish that our whole society would take thebr /
example of this African-American community and start caring for everyonebr /
else, regardless of any actual family ties, as though we were all related tobr /
each other as brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, mothers and fathers. Thebr /
message again: IT'S YOUR BUSINESS, IT'S OUR BUSINESS, STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!/p
pIf you or anyone you know is being abused physically or emotionally pleasebr /
seek help by calling 1 (800) 799-SAFE (Family Violence Prevention Fund). Somebr /
resources for men who batter include, Manalive (415) 979-5933, Men'sbr /
Hotline (24-hour) (415) 924-1070 and MOVE (415) 777-4496.br /
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