Break The Silence Stop The Violence.. (NOW!)

pstrongThe City's Youth speak out against domestic violence/strong/p pDIV align="left" TABLE cellpadding="5"TR VALIGN="TOP"TDIMG SRC= "../sites/default/files/arch_img/543/photo_1_supplement.jpg" //td/trTR VALIGN="TOP"TD/td/trTR VALIGN="TOP"TDTR VALIGN="TOP"TD pby Isabel Estrada/Youth in the MEdia Intern/p pI was headed to Break The Silence Stop the Violence, an event concerningbr / domestic violence dedicated to Claire Joyce Tempongko, a young woman who wasbr / murdered by her ex-boyfriend in front of her children. As the event began atbr / eight o'clock and I had to get to where it was at Howard and Sixth Streetsbr / from where I live in the Mission alone, I waded through more than the usualbr / number of guys saying "shit" to me. I was wearing long, loose, black pantsbr / and button up shirt with a sweater and poofy vest over it, nothing that to mebr / asks for any kind of attention. But there you have it. I always walkbr / quickly, staring coldly and too-steadily ahead for fear my eyes mightbr / accidentally wander over to the wrong guy. In that case I may see an old guybr / with his tongue waving around at me or, as has happened at least three timesbr / in my life, my eyes could land directly on the frustrated masturbation ofbr / some guy. /pp I remember the first time that happened. I was walking along 16thbr / street when I was eight with my stepsister who was 12. It was dark out sobr / when I saw some odd movement out of the corner of my eye I wasn't quite surebr / what was going on. Then I heard "ohhhh, my big floppy dick," and I wasbr / stunned, disgusted and very violated all in one second. /ppWe both hesitatedbr / quickly and then continued walking. As the louder, more hot-tempered sisterbr / I yelled back "you fucking asshole." We then walked all the way to the endbr / of the block, then crossed the street and started back where we came from.br / It seems that the man hadn't had his fill of fun for the night because as webr / came back we saw that he had crossed the street and was again with his pantsbr / around his knees as we passed. I freaked out and grabbed my sister to runbr / but she held me back. She later explained that she didn't think he couldbr / come after us very quickly with his pants around his knees and thereforebr / didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing us run./p pMen have this constant power of intimidation over women. It's ridiculous.br / There is no comparable situation in which a man can feel as violated andbr / frightened of an unknown woman on the street. Sure we can hurt men in otherbr / ways but we don't have that immediate ascendancy over any man that they canbr / enact with us women just with a single revolting look./p pI wasn't in a particularly sociable mood so when I saw the SOLD OUT sign onbr / the door of the Bindlestiff Theater, housing the event, I was relieved.br / However I could not give up so easily so I rang the doorbell several timesbr / anyway. Eventually someone came out saying I could come in, but that therebr / wouldn't be much room because it was really packed. I'm glad now becausebr / otherwise I would have missed a very special and educational event./p pThe small theater had a warm, personal feel to it. Or maybe that was justbr / caused by the fact that its 60 or so seats were filled, then there were aboutbr / four rows of people sitting in front on the floor added to all the peoplebr / standing around me at the entrance. The space was very dark because theybr / were about to project one of the digital stories that would be interspersedbr / with music and speakers throughout the night./p pThe first one was titled "Lost Boy" and was written and created by Charlesbr / Emmet Stewart. Initially the images consisted of pictures of the family withbr / a woman who I assumed was the mother. She had a sweet smile and acceptingbr / eyes. The narrative was a poem speaking about how the father who beat thisbr / woman completely tore apart the family. It also touched on a common factorbr / in many cases of domestic violence; the ineptitude of the police when calledbr / in for cases. In many situations, they just never show up "they're stuck inbr / their squad cars eating donuts," as the mother is "dead on the bed with abr / pillow to her head." A young man with his back to the viewer, and his headbr / down, facing a gray brick wall was another powerful image. In the end thebr / only way the lost boy could "stop all the pain" was to go to the top of abr / tall building. "He ran and flew, the pain went away‚and you can't fix abr / shattered soul." The audience was overwhelmed by the images of the sweetbr / mother, which contrasted with the bitter story line; the applause grew./p pNext spoke Missy, a young woman from United Playaz, an organization gearedbr / towards Gang Prevention. She spoke about the cycle of violence in generalbr / and how fright and confusion are often what causes it to begin. People oftenbr / fear the unknown, so when we are confronted with hard times, such asbr / unemployment, or when we are the victims of unfair prejudice, we tend to lashbr / out in violent ways. This only causes fright and confusion in other peoplebr / and thus one cycle of violence begins. The police are a special link in thisbr / cycle as they often fear those who they are supposed to be protecting andbr / therefore act in uncalled for ways. A good example is the case of Idrissbr / Stelley, a mentally disabled man, who was shot dead at the Metreon theaterbr / recently. (Apparently the officer had no training in how to deal withbr / mentally disabled people; his fright caused him to shoot when he should havebr / known that Mr. Stelley desperately needed help.) Missy ended by putting itbr / to all people to "take the initiative" to stop the violence./p pThen a group of kids, maybe aged ten to seventeen came on the stage, ready tobr / rap. Their name: Papa Joe's Crew, and they're from the Excelsior branch ofbr / the Columbia Boys and Girls Club. The youngest of them included Yogi,br / Double, Young D., Little CP and Vicious. The boys started out indignantlybr / "they think we're thugs [but we're not]." Then another young man came outbr / and again addressed the cycle of violence, "bad choices come back hungry forbr / blood‚ and What's on the street? Nothing but hate." Towards the end three boysbr / with one girl dedicated a song to all mothers saying "Mama I love you, Mama Ibr / need you."/p pAs the Excelsior kids cleared the stage, exuding boundless energy, our verybr / own Youth in the Media intern Mari, one of the hosts, announced that Markbr / Mitchell's digital video would be up next. He was a tall, stately man with abr / deep, sincere voice who somewhat bashfully came up to the stage to presentbr / his video called "Hate." Mitchell spoke of how his childhood memoriesbr / consisted mostly of "pictures and actions, not words." He recalls the "spitbr / of rage coming from his [father's] lips" as he yelled at Mark's mother,br / before he would take off his belt and whip her. In the video Mark mentions,br / to my amazement, that his mother is still with his father. When he told hisbr / mother that she was strong and asked her why she stayed with the man who hadbr / always beaten her she responded "I'm not strong, God is strong." Mark alsobr / mentions his worry when she told him, "you are your father's son," and thenbr / says, "I hope one day I'll have the strength to stop being my father's sonbr / and be my own man." This seemed an incredibly important statement. So oftenbr / women are seen as weak for allowing themselves to be victims of domesticbr / violence, but the weakness of the man who is so emotionally weak that hebr / cannot control his emotions and insecurities is not often brought up./p pBefore intermission, Mari put out a message of hope, saying that if anyonebr / out there is suffering as a result of domestic violence, that help does existbr / and that there are many others suffering from similar situations. She madebr / the point that "you are not alone."/p pNext up was the rapper Kiwi who brought his usual energy and range ofbr / socially conscious lyrics to the stage. He sang about Sweatshops in thebr / Philippines, about lack of adequate education for children, while in abr / different tune he also sang about love, "the strongest and weakest emotion."br / But he also struck a positive note in his songs: the possibility of fightingbr / back, in his case, through words, "you can't retain me, my spirit is toobr / strong my tongue is a double edged blade, I give multiple stab wounds tobr / thebr / mic."/p pB.J. Garcia's video, "Holes in the Wall" was for me the most touching. Thebr / language was honest and evocative. The images were of chained hands, lockedbr / doors and smiling women. Speaking of his father he said "I kept my backbr / straight so next to him I could stand. He stood so tall and his rage becamebr / my tears." B.J.'s video also touched on an important aspect of domesticbr / violence which is verbal abuse. It's as though verbal abuse takes away allbr / the woman's pride so that she can't fight back when she is being physicallybr / abused. He speaks of how his father would complain of the hours she wouldbr / spend in front of the mirror, saying to his son "her face is still ugly sobr / why does she care?" B.J. ends his film telling his father, "I see you as mybr / enemy and not my dad."/p pThe three young men who made up the group Renaissance were up next. Thebr / people's apathy seemed to be a main theme for them, "Mary J. got me starin'br / at the ceiling." "In fear or anger your IQ drops 20 to thirty points," onebr / of the men mentioned as an explanation for why people are allowing thebr / government free reign to wire tap phone conversations among other civilbr / liberty violations. "Put your hands up," they shouted and my hand went up, Ibr / could feel the beat bouncing, tangible, in the palm of my hand. Another bigbr / topic for this group was to "live life from the perspective of self‚ and thebr / truest revolution starts from self." Unfortunately when they asked "if youbr / love yourself, make some noise," we, the audience, were a little slow tobr / respond. It's odd, I sometimes get stuck thinking that generally certainbr / groups of people are the ones who have problems with self-esteem, but no,br / it's everyone. I belong to a mass of insecure beings headed by groups ofbr / other insecure beings who have control over bombs that can destroy the entirebr / world. How comforting!/p pAnyway, here come Mari again, but this time to present her video, The Rosebr / That Nobody Wanted. But first she encourages everybody to really listen tobr / children when they say they don't want to go home. She says that she isbr / aware that often kids don't want to go home because they may just want tobr / play but when she was a child she didn't want to go home because she wasbr / getting physically abused. It's worth it to really try to listen tobr / children. Mari's video is filled with faceless people, pictures of herbr / family with their faces rubbed. She speaks of getting beaten until she wasbr / "black, blue and red." She grew up with "screaming, yelling, fighting, mebr / and my sister hiding‚ screaming,please, please, I didn't do it." In this case it wasbr / her mother who abused her and her sister. She speaks of the embarrassmentbr / she felt when her friends would ask her where she had gotten so many bruises./p p However Mari ends with a positive note, "the cycle of violence will and hasbr / to stop with me."/p pThe night ends with the band Revolutionareez. I enjoyed the music which wasbr / an eclectic mix of alternative with hip-hop and then a woman who sounded kindbr / of bluesy in the background. The thing that was slightly annoying was thatbr / this woman had an absolutely gorgeous voice and yet in every song she was just the background singer. Then when a spontaneous break dancing circlebr / formed some men got out and danced in the middle but most of the women werebr / just dancing on the sidelines (very much including me). The only girl that Ibr / remember who was willing to be in the middle of the circle formation wasbr / Mari; other then that it was only men. It makes me mad at myself and atbr / other women that we tend not to assert ourselves, not to bring attention tobr / ourselves except physically. As though we were ornamentation for men. It's really true; the change has to come from within./p p/p/td/tr/td/tr/table/div/p