FRIGGIN' FED FOUL-UP

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PUBLIC DEATH HORRORS

Feds say, "OopS."

Attorney General Ashcroft says, "Uh-oh."

Surviving victims of Oklahoma bomb say, "Dang it!"

by Joseph Bolden

April 16, 2001 was supposed to be Mr. Timothy McVeigh’s last day on Earth. "Oops, uh-oh, dang it!" The Federal Government didn’t give all the evidence to his defense attorneys. It turns out Mr. McVeigh may not have been properly defended, even though he confessed to the April 19,1995 bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. Attorney General John Ashcroft, because of the possible breach the of law, changed Mr. McVeigh’s execution date to May 16, 2001.

The feds say, "Oops," Attorney General Ashcroft goes, "Uh-oh," and the poor surviving citizens off this tragedy, who are in mental and physical anguish, say, "Dang friggin’ feds screwed up again!" They’re saying, "We want this guy’s ass gassed, burning in Hades forever." To many Oklahomans, execution by lethal gas chamber is too quick and merciful a death for McVeigh.

And McVeigh’s reaction? "See I told you they’re incompetent." This public bloodlust is unsettling even if it serves Oklahoma’s victims. We have had public executions before–they were called "hangings" and many of its victims were more innocent than guilty. Are we headed back to this?

Here’s a better idea. We could use our vaunted technology and disconnect McVeigh ‘s brain from his body, keeping both intact by using virtual simulation. With his body still connected virtually to his brain, his body could be made to feel the pain of different kinds of burning by using virtual reality technology. His body could burn from virtual fires and could be continuously regenerated as it endures Hell-on-Earth burning sensations. Or we could stimulate only the pain centers in his brain and he would go insane from the constant torture and die.

There is a bright side to this and that is that Muslims in the Middle East might end their Jihad {Holy War} after witnessing the Waco and Oklahoma city slaughters in America. They may rethink their ambitions with the thought, "These murderers are already cursed, joining with them we might condemn them further and we might also be cursed." That’s my twisted bright side.

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