A Mothers Knowledge

by Jordan Fletcher, PNN intern

What words can adequately convey a cry for help? Which episodes, what details do you choose to describe your ongoing struggle for justice when every event of every day is a shivering reminder that the odds, paperwork and government bureaucrats are lined up against you?

Debbie Gilman wrings her hands together over and over and shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Her chest is forced out, her shoulders back and her head are held straight as she tries to piece together the details of her situation. For the past four years, she has been the victim of systematic discrimination and abuse by housing and social service authorities in two counties. For four years she has struggled fruitlessly to obtain social services and housing accommodations for herself and her son. Just listening, I feel overwhelmed.

Ms. Gillman’s presence at the office of POOR Magazine is her latest effort in an ongoing struggle to obtain the proper care for her son, William Jackson. In 1997, William, who is schizophrenic, was released from a care facility in Berkeley after one month despite the recognition by his doctors that he was not fit to be at home; there just wasn’t space for him anymore.

With her son out of the hospital, Debbie was forced to provide the constant care and supervision he required. However, some days the task of caring for herself, much-less her son, was too much for her. She sought a full time in-home care provider for William. She sought a housing upgrade from a two-bedroom to a three-bedroom in order to accommodate the care provider. Both requests were denied. Debbie and William were barely surviving on Debbie’s own general assistance--just $200 a month. With the mounting pressures and responsibilities Debbie became unable to work herself. She was forced out of her home San Leandro by her landlord and moved up to Fairfield. There she continued to apply for care providers and a housing upgrade. Solano county has cut its funding for public legal defense, however, and Debbie was forced to pursue her mental disability and housing discrimination suit unaided.

Ultimately, Fairfield approved William for 195 hours of care per month and gave 64 to Debbie. The County tried to appeal Debbie’s allotment, however, arguing that her panic attacks were caused by asthma, not psychological problems. "We should both be getting the maximum allowance of 283 care hours per month," Debbie said. Indeed, in the past two years she has been involved in 2 car accidents, one of which left her in a body cast. Her list of ailments includes back problems, asthma, stress, panic attacks and major depression. Social service regulation say that an applicant must have psychological disabilities in order to be eligible for the full home care allotment.

Despite receiving some money for home care, Debbie has made little progress in her housing application. "I think HUD messed up and now they’re trying to cover themselves," she said.The Department of Housing and Urban Development in San Francisco said her case was closed in September after it found no evidence of discrimination. But Debbie says she provided them with ample proof to obtain Reasonable Accommodation. HUD argued that unless she had documents proving that she needed 24 hour care she was ineligible for a housing upgrade. Debbie responded by providing several boxes full of evidence. The HUD investigator said he’d look into it when he got the chance. He said he would get back to her.He still has not

Often, Debbie went to argue her case unassisted. But her disorganized thinking and tendency towards panic attacks proved a great impediment.An administrative law Judge once asked her directly, "Do you understand how insane you are?" She clearly needed help advocating for herself, but Solano County recently cut all funding for public legal aid. Ultimately, Debbie’s persistence in pursuing her case had frustrated county bureaucrats. They didn’t want to talk to her any more, and they tried to push the matter aside.

Another failure in social service provision in Solano county is that patients must find their own care providers. Having been robbed by the last four providers she’d found for herself and her son, Debbie is understandably wary at the prospect of a new stranger entering her life. Luckily she has Russ.

Russ accompanied Debbie to the POOR offices. He had been Debbie’s care provider at one point, but now he appears mostly as a friend. A calm man, he has a decidedly stabilizing effect on her, and knows the details of her discrimination suits against the Hayward and Fairfield housing authorities. "we found out that they [Alameda County] discriminated against her too. They hid old documents...we had all the originals, and the investigator would look in their files and then look at ours--we had three times as much documentation as them."

Yet the availablity of a close ally such as Russ exposes Debbie to the catch-22 of home care support, because support agencies refuse to pay for care providers who are "friends." Such regulations serve only to undermine the most stabilizing relationship in Debbie's life.

Over the past four years, others have tried to help Debbie. ECHO Housing in Hayward helped her file the lawsuit. The Center for Independent Living tried to help as well, but as she stated, "they dropped the ball." She has had several sympathetic doctors who understand her situation and have written letters on her behalf. She has been granted a care provider for a limited duration, but must to reapply for that allotment whenever given notice. Mostly, Debbie is alone in her day-to-day struggle for adequate housing and care for herself and her son. Just relating this story to us has gotten her worked up into a anxious state. "I’m in the middle of all these different emergencies, and its just me. And they want me to get everything together...you can’t come take on my life because you don’t realize, you don’t live it."

Home care aside, to this day William still receives few social services. Social Service officials have been to the house for repeated psychological assessments, and Debbie fears they want to discontinue what little support he does receive. She suffers with a mother’s knowledge that her son lives with severe depression. "He’s schizophrenic now. I think my son could be so much more, if only he were getting services.

Postscript; As of March 5, 2001, Debbie’s son has lost all of his care provider hours due to the fact that Debbie has still recieved no legal representation from the county and has to represent herself in court.