Birth,Life,Lust,Passion, If I've learned anything its... Life is short,real love is pain,lasts eternally
Compassion,and love women have
shown in words and deeds.
and takes a willingness to go through loves pain
for its ultimate reward knowing ones'self fully.
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by Joe B. Which to do, Comedy,Sing or both? Yeah,it’s the not yet 50 guy yammering again, so don’t listen,get of the site already if you’re no longer interested in someone else’s thought farts. In a few months it’ll be over and I’ll be 5-0 (not the popular Hawaiian cop show with Mr. Jack Lord piled high hair;no a chronological turning of one’s biological age. After that I may fall into another career if I can sing,or do comedy trouble is which with both timing is key but an audience and performer can have bad days no matter how good each are. As for singing if one has great pitch,good ear, and can project their voice interpreting or reinterpreting old or new songs the crowd will take notice,people know when someone is trying their best even if they suck bad. I always wanted to see if I can really sing but in my past my throat was speared in Frick High School back in the late 1969’s or early 70’s. It felt and looked worse than it was and yes it was a revenge from another kid who embarrassed my by pulling my gym shorts down glad I was wearing short instead a jockstrap. Mama enrolled me and later my younger brother Solomon to learn some Martial Arts. After a few weeks it began to feel great minus an accidental hand and toe to the testicle both time its by the same girl surviving that I practice blocking hits there and elsewhere. Anyway my gym shorts pulled down as a joke. Training takes over as I rabbit punched the guy twice quickly in the mouth. Gum in his mouth gets stuck in his mouth and he begins choking. Did I care,not at all as I walked of the green field letting the guy choke. A few Weeks later I’m outside when I saw a wheeled cart headed at me with great speed I ran but not fast enough. Its weighted down with weights,tied with ropes. Tripped slipped and as I fell before hitting the ground the dull edged part of a post–the part buried underground for bars that can be see below or above for people poll vaulting. A red,bloody looking horror I was the power of speech dramatically lost for months. To this day I don’t know what that did to my voice box,trachea,or how it may have altered my voice if I did try to sing. I’ve been it the Hotel Utah before it was bought, during the troubles of Bob-o-matic and a tight community of people creating a floating Utah and then at the I-Can owned by a fella named Simpson,who I had thought was the creator of the multi-player game The Sims. He’s an artist, musician,poet,and sometime comedian and owner of the I-Can that was for a time a comfortable niche for a rootless Hotel Utah. I did my demented comedy and worse sing song in the I-Can. The recent move back to its roots revitalized all the people there. It there I did a horrible rendition of an Alice Cooper Classic "Only Women Bleed" I was about to give up on singing until while ridding myself of spam saw an ad for some reality show. After calling the lady on the email I decided to give singing another chance with all I can muster because my comedy is really not as honed as I would like it but I need so when singing acappella. (without musical accompaniment) What I hope and gamble on is that the purity of spirit,off all the pent up beauty,rage,honesty, integrity,and realism of one person doing something out their normal element can be seen through and appreciated. If it does not work at least it’s a regret I won’t be looking back on. My other ideas House Sitter bussiness,to be in or write skin flicks, learning to be a professional Masseur on a cruise ship and later in with my own business and teaching also. I still would like be a courier if I can. I know lots of dis similar occupations but for me they seem to blend but if I had to give up one it would be the porn movie since I haven’t gotten into it as yet. Thing is as I get older the thought of being see as a dirty old man throbbing young girls is appealing only if I’m a fully functional old guy. Here’s how I see it-its one thing to be smutty talking old guy who cannot back up his ‘rep but if I’m a healthy,fully functioning dirty old man with young girls and women who will vouch for me then I don’t mind the title. Because if one is to be a dirty old,nasty man or woman then one has to take care of the old ‘bod so as to be a challenge to all those youthful horny and horny mature woman that are also up to having absolutely dirty,raunchy, fun without the problem of "He/She died as we were about to… Anyway I some plans and one of them is to be a fully functioning dirty old man, after all someone needs to show innocent virginal youth and mature women who didn’t have a chance in their youth a way of healthy,physical, and emotional relief. All I’m doing is repaying many women who’ve helped me on my way to manhood and I should be able to do the same for fems with as much professionalism as one should for such delicate potentially embarrassing situations. Don’t get me wrong I could never be a gigolo because I only have the wit,intelligence, sensitivity,creative spark,and natural endurance which I intend to build on but as for looks,languages, and higher graces of the gigolo sadly I’ll never fit the profile besides I like women too much to charge them for a priceless gift of themselves even if many think it no big deal I’ll always believe in the natural sacredness of entwined bodies in emotional,sensual synchronized,balance. Slavery was,is,and remains a blood stain on the human psyche. Off course it there is anything human,humane, and humorous it would be that then people went how one looked outside. Imagine a scrawny, short male sold to a widow woman because he looked like if he was mated with any slave women the children would turn out like him short,scrawny, seemingly week. The surprise to the 24 year old (old maid) that the cheap labor bought on the farm where she is sole owner possesses a powerhouse of small stature not small passions then she and he are going at it in the stable, kitchen, and finally hidden in her bed. She’s radiant, youthful, and she knows why and when people want to ‘borrow her hired hand for back breaking work its 'No,I'm need him on my farm,he's weak and but works well on this small farm. Lets call her Lorain and the male slave Tate. No one must know that Tate ‘works Lorain awfully well before work,some during and lots after. I won’t go into pregnancy but plain old-maid Lorain's lover isn’t so scrawny and weak he could be one of Mr. Ray Victory’s unknown ancestors. People haven’t changed all that much I myself could be Tate’s relative also. My build is mesomorphic is that I am short, stocky,well muscled with a layer or two of fat around the belly and a prominent behind. As a youngster I’m skinny and light weight guy when older and learned about exercise then I learned that my body responded building me up adding musculature I wished I was able to keep it up but life changes I gained weight but I’ve learned it can go if I really work at it and as for women… They are the ones staring at me when I am blinded by others(men)saying girls will never like or touch you and some didn't. Rejection lasted until it came to me though my face isn’t handsome marred by a left lazy eye but my body is likable and I’ve never been so glad to have a sense of humor about myself and others. I was changed by my first sexual experience even though it disconnected me from my faith (a married lady in a congregation seduced me, we were never caught,no violent confrontation followed but I felt guilty(huge mortal sin) adultry one of God's chosen daughter's! I lost faith for a time however other kind women gave it back to me with their kindness,words, wisdom,and bodies I couldn’t fault myself or anyone for being human and falling in lust,love,and passion. I still am susceptible to women’s eyes,ears, lips,thinking, expressions,touch,anger, voice,and physical nearness its an achingly greatful desire I have the other sex and trying to suppress it hurts me more when I try. Having female friends can be agony when they don’t realize how beautiful they naturally are and worse when they do. As for myself I still don’t see myself as having a good body but a few women and young girls have eye me sideways and I get a glimpse of women’s constant male gaze upon her. I’ve been in desperate need of… love and there are times I feel it is what my life’s struggle is for that one soul but if that is not to be a longer life,with women as good and dear friends,lover’s passing through it or both. One day maybe after a few centuries I can truly say I have love but for now its equally a strong attraction. Can a women and men beside as elderly people be friends and lover without consuming each other? I’ll find that out on this long road. Snail or Email Joe at: Email: askjoe@poormagazine.org |