The big 5 0 beats the The Big Sleep.
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by Joe. B Young-Old? What The…? Folks,I’ve been writing my column for over five years and it comes to me that maybe because of my lack of tech knowledge and some e-Spam keeps people from sending emails to me in all that time except for the head of the DOE Fund in New York City. N.Y.C. hasn’t been my stomping grounds since 1968 other than a few visits for new years and a funeral my apple senses isn’t as sharp except when I really get pissed off at political shenanigans happening up in the washed white house up in Washington. My rapid approach to the big 50 is a milestone of sorts considering I’ve almost drowned in Orchard Beach at 4 or 5 years old, was the strange kid making stories for the fun of it, and later when much in my mid to late 20’s was in a deep depression,thoughts of suicide was a daily spike in my brain itching as it bored into me deeper. Low paid, highly technical work,job burnout and being homelessness when a serial killer stalked alleys and train yards both I had been around or slept adds to one already stressed personality. Surving that,moving to San Francisco as a last ditch effort did safe my life. From General Assistance,Work Fare to my current long term employment as office manager (my employer’s and interns would call mangler ) and at one time my writing was so off-wall- weird and sexually explicit that I ended up with there female editors that was incase my two employers didn’t spot my editorials. Its been a great run with bumpy exchanges by employee, friend, worker. That still confuses me. Had to books published and have been to the Great American Music Hall and herstoric Women’s Building. Of most of the interns Poor Magazine has helped through its doors at 255 9th Street off Folsom and Mission Streets. Then to 1448 Polk and Pine St. are young girls and women a few boys and young men but the girls and women stayed longer (sorry guys but its true we didn’t last as long) but I like the scent estrogen more than testosterone and they are for more easier to get along with. Always a gentlemen, it made me feel whole having feminine faces, bodies, around asking questions, giving answers and feeling trusted and if I did say a few off color remarks I was put my place quickly, firmly, and tactfully by them. One particular women at the time had so horrendous a past and present that when she trusted me enough to confide I felt ashamed of my own gripes I haven’t faced death as many times as she and her spirit is made of much sturdier stuff that song By Alice Cooper "Only Women Bleed" is on mark that my own problems seemed petty. I still griped but it gets less and less instead I just do what needs doing like venturing to Hotel Utah which will have its 2nd rebirth Monday, 22nd. 8 pm, Its where I do my poems, comedy skits, and have yet to sing Acapella in front of people. What to do on for half a century on earth? My first plan was going to Nevada where they have legal brothel’s Option two is taking a dear friend out to brunch or dinner and I pay, she said she’d buy an alcoholic drink since I should brace myself for the mental/physical change of a the big 5 0. Lastly, getting massage from one or more lovely ladies with myself stripped at their mercy and if I get stiff one its not as if they’ve not seen any before but for me I’ll just have bare the embarrassment of being healthy and male. As for sky/para-surfing, ice climbing, flying/jumping out of a plane, or being chased by bulls in Pamplona, Spain or any of an assorted way of showing zest for life and mortality. Its strange the stuff I didn’t do as a youth that made me an odd ball outcast like not smoking, drinking, doing any drugs, have sex in safe sex wise instead of reckless way(ok, except for an occasion when a sister picked me up in her car, drove me to her home for a long heated session. I chock it down to having a body perceived as made for "Strenuous Exercise." I may have lots of dates but when I am given chance I’ve learned wait, look, listen, and keep mouth shut. As I see it now all I need to is keep brain and ‘bod trim, strong, in working condition with a job/career conducive to it and enjoy the benefits and always wanting to a Masseur but no time, money, or organized at the time but now everything has crystallized and besides I didn’t That young former intern I talked to about the Nevada thing suggested a less expensive way to celebrate and for that I thank her from tip of my toes, bottom of my heart, and soul. Of course now that I think on it I would have to show in my medical records that I’m both HIV/AIDS negative after that let the varying lessons from experienced ladies commence. An advantage of being fifty is no peer pressure, lots of stored arcane knowledge, both younger and older women look better, and any young women from 22 to 35 I can imagine as jail bait but won’t be arrested for. I’m also thinking about cloning body in parts and not in a single unit but really as parts so as not have a "whole human being with consciousness and a soul. Legal or illegal on some off short hidden base of operations so my extended life continues until immortality replaces life extended cloning stop gap technologies. The only addiction I have is for living but if I have give it up well then one must join the wheel of life and play the game one more time. Any questions ask away you might learn something. Email: askjoe@poormagazine.org |