The Accusation –a narrative essay

by Tricia Ward/PoorNewsNetwork Community Journalist/ Mentor; Dee Gray

The accusation, when it’s made, hits like a cold steel beam slamming into your body, knocking you to the ground, or cuts sharp and deep into you like a cleaver, leaving you gasping for breath. “Your son sure seems to have a lot of problems, doesn’t he?” That’s all it was, a dozen words, uttered to my sister, but the accusation hung there in the air, making my sister’s heart stop beating. Her son had been sick, it started with diabetes and insulin shots given daily. Then the depression came, after being teased over and over by the kids at school because he was ‘different’. On top of that asthma, and then the final ailment, strange mysterious seizures that came on daily, without warning. The doctors couldn’t find the reason for the seizures. Test after test, neurologists, specialist of every kind, psychiatrists. No explanation for this new, terrifying symptom. It was in yet another doctor’s office, where the accusation was uttered by a nurse. It wasn’t just the words she uttered; “Your son sure seems to have a lot of problems, doesn’t he?” but the threatening tone of voice, the sharp eyes beating into my sister, as she flipped through the child’s file. Somehow, my sister, who wanted nothing more than to have her child be well, healthy and happy, was being told that this woman suspected my sister was somehow responsible for his myriad of problems.

The accusation, when it’s made, is often followed by action. Action that’s quick, and reactionary in nature, not thought out, not rational, and not at all in the best interest of the most important person involved, the child. This is what happened when the accusation was made in regards to Byron’s 13-year-old son Ronnie. Byron tells the story of how Ronnie and his mother Barbara, had been evicted from their home. Barbara had her sister take Ronnie in until she could find permanent housing. She did this so Ronnie would have a safe place to live in the meantime. The accusation, in this case came from Ronnie’s aunt. The very aunt that had been trusted to look after Ronnie until Barbara could find a home for both of them. “Ronnie’s mom is not fit to care for him” was the accusation. The response came swift and quick. Ronnie’s aunt became his caretaker and began receiving money from the system, meaning Child Protective Services, which was supposed to be for Ronnie’s care. There was little Barbara or Byron could do. The Aunt had connections within the system who listened to her accusations and acted quickly and swiftly and changed Ronnie’s life.

My sister’s life changed years ago, the day her son was born. She and her husband had tried for years to have child and when the baby was born, he became the focal point of their lives. As he grew it became clear he had medical problems, but they sacrificed, did whatever necessary to help him. My sister had to quit her job at one point to stay home and take care of him. They eventually had to sell their home and move to a smaller rented apartment, because the mortgage was overwhelming on only her husband’s salary, but their concern was only for their son’s welfare. I asked her one Christmas what they would like for gifts. My sister’s response was “We want our son to be healthy, other than that, not much”. Now, this woman in the doctor’s office, this stranger, who didn’t know anything about my sister and her son, was throwing this terrible accusation at her.

Since Ronnie has been taken from Barbara both she and Byron have learned about the terrible mess that follows the accusation. Byron has learned how the system that is supposed to protect the child and restore the family unit is actually determined to do just the opposite. Byron describes “the triangle” as he calls, it of CPS, the judge and social worker who all work together to keep the parents from being reunited with their child. Byron took Barbara to parenting classes and programs that the court said she needed to attend. She got her certificate of completion, but she didn’t get Ronnie back. Byron attempted to visit his son, he spent the day and spent his own money getting finger-printed as the court ordered. His record came back clean, but the court still wouldn’t allow him to visit his son. Byron says they gave him no explanation as to why. They never do. Over and over again, the judge would give Barbara or Byron certain conditions to meet in order to get Ronnie back. And over and over they met these requirements, and still Ronnie was not returned. That was the day his anger reached its peak, when he realized this system was never going return his child. The aunt, the one who made the accusation, grew tired of keeping Ronnie, even though she got paid to do so. She lied again to CPS, said Ronnie acted up and Ronnie was moved again this time to foster care, to the first of several foster placements. Now Byron hears his son’s voice only occasionally. Ronnie will sneak a phone call to him. Ronnie is now 16. He’s already planning on being with his dad when he turns 18 and can walk away from the system. “I’m his dad”, Byron says, “And nothing can change that.”

Byron began to write. He needed to do something to make others understand. He began writing and since then has written over 2,000 poems. The words come easy when the story is personal and needs to be told. “They can talk about me all they want, but I’m still putting the word out there” he says of the people involved in the system. And the word is getting out – Byron has published a book, filled with the poems about his son and the CPS system. Ronnie’s 7-year-old eyes stare out at the reader from the cover. They are warm, brown, friendly eyes. Although you can’t see it in the picture, you can tell there’s wide smile beaming out just below his eyes.

The accusation made my sister act as well, for her the action is research, hours and hours of phone calls and of e-mail sent to others who might be going through the same issue, this new, mysterious ailment that has attacked their child. Focusing all her efforts into caring for her son and searching endlessly for the answer to his ailment allows her to pretend the accusation was never made, in hopes that the terrible action that sometimes follows the accusation never comes.

Byron Gafford’s book Thru The Eyes of A Child is available for sale by clicking on the POOR Press button on PNN. If you are a parent and would like to report your story to courtwatch – please email deeandtiny@poormagazine.org and put Courtwatch in the subject line.