Original Post Date
2021-06-07 10:08 AM
Original Body
By: AudreyCandyCorn aka SistahSaveASoul
Yesterday I went to go get my breast exam for the first time. The lady felt on my breast and found three lumps. The first was found on September 17th. The second one was found September 27th, and the third one was found October 24th. Once November hit, I had made the promise to my dad, myself, my children and a few extended family members that I would get myself checked out immediately due to the rapid growth of These Lumps.
I'm not scared I'm more irritated than anything. I thought for a minute that I would be angered because I have a good idea why the lumps have appeared and the origin of where they have developed from, the root. I hate to be right sometimes. Sometimes I'd much rather be wrong, but that's rare. My delivery may not always be taken seriously, but I'll be on point. Sometimes people can't express things, even though we try our best to communicate effectively. It doesn't mean that the person doesn't know what they're talking about, or the truth isn't trying to be set free. I personally am a witness to the character of my goddamn self, scribing this journey of self-development and emotional intelligence, and I want to talk about Corona; the fact that we're in the pandemic and that it's lasted.
Corona was around January 11th, we just didn't have a name for it yet, my baby niece Helen, dark skin Boogie Woogie Lou, was one of the very first babies infants newborns to catch this covid-19 virus AKA Corona. She was only 11 days and had to be hospitalized, taken away from both of her parents and put into this system which gave her the infection in the first place.
I was the one along with Homefulness and the Hebrew tribe to help bring this baby from the hands of the state, hospital CPS workers, into the loving arms of the biological grandmother, lalaine Hughes. That's my proof that this pandemic has been around since the beginning of January, but you don't got to take my word for, it I'm simply trying to survive, take notes and share the tools to get by. However this disease is in the air, it's airborne, and taking over the whole world. For all I know, it could be this coronavirus s*** I'm breathing in that has put the lumps in my breast because they're growing rapidly.
It's been 3 months and three lumps in one of my breasts. They putting up these towers that we've been warned about. They're showing up in the ghettos more than the suburbs and between the two we all have no Escape.
So I'm dealing with these lumps. I don't trust the hospital, I didn't want to go alone. I wanted to capture my movement on this stage of my life. So far, I have been healthy from birth to 39. This is the only issue I have ever had other than giving birth 3 times. I just want to be in a position to be free, as simple as that sounds. I know it may not be the case, no matter how healthy I eat, no matter how much I meditate, Purge myself of poisons verbally, internally and out.
I work on myself daily, from moment to moment. I'm constantly trying to be a better version of myself, leaving the lower levels of me behind. I must admit, I'm doing a great fantastic wonderful job. However, the time has come for me to face the inevitable, which is tackling the issues that have not been confronted. How does one do that? How do you have a conversation with someone who won't have a conversation? I was told you pray on it, you get creative. Vent. Go see a psychiatrist, therapist or counselor. I was told not to keep it in, let it out, speak on it. Then I was told don't speak on it, keep it in, don't let it out. I was told watch what you say and what you do. Then I was told you don't have to watch what you say or what you do.
I used to be surrounded by four hundred people. I was left with one. That multiplied into 4, then 6, now 11 extended family members who have held me dearly to their hearts. My lifelines. But even with those lifelines, I don't want to get my antennas crossed, my rope throwed over the cliff or simply cut PERIOD... They, too, are only human.
So, like I said, I kept my promise to those individuals, because they will be lost without me. I served a place in their hearts that's Irreplaceable. The medicine I provide only can come from and through me and my existence. When I'm gone, the sweet remnants of who I am and was will forever be an ongoing gift of healing. I swear I believe this with my whole heart. That is the truth and they know it. That's why we are connected. I will be the guiding ancestor, fighting for righteousness in the consciousness of the revolution's struggle for the kingdom of God. Of course, it couldn't go any other way.
But in the meanwhile I will do the next necessary steps in regards to the follow up with the lumps in my breast. I know this may seem all over the place if you're reading this and not in tune or in touch with who I am. If you're not familiar with my writings and thought pattern, you may actually get lost and feel like this is random jargon, but it's not. It's the road map to my story. It's the very essence of the energy that has manifested These Lumps. It's the very presence of the medicine that has prevented me from being ill...
So it's preparation time in all areas of my life. My legacy matters. I have purpose. My children deserve the best that I can give them while I'm living. Although I got a hunch I'm worth way more to them dead versus being alive. I'm not rushing anything. My time to go only the Lord knows, but if you care anyting about me, you would try to help help me by helping them. Amaris 17 + ziair is 12 Torian is 22 + dead.
These are the things I think about that disturb me. Family, betrayal, being Left 4 Dead, and a lack of support for my sons have manifested in the three lumps. We work really hard to get our message out, but who's listening? Who actually cares? I try not to think like that. I know me and the children are well-loved, but we not eating and tired of watching pieces of the pie be sliced and given to Someone Else again and again untill it's Crumbs and Finally we Scream, "Hey! You keep passing (me )(Us) Up! Snatching The Crumbs!" Now Feeling Obligated To have A Slice Of Our Own... All in due Time...
1st things 1st Tackle this Breast Then contact Family of Betrayers Then ???