by Noemi Martinez
dear jesus
why can’t the govt
give me some $
for the clunker in the driveway
it’ll die soon
and I need to get to work &*
get the kids to school
don’t ask me to
buy some $14k ride
thats just crazy
come on, be real
let me buy another one
to last a few more years
so i can keep going to work*
paying rent, (going crazy
& telling lies)and shit like that.
& lets see about
getting some good
care for my dad
who only sees
shadows, and blue lights & i wonder
(why is he blind now &
i don’t take his calls)
who’s taking him to
get groceries
cuz I cant (I remember the hidden food but can’t remember if its real or not)
& can u see
about getting my hermano into a good rehab after this last stint becuz he’ll be dropped out at a bus station, and I can’t invite him here and
he'll sleep at shelters & then he (don’t say he’s
gotta be saved,
we are all lost
& fucked
& if he can’t ask
i’m asking for him)
I'll find old friends
& then
he'll see its
all useless & so i dont blame him
because we all look for release
see, but i can't
have him here (we all want guns) &
he dreamed the address of his kids
in that little cell, made cafe in the shower but i wonder
if dreams get spiked
with memories
or the other way around who can
tell the difference anymore-
he dreamed them, their address, their house
and sent them letters
& i found them on myspace
& it looks like they have that
that thing
too, that companion that follows us
& any day now, any day right right right
things will change
& why’d you give us
hope
i’m asking
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