|
by JR Johnson
Five men stood in a semi- circle on the street corner. Street lamps
poured down their gracious light covering the drugstore in the background.
It was 11 am and the last train to Sleepyville made its accustomed
run over the Urban Landscape. Breaking the silence a strident and
youthful voice rang out: "Someone's going to die tonight."
In the three-second interval there went a circular motion outwards
along with a glint that just as fast dissapeared. One of the shorter
men buckled to his knees, his hand clutched to his throat. My passenger
and I had observed this event , setting in my car, across the street.
Immediately we sped away. The next day I learned that at that spot,
a young man, his throat cut, had died the previous night.
I'm sharing this story with readers to put them on alert to the
possible consequences of intemperate language. From my understanding
on the topic, human beings project a varied array of mind-sets.
Descriptions such as a loving, a Wonderland, a stoic, a hateful,
a cynical, and a Hee Haw mental disposition only scratch the surface
of possibilities. Seen in context then, we can be made or broken
by our public utterances.
From the foregoing it's obvious that there are words and statements
which should be red-flagged and not verbalized to others at all.
That's to say, just as someone can say things to move you to anger,
your own life could hang in the balance were you to say the wrong
thi
Here recently in fact, while eating at a lunch counter, crossed
words were noticed being exchanged between a food-server and a patron.
In a slow, deliberate move, the worker came from around the counter
to confront his agitator. Again words were exchanged which I could
not hear. In one and a half seconds the younger man smashed his
fist to the jaw of the senior. It was surrealistic in that the victim's
light appeared to go out instantly, long before he crumpled to his
knees backwards, his head smashing to the concrete floor, a halo
of blood circling his head. The same evening after the paramedics
had taken him away, I learned the senior had repeatedly called the
young man a Punk.ng, to the wrong person, at the wrong time..
(back to top)
I would be willing to bet the victim learned a valuable lesson
from that experience. On that note, never likely will he address
someone in that manner ever again. The same good sense can be adopted
by the rest of us concerning words of ethnic put-down. Words such
as Wop, Japs, White trash, Niggers, Chinks, Wet-backs, etc., when
addressed to the wrong person, at the wrong time, could blow up
in in our faces.
Another take on human perceptions came in my attending a committee
hearing involving a member of the Clergy. The minister I will not
name, for good reason, weighed in at about 210 lbs and stood 6-foot
4-inches tall. He proudly evoked this saying, "No one can make you
mad unless you let them."
The only problem with that statement is its evident flaw. This
was made clear to me during a meeting being chaired by the same
Minister. Speaker after speaker stood up and gave their opinion
on the measure being discussed. Then arrived my golden moment. Before
I could give even a quarter of my wisdom, the Chairman told me that
was enough and to sit down. You probably guessed it: I didn't let
him, but he made me mad as Hell. The very next week, under similar
circumstances I was abruptly cancelled out. Again I was pissed off,
and in fact I told the Chairman in delicately chosen words that
I didn't appreciate his evident disrespect. Going a step further,
I never attended those meetings again.
Mr. Smart is another case in point. As head of an interaction
class he too approached the subject of human relations, I thought
in a cavalier manner. According to his point of view: no one can
make you mad unless you let them. In my opinion, Mr. Smart would've
served his students better by not sugar-coating how we differently
react to the spoken word. That would have revealed the dual nature
of words and the high respect they are due. Keep in mind some of
these uses are to heal, to make others sick, mad, angry, happy,
enthused, inspired, etc., etc. It can be added that, unlike machines,
our responses to others are based upon a complex inter-connecting
web of emotion intellect and sensitivity.
An incident from my youth underscores our myriad interpretation
of words and how they are reacted to. In my 7th grade classroom
one of the beauty queens openly dissed a fellow male student: "Hey
Ron, why are you so ugly?" The guy rebutted and said: "Your Grandma
looks like homemade sin." The pretty thing crashed and burned in
a torrent of tears, her beautiful world temporarily demolished.
Whatever moral can be extracted from these events could be aided
by another; I think timely observation. Most of us live under the
rainbow of personal narcissism. At any given time we think that
we know exactly how we would respond to every situation. Yet the
truth is, until the insult actually takes place it's difficult to
altogether plan for that reality. Then again, there are many of
us who undergo insults from others on a regular basis and shrug
it off. It's also true what the Minister and Mr. Smart said too,
to a certain degree. It's my suggestion the subject is really about
respect. Therefore, whenever we address and respond to others, it's
probably best we say it with roses.
|
