The Most Unrecognized Form of Sexual Abuse

by Tom Mc Kay

When I got divorced at the age of 33, I felt betrayed by our cultural belief system. I had done everything right. I had conformed to the social standards that were deemed “proper” -- and that belief system had led my life to TOTAL FAILURE.

What good is a life with NO HAPPINESS in it? Why would I want to work to support a social system that denies me happines? Happiness and love go together. Where there is no happiness, there has been a lack of love. Jesus taught us that LOVE is the most important thing we need to learn in life. In the beginning stages of learning how to love, happiness, love, and sexuality are closely related.

Sexuality is a powerful force in the attraction between men and women. Sexuality brings us together, and then we need to learn how to love each other.

Unfortunately, our culture is fanatically hateful towards sexuality for many reasons. People who express their sexuality in irresponsible ways can cause tremendous problems. Many religions teach us that celibacy will help us to grow spiritually (although this is not true). Many of our corporate leaders feel that frustrating sexuality can help them turn us into neurotic workaholics. Many of our military leaders recognize that frustrating their soldiers turns them into viscious killing machines.

In The Ultimate Frontier, by Eklal Kueshana, page 257, a member of the Great White Brother tells Eklal: “The human brain will produce a personality which is either pleasure-oriented or violence-prone. Its neurological structure allows it to develop only one way or the other."The hatred of sexuality in our culture has caused us to become extremely violent and cruel."

In order to promote an authoritarian structure in our families, men are taught to use economic blackmail and physical intimidation to control their wives. Women are taught to use sexual blackmail and verbal skills to control their husbands. The end result of these teachings is that many relationships between a man and a woman become power struggles to determine which person will be dominant in the relationship. Sharing and mutuality are not encouraged in our cultural attitudes.

The most unrecognized form of sexual abuse is the conscious and deliberate frustration of a man’s sexual needs. Whether it is done as an act of punishment, for manip- ulation, or for blackmail, it damages the TRUST that is the foundation for all social relationships.

Sexual frustration hurts men much more immediately and much more intensely than it hurts women. This is because men are living their lives under the influence of TESTOSTERONE and women are living their lives under the influence of PROGESTERONE.

Unfortunately, the pain caused by sexual frustration makes men angry, hostile, and aggressive. This can sometimes be expressed as criminal attack, assault, rape, battering, infidelity, or even kidnapping and enslavement. This is no way to run a society.

Our cultural leaders have engaged in a massive mind-control campaign to deny the relationship between sexual frustration and the many different social problems it causes or exacerbates. This denial is dishonest and destructive.

It is impossible to solve a problem until after we are willing to be honest about it. Honesty must come first. This problem can be solved, but first we must engage in some honest social dialogue. Sexual abuse cannot be tolerated.