I was at V-Day !!!

by Mari/Youth in the Media Intern

I was casually checking my e-mail on a slow workday, and one of the e-mail's subject line said: Digital Storytelling. The subject line seemed interesting so I didn't erase it. The email basically stated that there was a workshop coming up for youth that wanted to do digital stories on domestic violence, and it was going to be free. So I thought why don't I check this out, it sounds like a good experience. So I called the person who was in charge of interviewing people for the workshop, her name is Amy. She de-briefed me on the workshop, and I got even more excited. I was going to basically make a mini film talking about an issue that is relevant to my community, which is domestic violence.

The workshop was separated into five days. The first day I met the other youth and the workshop presenters. Everyone seemed nice and friendly. It definitely was a safe space. Then we thought about ideas for our "script". I wrote about my personal story with domestic violence in a poetry format. The next few days we started to work on our digital stories. We had to get pictures to describe what we were saying in our script. That was really hard for me. To get a picture to help explain what it feels like to be beaten or see your parents fighting was just difficult.

The reason why we were doing this is to get our stories about domestic violence out there. Too many times adults will speak for youth in cases of domestic violence. This time we wanted our voice to be heard! The silent victim now shouting for a survivor's voice to be heard.

In October, we had an event called Break the Silence, Stop the Violence. At this event we had education, music, spoken word, and presented our stories which talked about domestic violence. It went so well. We raised money for the kids of Claire Joyce (a woman who was murdered by her boyfriend in front of her kids), and educated people about domestic violence.

A few months passed by, and then I got a message from Amy. She asked me if I could let her show my video at the V-day (a Vagina Monologues event which raises money to help stop the violence against women) opening celebration, and in the Masonic Auditorium lobby at V-Day. Also if she could put my story on the Silence Speaks CD (which is a compilation of digital stories about domestic violence). Of course, I told her yes. To me this was such a beautiful opportunity to share my story with others, which is one of the reasons why I did the digital story.

A few days passed, and I get a message from Amy again asking me to tell my story written in poetry format on the stage at the Masonic Auditorium. I would be sharing the same stage with Eve Enlser, Gloria Steinem, and many more powerful happy vagina friendly women. I would be sharing my story in front of over 3,000 people. I said yes, but I was so scared. I would be telling a sold out crowd my story about domestic violence. At first I felt why was I the chosen one? Why do I get to say my story? How about all the other people who have stories to tell? At one point, I even thought that I might not even be worthy to tell my story.

Then I made up my mind I would do this piece for myself and all other young silent victims out there. I did it in the hopes that one-day we can grow up in happy, healthy homes.

I called my sister, brother, mother, and stepfather to tell them the news. My sister was happy even though I am not sure she understood the whole thing. I think she took it as my Ate is doing something great and she's happy, so I am happy for her. Then I told my Mom. She went crazy. She knew what the Vagina Monologues were because she loves to watch The View with Barbara Walters and they talk about the Vagina Monologues. So, my mom's reaction summed up was basically "MY BABY IS GOING TO PERFORM WITH THE VAGINA LADY!" Then she told my stepfather I was going to be in Vagina Monologues during our conversation. So in the background while I am talking to my mom. All I hear in the background from my step dad trying to talk to my mom saying "Honey did you just say Vagina?" "Vagina What?" "Excuse Me, did you say Vagina?" "Hello, Vagina?" "Vagina What?" "Why are you saying the word Vagina?" Interestingly enough this was the reaction I got from most men when I told them about me telling my story at V-Day. The only difference is that my step dad was the one of the few who could say vagina.

So the next step was to meet Eve Ensler. I knew of her somewhat before I met her. I knew she had to be a tight woman to write the Vagina Monologues. I found out about her and the Vagina Monologues in an independent bookstore. I saw the word VAGINA on the cover and knew whatever the topic was I just had to buy the book just because the word VAGINA was on the cover. I eventually started reading it and I liked it. I told my self whenever Vagina Monologues comes to San Francisco I must go see it. I never got to see it, which is probably good because I might have been more scared to go on stage.

On Monday, I walk into the Masonic Auditorium lobby, and walk towards the stage. It a very welcoming, inviting stage. There was red, plush, soft carpet on the stage. There were cameras surrounding Eve too. I was just looking around thinking WOW! I can't believe I am going to be a part of the V-day movement. Then Eve comes to me and hugs me. At this point I was like EVE IS HUGGING ME! I was hugging Eve! WOW! I got to meet Abby who was very nice and classy. Then Eve took my hand and held it. We walked backstage so Eve, Abby, and I could talk. We stepped inside the green room, which wasn't green at all. I told Abby and Eve my story. They both were shedding tears. Eve was holding me. She was very supportive, and protective of me. She is like a very healthy mother to me. Eve told me how did we ever find you? I told them the story. Eve told me also if I wanted her by my side while I was telling my story to ask her. Eve gave me some beautiful advice about life. Then we talked about what we were going to wear and about the Vagina Monologues coming on HBO. Abby and Eve made me feel like that I was the diva of the show, which helped me to be less sacred.

Next day is the big day; V-Day. Amy comes back and picks me up to go to the Masonic Auditorium. I get to the Auditorium and do my sound check and rehearsal. In the middle of the rehearsal Eve says, "I love you, Mari." Then I say "I love you, Eve." Then Amy and I rush to my house to pick up my costume for that night. Then I go to work and back to the auditorium to start getting ready for V-Day. I go back in the green room, and there is this lady practicing her monologue. I tell her "I've seen you somewhere before." She looks back to see if she has seen me before. I tell her "You live in San Francisco, right?" Then she says "No." I say "You live somewhere in the Bay Area then, right?" She says "Yes, but I just recently moved. You probably seen some of my work." I still am convinced that I have seen her at an event, protest, or action somewhere. (Later, I find out I saw her in A Thin Line between Love Hate, and her name is Lynn Whitfield.)

I am backstage getting ready with all these other beautiful women. My friend Chyna does my makeup. People keep on asking if we are sisters. (We are not.) I paint my nails. Then I get told to go to the basement of the auditorium to take pictures of the cast. I grab my red boa and head downstairs. The whole cast goes downstairs to take pictures. In the basement, there are all of these paintings of white men all in a row. I told Julia Butterfly-Hill "I hope we don't take pictures in front of these scary paintings." She said, "Oh, I hope we do. Can you just imagine all these beautiful women with red boas taking a picture and all these men rolling over in their graves?"

We started taking pictures. We were singing about happy vaginas. The person leading the singing was Eve. The lights go off. Then Kathy Najimy starts singing "A boy like that." Eve joins in, but Rita Moreno did not join in. We all go back to the green room for a Powwow before the show starts.

Then we all were waiting to go onstage. People are running everywhere. Red boas are grabbed, shoes are taken off, and members of the cast go onstage. Eve starts introducing the Vulva choir (the all-star cast). I am in the green room painting my toenails red. I continue to watch the TV in the green room when one of the crewmembers tells me to get ready to go on stage. I grab my boa, and Eve comes backstage to come and get me. She introduces me. I walk onstage to tell over 3,000 people my story about domestic violence, and child abuse. I start crying in the middle of my story. Tears run down my face. I am healing the pain that I have experienced in my life. I finish by saying "You got to stand up and say the cycle of violence will and has to stop with me!"

I move away from the back and see the Vulva Choir giving me a standing ovation. I walk back to sit on the nice red, fluffy couches that are on stage. I hug others members of the cast. The are so supportive towards. I sit between two strong women Gloria Stienem and Rita Moreno. Rita is about to her monologue "My Angry Vagina" she leans towards me and says "I am gonna make you laugh." Well she did. Rita was onstage and took off her thong. It was so hilarious. I was cracking up laughing.

It was coming to the closing, so Eve Ensler said thank you to the supporters. She also asked people to stand up if they been victimized, then if they knew someone who has been victimized, then if the violence of women is going to stop with the people who have not stood up. Then there was a live band playing music and the Vulva Choir started dancing and singing. Rita started running around with her thong. Eve and I started dancing together. The show was finally over. Everyone in the cast went back stage and was hugging each other. I went outside to the lobby to find my friends. I hugged all of them. Then these people asked me for my autograph. I was like Ok, but I was thinking are they talking to me?

So many people are coming up to me and telling me their stories about violence that has happened to them. The story that affected me the most was from this lady. She told me that she had gone to Vagina Monologues and V-day events ever since they first started. Tonight though was the first night she ever stood up when Eve said "Stand up if you violence has ever happened to you." She said my words made her realized that abuse had happen to her. She never before thought her mother hitting her as abuse. That is why I did V-day.