The Other Listening Session

by PNN Staff

I remember standing in line at Safeway. An ashamed ten-year-old, wearing jelly shoes and mom's old Levis. We had just picked up our "check" and it was like Christmas, a cherished holiday that comes along only so often. But it was just grocery shopping day, generic and tainted with shame cause we didn't pay with "real" money. The cashier ALWAYS belittled us when presenting food stamps, we ALWAYS went over by five dollars and had to return an item, and a classmate ALWAYS seemed to be in the next line; watching, waiting to laugh at me, waiting to point and remind me that I somehow did not measure up because we paid for our food differently. I hated Safe-Way.

Here I am, years later, re-visiting this humiliation with anonymous peers. Anonymous, for people on welfare usually do not come with a name; they are lazy AFDC moms, crazy, disabled Vets, or the happily unemployed. That welfare recipients still struggle for their own name brought tears to my eyes as I sat in the Glad Tidings Church Sanctuary in Hayward last Saturday, October 27. On this emotional day parents on welfare testified to a "listening panel" of state and local officials, or more accurately, assistants to our state and local officials. Speakers discussed their experiences on welfare during the past five years, and opened the debate on welfare reform.

The morning started with a bus ride across the Bay Bridge. GROWL arranged this free transport for all the low-income folks who wanted to go. They also provided headphones and interpreters for non-English speakers so they could fully participate in the discussion, they set up lunch and snacks for all attendees, and provided childcare at no cost to the mothers. As a result, the panel of elected officials could not hide their responses behind language barriers or noisy children. One of the first ladies to hit the stage kicked it off saying: "I WILL NOT BE VOICELESS!" Applause vibrated through the church and the community pulse thumped through beating hearts.

I continued to listen as stories flowed in three different languages. I felt the pain of old bruises, for I am the adult version of the children these women are fighting to raise. Welfare reform is intended for the child I once was, right? I could almost see the ladies in my family on this Hayward stage, demanding respect, recounting the traumatic and dehumanizing experience of going to the welfare office, demanding the right to raise their own children. I saw the golden power of motherhood in the eyes of each speaker, and I glowed as I envisioned the mothers in my own family.

Speakers talked about marriage fanatics and their quest to "save" poor families. "They want to turn single parent families into criminals," said Rebecca Gordon, panel speaker and author of Cruel and Usual Punishment. This "Fathership Clause", promoted by Secretary Tommy Thompson, reminds me of Charles Murray's famous Bell Curve. Cut off aid, and single moms will cease to be; Cut off single moms, and aid will cease to be? Does Secretary Thompson think no one is paying attention? If aid had been cut off to my family, the only thing to cease would have been body mass. My father, as he existed in my family, would not have changed this grim reality.

On the Health and Human Services website they quote an article by Wade Horn that says: "Studies show that children who grow up without responsible fathers are significantly more likely to experience poverty, perform poorly in school, engage in criminal activity, and abuse drugs and alcohol." I find this personally offensive, for my father's absence in no way hindered my mother's ability to be my mom. My broken home did not break me, and the deep structure of my family carried me (US!) through the hard times. My grandmother spoiled me, my mother bathed and clothed me, my aunties looked after me, and my sister looked up to me. My father's occasional presence neither hindered nor enhanced this system. It worked, as my grandma always said, "with butter and love." I imagine that something similar to Grandma's wisdom brought Saturday's event together. A smooth, sweet rhythm carried each speaker through tears and their own versions of "butter and love."

I sat there with fellow POOR intern, Laurie. We talked about how complicated poverty is. How it has many different languages, wears so many different faces, and comes from many different backgrounds. Laurie is a single mom; she is also disabled and beautiful. I wondered what she could say to the panel, what voice she could give other single moms. When it came time for the audience to ask questions, she bravely stood up and glided to the front of the church. Laughter echoed back to me, as Laurie became an instant friend with the ladies on stage. But, alas, their good nature and smiles didn't make it to the microphone, for several panel members had slowly filtered out. Our hour was up.

GROWL members suddenly jumped out of their seats with petitions for the disappearing panel members to sign. It touched on three main issues: end racial profiling, value family regardless of marital status and recognize education as work. Only two people were willing to sign, Gustavo Vargas, a CalWorks liaison from Santa Clara and Betty Fong, a CalWorks child coordinator from Alameda. The panel member POOR Magazine most wanted to hear from, Congressman Pete Stark, did not sign. His assistant, Jo Casanave, appeared in his place on the "listening panel" and quickly led the charge off the stage and out a secret back door.

One week after the event, after the petition had been faxed to his Fremont office, Stark had no comment. After calling three times, I was asked to call his Washington office. If I had had enough quarters at press time, I would have. Consequently, I have no comment from Mr. Stark.

After searching the premises for the elusive Casanave, Laurie and I gathered our belongings and headed for the free food. Over Safeway-brand cola and generic cookies, we discussed the fatherhood initiative and what it means to us and our children and our children's children. We wondered if Tommy Thompson had ever asked himself these questions. Has Tommy Thompson ever paid differently than other people? Does Tommy Thompson know ANYTHING about the people he wants to "reform"? What will happen to the "Deep Structure" of our family if the government continues to meddle?

We then recalled one speaker's accusation that the government "is trying to get into our bedroom." Laurie sarcastically responded with her poetic voice, "Well, they're not going to like what they see."