If I have caused you any pain I am humbled, honored to have done so. If I've turned into a good and noble son. It is a Mother's gift for the Wife
I am deeply sorry, if I've cause
great joy...
who will have me.
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by Joe B. Today is a special day, my first, love, argument, kiss, slap, joy, fun, hurt, painful truths. My Mother’s birthday is today she remains 21+ that’s all I’ll ever know. Its said she was born with a veil over face especially her eyes which meant to many second sight. Years later she proved it true and maybe her first and second son also might have the gift passed on genetically. She had two miscarriages both males before having me and Solomon. Married twice, Graduating from Nursing school as a full fledged Registered Nurse. Some trouble happens in New York, between catching me throwing dice, learning to play craps near my apartment, and my father veiled threat to take us away made Mom move us 3,100 miles to California. For years I was angry at her for that but over time when both my father and step father didn’t call or visit. For me the complexity and inexplicable vagaries of life and I no longer blame anyone because they did what had to all of them loved us enough for that. My younger smarter brother follows my footsteps into the medical field becoming a cell researcher while I let my C.N.A./H.H.A, Dietary Aide [Certified Nurse Assistant, Home Health Aide]. Before those jobs my work was as a custodian, food service assistance or cooks helper, Local 6 Warehouse Worker, Security Guard, Library Aide, and Lab Aide. I should’ve directed my scientific bent to be a lab technician or pharmacist since I loved looking at diseased ridden test tube’s, having them sterilized for reuse. Dates, mistakes, hitchhiking across the country, working with a kind family, visiting mama but not staying because there’s lingering anger, and finally returned to the bay area. Early displays of that veil power came to me when I said "I don’t trust that man, and don’t put your house up as collateral." As with most person with psychically inclined they can see other people’s problems but not their own. Both my brother and me are correct about the new boyfriend whether it was colored by our mother being with men other than our father I don’t know but we both had an inkling this jack-of-all-trades-master-of-some we didn’t trust the guy at all. In 1979 my mother lost her house due to bad business decisions. It’s the first I ever saw this strong, intelligent, psychic woman falter, breakdown and weep. All I could say is "The I . R. S. owns our home. She wanted to burn it down too but it is decided instead to take every light bulb from every socket along with everything else and move to San Leandro or Hayward. My brother was away in his own apartment, I worked all over in and out of the bay area like a displaced Gypsy. Mother, in her wisdom and strength gather what monies she had saved and decides to take a trip to Mexico. By that time I’m homeless I left Oakland became homeless in San Francisco my mind in a constant fog, writing short stories losing ‘em, moving from place to place living on G.A. [General Assistance] looking, finding short term jobs until I’m able to get into case management to safe money for an S.R.O.(Single Room Occupancy). My Mother’s resilient made me do better and as for women they’ve always been a problem and mystery but always helping with a word, physical, mental comfort, and kindness. Happy Birthday Mother for everything you’ve taught me through example, and when you thought I was not listening. I still need to get her a nice home where her dogs can run free in a large backyard. [Someone else will clean dog mess from the yard not me]. Well, this is my personal salute to my mother and I going to give to her this day on her birthday since my money is funny for now and between my girlfriend and mom today is my mom’s day; so I miss some bed time I don’t get a lot as it is anyway that’s why I’m on a few date-for-sex-sites not (sorry mama) but you raised me and my brother very well. Remember, you said "If I ever EVEN think you’re take drugs I’ll set you up to be in jail. "Well, mom both your son’s don’t do any drugs unless its medical and we have the flu. Thank You for your touch, eternal love. Like my brother I want to be married someday too if I find my perfect or near match it’d be wonderful for the so called near end of my life. Happy Birthday Mommy. Email: askjoe@poormagazine.org |