Single Men go through Marriage may sometimes drag
the motions of loving the single
life.
but its a couple working together.
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by Joe B. Not a married man either because of personality or not seen as hubby or father figure or to much of something or not enough of whatever secret ingredients that makes single men eligible. These days both women and men are not seeking marriage only a long term friendship with some close intimacy. Its sex without the bother of commitment. I don’t know how the process happens but by a kind of osmosis men or women and other sexual orientated people chose one another as life partners. Problems arise when one partner needs more from the other. Sex isn’t always the issue but emotional bonding and intimacy may be lacking that’s one of many why women seek emotional comfort from others than her spouse while males may get physical cravings. Why do women not wanting to get married chose married men to mess around with? Women have been known to say "He’s already married with children or none, knows his way around women [hmmm, keeping the wife happy, I want some of that, don’t love him just want to be loved, comforted well] Batchelor’s tired of their single lives ready to love and marry one woman are the very ones these single women avoid because they’re not ready for the big The most valuable of women and men in marriage is the incorruptible man. Why would a single women go after a happily married man who does work, brings home the bacon with his wife’s help sharing chores and economics and not a stray, may look but knows touching is off limits. I guess it’s the "unattainable man" thing and I don’t mean seduction of a gay man by a straight woman as a self challenge and ego boost. Its going after a good provider, loyal friend, husband, father, son, brother, because of pure desire. If the guy says no it gets her goat that she’s who may be fantastic looking and great in bed instead of saying oh well he becomes a challenge, a mountain to clime and mount. When and if the hubby succumbs he is no longer a good man in anyone’s eyes but is an adulterer, beast, with the potential of wrecking his home. Meanwhile the other woman is one proving all men are dogs except for the one man she can’t have because he is really incorruptible. It seems once a man is married other women who wouldn’t notice him is more attractive and even more so with children. The more he has to lose the better he looks them. He doesn’t have to be anyone special fat, skinny, ugly, but if he’s married and has one or a few children some women just has have him. I guess it’s slightly different with women who are more emotionally tied to their men and family but if they feel emotionally bereft they may seek it somewhere else. I don’t know what sort of marriage material I am or if a woman would gamble on me at all but I do know having a fling with beautiful women even if one isn’t caught the emotional turmoil, secrets, are not worth the loss of a love wife and children. Maybe I wouldn’t be a good husband in that I may not be attractive enough to be wanted by other women and wives like to know they have someone worth keeping. Yet the good man, woman thing makes married boring and exciting at the same time. The most attractive men and women may not be about looks at all but are committed to each other and that is always sexier that single hunting each other in dance clubs, bars, or strip joints. Both married couple have been through the single scene, finally found the one and hopefully will stay together. There’s an add in newspapers that says "Make Your married friends jealous." The only problem is with all those partners everyday or week gets tiresome. At first its great going out with different people but after a time this too can become a chore or go to new places meeting new people, and renew the process. Meanwhile the couple who’ve see this, been there, done that will act as if they’re missing something, that life is less adventurous and tamer showing sad faces. When their single friends leave the married couple look at each other, burst out laughing, check on babies, older children, if they have any and quickly walk not run upstairs for their own private party. They’re glad not to live that so called life of freedom anymore that’s why they got married to get out if in the first place and never looked back. There are times being single is great and ghastly I’ll probably remain single for awhile but love sneaks up on me unaware I won’t breaking Cupid’s arrows but picking them manually inserting them in deep into my heart making sure the love sticks. As for divorce: that’s a realm I’ve haven’t experienced either but if men, women, and children want to tell me about it you know where to write. Be ye Single, Married, Divorced, Separated, or Remarried. Tell me how it really is people.… Bye. Please send donations to For Joe only my snail mail: Email: askjoe@poormagazine.org |