Moving Down,

by Joe B.

Back to back storms hammering San Francisco last night and early today is another warning to get my act together.

Starting with dripping water on my bed and rug.

Living up four flights up is great when fleet week's Blue Angels fly high making sonic booms but other than that when it rains I always worry about leaks in my room above me is the roof.

Enough about that how about food and sex?

At this late date I’m learning do with less while the other I’m literally starved for.

Food and Sex are equated in different ways to me.

When eating I like the slow anticipation, smells, hint, and faint taste of the food.

To savor flavors taking time to sample each plate.

With sex its surpasses food because if correctly done it can be repeated, varied, each partner resting as the other gathers strength, stamina, endurance for longer slow heated session.

I don’t go bars unless they have a café too.

I’m a very quiet, tend to sit in a corner and write things, don't dance guess I can relearn that again.

Then there’s the lazy eye problem which throws women off meaning I’m counted out as date material.

Food is substance and learning to eat healthy is the best I can do while trying ease or break out of my shell of constant feminine rejection.

After a few women did take a chance on me I feel finally I am not an Ogre, troll, or frog that will never be taken home.

Still I’m starved, hungry, parched to be touched and touch sometimes just staying in afterglow in wordless communication or with words is worth it for a lover’s peace of mind that she's there for him, him for her or whichever lover that stays long after sex is done.

Since I don’t smoke, drink, or take drugs it seems my endurance is notched way up.
And I don’t mean that long march from 24th and Mission Street to City Hall.

I dislike looking at sports all day and porn flicks pale in the face of fleshy reality.

For me there are quieter, slower, more pleasant ways to spend lazy Saturday or Sunday mornings - endurance helps with that too.

My aging process isn’t sped up as many of my contemporaries and I’d like outwit entropy more in future.

Because of earlier experiences with cars,(got hit by 'em) girls,
(got beaten especially if they like you but express it with punches in the face, mouth, and stomach) it could've be worse,
and sports(hit in my good eye by yellow indoor hockey puck).

Later in high school (getting speared, gored in the neck by a guy using a shopping cart as ramming device,because weeks before he pulled down my red gym shorts had regular shorts on in public outside in gym class.

For that I rabbit punched him twice in the face busting his lip open.

Like everyone else growing up I go through stuff get over most of it except the lazy eye thing.

I didn’t listen and kept taking the patch off.

So I either scare children or they now tell me "You should’ve listened to your mother like I did."

I guess I’ll ware a black patch so women won’t automatically do a zoom in zoom out seeing my minor vision flaw.

Recently I was reading the back of a S.F. Guardian, you know all the dating section for people getting together or mixed signals.

I see the "Safe Sex Get Paid" Men!

Usually after reading the paper I give it to someone else to read or don’t pick it up refusing to place an ad out of fear of rejection and self loathing.

Then there’s the no-car-SRO kiss of death.

I’ve even thought of going to one of those men’s club like Hustler’s, Crazy Horse, or Big Al’s.

But even if I dressed well, saved money and enjoy the food and conversations with a few lovely ladies.

Still the women working there or there with or without dates have scoped the place, men/women out and already unless I ware a patch will certainly be passed, overlooked, or talked to as a joke, I know its happened before and need not be repeated.

Back to the Safe Sex Get Paid Ad.

I thought why the hell not, ware a damn patch, make a call, check it out and if something happens and I’m paid too that’s enough revenge for me.

women are blameless for rejection it was my error as a child causing a visceral physical revulsion they have seeing a less than perfect man we all do it to some degree.

I do have someone across the bay and when I go it is heaven for a few days and hours I just cannot go everyday and both our work schedules do not coincide.

Then I return to San Francisco and purgatory now you know why I feel empty, starved, parched, always hungry.

There is sexual addiction, hyper sex drives, low to no sex drive.

My problem:I don’t get enough of it its like breathing in half breaths, or being half asleep the whole you were sleep you really didn’t get enough sleep and you wake up groggy and still tired.

Am I being more practical in receiving sexual gratification and getting paid for it, giving up regular girl friend(s).

I’m like many guys in that if marriage, family is not in the cards I might as well be as good as I can to all the stray women not necessary into commitment.

Until I find one that is.
One poor slobs sad story granted but I’m gonna check this Safe Sex Pay thing out and if something or someone comes out of that’s fine but will I expose this?

Hell no, if I’m having sex getting, paid for it I’ll say nothing about it.

I’ll be more happy, less on edge, feeling less pressure, and more release and free.

As you can see and hear I’m a nerd about sex to the point like food I know it should be savored, enjoyed not rushed and one should improve upon.

As for Yoga, Transcendental Medication, Karma Sutra, and Tantric, Tantric arts since I’ve been starved and like any child of light I’d like to make as many female people as a few have made me.

Women, got any ideas how I can improve my odds of meeting some of you without being dorkish?

In San Francisco. I’m a nice, timid, horny but not horn dog guy.

Any help will be appreciated.

PS If guys or ladies tried the ad, got into it.
Could you folks tell me good and bad stuff about your experience.

You folks know what happens I'd like to be warned what I'm getting into... Bye.

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