(Note: Stanley Roberts is the host of a TV segment called "People Behaving Badly" on San Francisco TV outlet KRON 4..."The News Station". The segment includes footage of people deemed to be behaving badly in real time. It includes the "Bad Behavior" of many, excluding the bad behavior of Stanley Roberts because it is assumed--by this writer anyway--that Mr. Stanley Roberts never behaves badly...ever. Enjoy)
Bird on a wire: The Raven speaks out on Stanley Roberts
By Revolutionary Worker Scholar
Q: What’s new in the life of the raven?
A: Same stuff as the last time
Q: Nothing new?
A: I’m still trying to avoid you, why do you keep following me?
Q: Because I think your voice is important…you got something to say.
A: I think you’re full of shit
Q: That’s ok. But seriously, what's happening with you my brother?
A: I’m trying to survive, trying to get food—its rough out here—competition from owls, pigeons, seagulls, squirrels—not to mention those pain in the ass artists who pretend to be poor, stealing my bread scraps when I’m not looking.
Q: Which artists?
A: Never mind…we’ll save that for a future interview
Q: I understand you ran into Stanley Roberts the other day. What do you think of him?
A: You mean that big guy from KRON 4 News?
Q: Yes…where did you see him?
A: Downtown. I saw this orbicular figure coming out of the bushes with another guy holding a TV camera.
Q: What did he do?
A: I’m not sure but I landed on the windowsill of a bar the next day. They had one of those flat screen TV’s. I thought it was 3 dimensional because I could’ve swore I saw Stanley’s belly pop right out of the screen. Anyway, I was watching Stanley’s segment. It was called People Behaving Badly. What a crybaby that guy is.
Q: Crybaby?
A: Yeah, a whiner. Everything out of this mouth sounded like nanny nanny nah nah. He looks like a man…with that flannel shirt and all…kind of like the guy on the paper towel package but when he opens his mouth, man, what a crybaby. Reminds me of when i used to hover around various schools. I'd see those kids that were designated hall monitors. Stanley must have been one of those kids.
Q: What was he crying about?
A: Everything. Complaining whining and crying about people recycling, crying about illegal left turns, right turns, cyclists, homeless people in the park, people walking their dogs, people tossing paper cups on the street, bus drivers. But I didn’t hear him crying and complaining about CEO's behaving badly or heavyset voyeurs with accompanying cameramen. I thought: How’d this guy ever get a job? Then I figured he must have cried for it.
Q: So, you think he’s a voyeur?
A: What else can you call him, hiding behind a camera spying on people, waiting for them to do wrong and broadcast it to the world with crybaby commentary. What kind of goofy Mickey Mouse brother is this, I thought--being black myself.
A: Do you have anything positive to say about Dear Stanley?
Q: He obviously eats well, much better than I do. I think I used the word orbicular to describe him (I like that word). Stanley ought to stick with what he does best—eating. He shouldn’t stray too far from the dinner plate. But it’s unlikely he ever does.
Q: Any last words?
A: Let’s hope brother Stanley doesn’t get caught behaving badly. I’m a raven up here on a wire and my comrades are up here too. We see it all. Yes…let’s hope Stanley doesn’t behave badly. If there’s one thing I can’t stand is a crybaby. Nanny Nanny Nah Nah.