Bird on a Wire: The Raven speaks out on Occupy Protests, Facebook, SF Mayoral Race and Herman Pizza Man Cain

p strongPoor Magazine/strong: Long time no see. Where you been?/p p strongRaven/strong: Irsquo;ve been grounded/p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: With such a beautiful wingspan, how could that be possible?/p p strongRaven/strong: Well, it happened. I found a laptop one day out in the open, just landed on it. I started pecking way at the keys and this thing came on the screen./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: What was it?/p p strongRaven/strong: Facebook/p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: What do you think of it?/p p strongRaven/strong: I donrsquo;t know. One thingrsquo;s for sure, Irsquo;m not getting as much exercise as before./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: Itrsquo;s addictive isnrsquo;t it?/p p strongRaven/strong: Who you span data-scayt_word="tellin’" data-scaytid="1"tellinrsquo;/span? The whole thing is wearing down my beak. I canrsquo;t peckhellip;I canrsquo;t poke. I get nauseated whenever i see Mark span data-scayt_word="Zuckerberg's" data-scaytid="2"Zuckerberg#39;s/span face. He span data-scayt_word="kinda" data-scaytid="3"kinda/span looks like Ronald McDonald without makeup. Irsquo;m becoming as useless as my Facebook friends./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: How many Facebook friends do you have?/p p strongRaven/strong: I lost track. A thousand, maybe more./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: Thatrsquo;s a lot/p p strongRaven/strong: I donrsquo;t know any of lsquo;em though. A lot of lsquo;em look like they hang out at those occupy protests./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: Hang out?/p p strongRaven/strong: Yeah, hang out. They got nothing else to occupy themselves with. I mean, I#39;ve been out occupying these buildings for a long time on all this stolen land. I#39;ve been crying out for a long time. I#39;m sure you#39;ve heard my voice echoing in the halls of your mind or the chambers of your heart. span data-scayt_word="Kaaaaaaaaaa" data-scaytid="4"Kaaaaaaaaaa/span! span data-scayt_word="Kaaaaaaaaa" data-scaytid="5"Kaaaaaaaaa/span! Hey, that ain#39;t just span data-scayt_word="ka-ka" data-scaytid="6"ka-ka/span, you know? Things have been in disarray for a long time. What have i gotten? An occasional scrap. But people are waking up and that#39;s a good thing./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: You must be busy with friend requests/p p strongRaven/strong: All the time. I got politicians waiting in line to be my friend. The San Francisco mayoral candidates, what a crowd. I havenrsquo;t span data-scayt_word="friended" data-scaytid="7"friended/span them yet. I canrsquo;t keep up with all of lsquo;em. You got Lee, Yee, Woo and Chow./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: I think you mean Lee, Yee and span data-scayt_word="Chiu" data-scaytid="8"Chiu/span/p p strongRaven/strong: Maybe so, but itrsquo;s interesting. Look at the field. Dennis Herrera looks like Jay Leno with a hangover. John span data-scayt_word="Avalos" data-scaytid="10"Avalos/span has hair that can withstand hurricane winds. span data-scayt_word="Dufty" data-scaytid="11"Dufty/span likes span data-scayt_word="Muni" data-scaytid="12"Muni/span and animals. Leland Yee looks much taller on TV. David span data-scayt_word="Chiu" data-scaytid="9"Chiu/span looks like a bank teller. Jeff span data-scayt_word="Adachi" data-scaytid="14"Adachi/span could easily do Menrsquo;s span data-scayt_word="Wearhouse" data-scaytid="15"Wearhouse/span commercials and Terry Baum looks like she spends much time composting./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: What about Ed Lee?/p p strongRaven/strong: I prefer Jet Li/p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: Any last thoughts?/p p strongRaven/strong: Yeah, that brother thatrsquo;s running for president, the republican, McCain. He needs to hang it up./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: Donrsquo;t you mean Herman emCain/em?/p p strongRaven/strong: Hey, i know what the hell I mean.nbsp; I don#39;t need you to tell me that.nbsp; But yeah, thatrsquo;s him. Blood needs to stick to making pan pizzas. Listening to him talkhellip;itrsquo;s no wonder the fast food workers of the world never get above minimum wage. And I was reading that he had some kind of sexual harassment thing going on a few years back that#39;s coming out in the media. I guess the brother was the Clarence Thomas of the pizza world./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: Who do you like?rsquo;/p p strongRaven/strong: I liked that brother who said the rents too high. That guy had fire and one span data-scayt_word="helluva" data-scaytid="16"helluva/span mustache. Come to think of it, he looked a little like Cecil Williams over at Glide. Which reminds me, I got to glide my ass over there for lunch. But you know, anything beats Para span data-scayt_word="Sailin" data-scaytid="17"Sailin/span./p p strongPoor Magazine/strong: You mean Sarah Palin?/p p strongRaven/strong: Same difference/p