The (S)e-Lekshun is over and i feel unclean. i am filled with a nauseating shame like when you steal food from a friend, and tell yourself its ok because you were really hungry, or cheat on a lover, telling yourself the whole time its just because you are really lonely. The rationalizations don't help. Yes, I was terrified of the science fiction movie known as Mitt Romney, but then again, wasn't the entire "selection" all really in fact a giant science fiction movie with strange, "magic underwear" wearing wite men, cheered on by un-hooded kkk members who live everywhere in amerikkka, throwing down for a monster like Romney because they are terrified that there is no such thing as a Minority anymore unless you are talking about old wite men- (take note sistaz n brothers)
In the blur of this really sick, co-dependent, booty call with Obamney, I still want to talk about race, a beautifully constructed capitalist dynamic to ensure that the people of the world, specifically us poor peoples will NEVER really "come together" as is so often called for by advocates, mamaz and revolutionaries. So that visionaries like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X and Mumia Abu Jamal, Audre Lord, Fred Hampton, Leonard Peltier and Emiliano Zapata will never really be listened to and real self-determined change will never be considered by the masses.
Most of the neighbors and friends I know and even alot of my organizer friends who I love and respect were cheering last night. As i heard the cheers the nausea started to kick in. Nausea not shared by my brave partner Tony Robles who voted for Jill Stein and Cheri Honkala. But the rest of us voted for a beautiful African descendent man who will continue to allow the Tar Sands Xcel pipeline to be built and destroy thousands of miles of indigenous peoples land. We voted for a beautiful African descendent man who will sanction the killing of thousands of beautiful African and Iraqi and Afghani and Syrian and Libyan children and mamaz and daddys to be slaughtered and droned and killed in the fake name of "freedom". We voted in a beautiful African descendent man and his beautiful African Descendent partner to kill and destroy and desecrate and not feel as bad about it because he and she are doing it.
Through it all the real president, the terrifying, and subversive science fiction movie called Amerikkka character did win this selection- yes people- it wasn't actually about Obamney or Oromney- it was President Monsanto. and i am terrified to report that President Monsanto was -selected. Prop 37 was defeated, not by a huge margin, but yes, it was defeated And if there was ever a doubt in your minds that this was the real presidential "race" consider the fact that the Monsanto kkkorporation in tandem with the pesticide manufacturer Dow chemical spent over 19 million dollars to destroy this humble and simple proposition that only requested that food like Quaker Oatmeal and Lays potato chips ( both owned by Monsanto) which contain Genetically modified organisms which we have no idea what they do to our bodies and have shown in studies to split the organs of rats in half, would be labeled.
The small and truly important victories which are NOT to be overlooked were the defeat by the people of Proposition S- the Sit-Lie law in Berkeley, the most recent in a long-line of 21st Ugly Laws which criminalize poor peoples for just being poor and the peoples to thank for this defeat were the poor peoples and POOR Magazine peoples like Vivian Thorp and Homeless Action Center peoples like Patti Wall and Osha Neuman and Coalition on Homelessness people like Bob Offer-Westort who refused to give up this fight no matter how many lies were told about us po' folks.
As well as Prop 502 in Washington state, fought against and for by PNN Washington's own Lola Bean who framed this fight where it needed to be, around the issue of racism and poverty and decriminalization.
I am terrified and I am deeply ashamed. I cheated on the revolution last night. I stood there in that mini-notreallya booth- booth, following my heart and soul and revolution through all of the propositions and district races with my little black felt pen and then i got to the ultimate card. I could have used my vote for a change. I could have stepped outside the prescribed lie of fear and corporate set-up of the fake "two-party" system which is just one large one. But instead I glided my pen softly down across the page for Obamney. like a tentative and guiit-ridden lover on a booty call I shouldn’t have been on. I want to wash myself off and put perfume on and take the stench of my indiscretion away, but i can't. it will never leave. The wrong-ness of my actions will stay with me forever and so now all I can do, is apologize to all of my revolutionary companeros for even doing it in the first place. For being caught up in the wrong emotion, for taking the candy. for imbibing the cool-aid. For continuing the mindless selection. and like a guilty lover, I am promising myself and the world, from the bottom of my guilt -ridden heart, to NEVER do it again.